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I was working at this summer camp one year, it was a YMCA camp so some of the kids were kinda from these "PRAISE JESUS" families, and are sometimes hard to handle. That one week I was in charge of the 6-8 year olds, and only had about 7 kids, so it was all good. It was Sunday, opening day orientation, fresh batch of kids. I was feeling pretty good, the kids were well behaved, and they never really back-talked to me. That night after me and the other leaders in the cabin put them to bed, I climbed into bed with expectations of a good nights sleep. Jesus, was I wrong. About an hour into slumber I wake up with a HORRIBLE pressure in my stomach, as if someone took a bike pump and gushed a couple gallons of air in there. I itmmediately tip-toe to the restroom, trying not to wake any kids up, and promptly shut the door and launch my ass on the toilet. Nothing came out at first, but after just a wee bit of pushing, the sound of a minute sized log hitting the water filled the air. Confused, I attempt to push a bit more, only to open the flood gates, unleashing an unholy amount of the vilest smelling liquid I have ever smelled. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, we've all had the shits from time to time, but the SOUND. It's as if an elephant was violently vomiting from INSIDE my bowels. The flood continued to flow, and as I was in mid-push, I heard the worst sound possible.

The sound of a doornob being twisted open.

Let me tell you something about these bathrooms. There's about 3 toilets lined up with a small shower in between each one, and each stall is covered over by a small piece of thin plastic hooked up to a metal bar which, despite anyone's efforts, was notorious for never being big enough to block the view of the toilet-ee. As the door opened, not one, not two, but 3 of the campers come rushing into the bathroom, wide-eyed and wondering what the horrific sound they heard was. Upon gazing upon my sorry state, they itmmediately began to laugh there sorry little asses off, screaming and hollering at what they saw. This, of course, woke up everyone in MY cabin and the three surrounding it. While trying to pull the green curtain to cover myself, I felt my stomach begin to churn again, and began to vomit a vile red substance all over the floor and my pajama pants. The rest is a bit hazy, but I remember the other leaders of the cabin trying to get the kids out of the bathroom, laughing uncontrollably themselves. I spent about 6 hours that night shitting and vomiting myself to sleep on the toilet. I woke up at around 5, took a shower, and spent the rest of the day in one of the beds in the nurses office.

Needless to say, I lose all respect from my campers that week, they wouldn't listen to a thing I said. And of course the story spread through-out the entire campground. Not a good week to be had at all.
Old 03-14-2005, 09:17 PM thegrandpenguin is offline