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2 years ago I rented a room in a beach house in Dewey beach deleware. Dewey beach is a tiny area with shitty beachs. It does however have incredible clubs and nightlife. People go there to go party then go lay on the crappy beach the next day to recover from the previous night. The population is mostly made up of hot ass chicks and model looking guys.

So my beachhouse had 18 people staying in it. I was the other guy. For 8 weekends I was the only guy at the house and at any one time there were no less than 7 people staying there. There were 3 bathrooms in the house and as you might expect that was 19 bathrooms too few.

One afternoon after a few too many terriaki chicken wings I felt that familiar rumbling in my lower regions. I made a quick trip to the closest bathroom where I spent at least 45 minutes trying to give birth to a full size nfl football, with laces. This thing was huge. It was so big I had to take breaks in the middle.

So I finish and I flush. I standup and realize that this monster is not ready to leave this world since it is too big around to fit down the hole.

Right about now I get the "hey hurry up in there, you've been in there too long we need to shower too". So at this point I now have an audience outside waiting for me come out. I cant flush 15 more times without suffering the indignity of womens gossip.

So at this point I need something to sink this behemoth and I'm not going to use my finger. My eyes quickly dart around the sink scouring the toiletries for something sticklike to break this leviathon into toilet friendly sizes. What can I use?

A toothbrush.

I quickly snag a toothbrush off the counter and use the handle to stab my shit monster into the afterlife. It took about 2 minutes to break it up into pieces that I was confident would submit to the tiny hole. I can say that it was probably in the top 5 worst 2 minutes of my life, but probably not the worst. I have stories far worse than this.

So I flush the shit soup and it all goes down with a satisfying gurgle. Im quite satisfied with myself until I realize that I'm still holding someones shitty handled toothbrush. I contemplated washing it and putting it back but I decided that I was willing to spend the time to destink it enough to pass the pepsi challenge. So I wrapped it up in toilet paper and put it in the trash.

I got the fuck out of the bathroom and just in time. The ladies were all but ready to bust in. It wasnt 2 minutes before I heard "Hey, where's my toothbrush?"
Old 03-14-2005, 09:39 PM L33T_h4x0r_d00d is offline