General [M]ayhem

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-   -   ITT: We tell poop disasters. (

Noct 03-16-2005 02:07 AM

Oh yeah and one time I was like buying computer parts at this store and I had to take a shit really bad. I ended up farting really good and then I eventually got myself to a toilet. I learned that my bvds were literally shit stained. I took them off, shoved them in the place where you get those things to put on the toilet to sit on and dug the fuck out. The reason why I stuffed them in there is because there were people right outside and I didn't want to have in my hand a bvd and actually throw it away in a garbage can in front of those people.

huxley 03-16-2005 06:35 AM

long night of drinking
wake up
get in car
unsurmountable urge hits me
drop a duece on the side of the road

Chavez 03-16-2005 07:30 AM

[QUOTE=huxley]long night of drinking
wake up
get in car
unsurmountable urge hits me
drop a duece on the side of the road[/QUOTE]


You got in the car to go somewhere to take a dump?

Malmhead 03-16-2005 07:31 AM

[QUOTE=Max Power]"So, bro, I hear you fucked the shit out of some girl last night."[/QUOTE]

:lol: waffles :lol: :D

Nevermore 03-16-2005 07:54 AM

(this might not make sense, its 12:54 am and im really really tired)
not a real 'omg im shitting my insides out with the power of an industrial sized high pressure hose' thing, but it involves poop..

sitting in my mates front yard at about 4am just chilling after a party...

sitting there for ages with my beer and just thinking bout life and stuff, he calls me and says get inside or something, as im standing up i slip in something, put my hand and arm down to stabalise. get up my arms a bit wet... i thought it was the sprinklers or dew or something wet from the ice i dumped out there 2 hours earlier..

i wipe my arm and hand on my WHITE and blue shirt and creme shorts (changed from jeans because it was hot)... walk in to the front door and i hear 'uhhhhh what the fuck have you been doing?!'
i turn on the front light and look at myself.. DOG SHIT EVERYWHERE!!!!! the biggest fucking turd ever, and i fucking wiped it on a 2 day old shirt ffs... i just stood there smelling worse than a pile of human shit.. and laughed.

poop gets wiped on me
friend sees
friend also remembers
reminds me of it often
no real profit

Chavez 03-16-2005 08:51 AM

We need moar stories...less lurking.

I have a cousin that is very much younger than I. Apparently he was taking a dump when all of a sudden his sister yells out "gross!" His mom ran into the bathroom only to find him eating his own feces.


Biodome 03-16-2005 09:08 AM


Zero3803 03-16-2005 09:14 AM

Oh I just remembered a pretty horrible poop story that happened to me. When I was younger, we all used to fight on my neighbors trampoline, like have wwf matches and shit like that. Well I'm wrestling this kid we all made fun of for his terrible lisp and just because he is plain stupid. So I have him in a headlock and something starts to wreak, I look down and the kid had strained so hard he dropped a load in his pants which was now all over the trampoline and all over my damn shirt. I slowly got up without a word and walked home to cut the shirt off and take a long cold bath :(

Chavez 03-16-2005 09:18 AM


STFU! The internets is serios bizness! :tard:

yumm_pancakes 03-16-2005 09:33 AM

:lol: these seem to never end!

1st_2_di3 03-16-2005 09:59 AM

[QUOTE=Chavez]We need moar stories...less lurking.

I have a cousin that is very much younger than I. Apparently he was taking a dump when all of a sudden his sister yells out "gross!" His mom ran into the bathroom only to find him eating his own shit.

:barf: [img][/img][/QUOTE]


wadie 03-16-2005 10:43 AM

Had a very, very near miss this morning at college.

I'm in a car mechanics course and was wearing my overalls... felt the need to poo, so I went and did my business.. a little runny maybe but nothing out of the ordinary. So I finish up and go outside for a cigarette... about halfway through I get a sudden rumbling in my bowels, then a few squeaks followed by the biggest urge to purge i've had in a long time.

I run flat out to the bathroom, undoing my overalls on the way and burst through the stall door just in time to plant my naked ass on the seat and let it go. It was a really disgusting poo too, like light brown water with flecks of crap and then a few nuggets which I wasn't expecting caused some splashback :(

But I did feel great after it.

neonlights 03-16-2005 10:59 AM

Couple others:

1) When I was little, maybe 6/7 years old, my mom threw a really big halloween party. I don't know what happened exactly, but my uncle ended up getting really sick. So I went up to bathroom with him to make sure he'd be okay, and to hold his hair. While he was hunched over puking he (i found out later) somehow managed to shit himself, but he was too drunk to notice. So I walked downstairs leaving him alone and went up to my mom and was like, "Uncle Bob needs YOU to hold his hair." She was like, "why?" "Cause he smells like poop."

The next day, when he recovered fully, he ended up giving me 10$ for holding his hair, and getting someone older to take care of his mess instead of leaving him in it. :D

2) I'm a twin, so for the first couple years of my life me and my brother would always be given baths together. Around the time that we were 3 years old, we were being given a bath at my dad's house, and he went to answer the phone or something, in which time I lost control and took a dump in the bathtub. My brother started freaking out, and I started crying. My dad came back running asking what was wrong. I started yelling "Buddy pooped in the tub!"

Dad ended up cleaning it up, draining the tub and giving us new (and seperate) baths. We never got a bath together again after that

John Preston 03-16-2005 12:31 PM

I just for back from a trip to thailand with a couple of days in hong kong for new years (christmas 2003). The last day of flying back (about 14 hours in the air, plaus all the waiting) and during this day I feel ILL. on the plane I'm uncontrollably shivering, in the vancouver airport I feel like my limbs are going to freeze off, etc.

Fast forward a few days, it's about 4 am, I can't remember why I was stilla wake, but I throw on my bathrobe to get up and go get a drink or something. I was also wearing boxers. I try to let a fart go, but my sickness gets the best of me, and suddenly I realize I'm sitting in something distrubingly warm. Definetly no profit.

SlickChicFallen 03-16-2005 02:04 PM

this thread is so funny that I'm gonna fail my biology class because I'm reading poop stories instead of studying for my final :(

no profit

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