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Jaded1
 
Overly paranoid ? Haha. Either way, I hope it works out for you, but in my opinion it reeks of . Question. If she is "confused" now, what is going to change that for her? A day? A week? I'm not being a wiseass, just asking the question. Again, I hope I'm wrong and you live happily ever after!
Old 03-02-2012, 12:02 PM Jaded1 is offline  
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Overly paranoid ? Haha. Either way, I hope it works out for you, but in my opinion it reeks of . Question. If she is "confused" now, what is going to change that for her? A day? A week? I'm not being a wiseass, just asking the question. Again, I hope I'm wrong and you live happily ever after!

No you're right. What she's done has basically put her in a convenient position to do almost anything, at any time. She could come to me tomorrow and say, "Let's be together" or she could wait a month and say, "I don't want to be with you" but until then I'm just sitting here like a jackass. And until then, she can still see me whenever she wants and receive my affection. I've got a one-way ticket to suckersville!

But I'm just going to take it easy with zero expectations. By overly-paranoid I meant that she's not sitting there ting my demise, I honestly believe this will end positively.
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Old 03-02-2012, 08:41 PM :ninja: is offline  
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See that's the thing though. On the one hand you recognize the complexity of the situation and believe she deserves time to work it out. You're hopeful that things do work out for both of you and you can have a fulfilling relationship.

On the other hand, she owes you as rapid an honest response as possible, the tension there being between taking adequate time to honestly work through her feelings and responding to you in a timely fashion.

The risk is that without prompting from you, you remain an option for her rather than something competing to be her priority. Meanwhile, she remains your priority. This relationship indicates you are willing to put yourself on hold for her - and in a developed relationship this can be a sign of maturity.

But you've known her for five days. And her past relationship history does not indicate maturity. Your present course of action does not deal with these facts very well.
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Old 03-03-2012, 02:29 AM fapling is offline  
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See that's the thing though. On the one hand you recognize the complexity of the situation and believe she deserves time to work it out. You're hopeful that things do work out for both of you and you can have a fulfilling relationship.

On the other hand, she owes you as rapid an honest response as possible, the tension there being between taking adequate time to honestly work through her feelings and responding to you in a timely fashion.

The risk is that without prompting from you, you remain an option for her rather than something competing to be her priority. Meanwhile, she remains your priority. This relationship indicates you are willing to put yourself on hold for her - and in a developed relationship this can be a sign of maturity.
Indeed

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But you've known her for five days. And her past relationship history does not indicate maturity. Your present course of action does not deal with these facts very well.
I have this problem where I give people the benefit of the doubt. On the other hand, I don't expect much so I'm rarely surprised if things go badly.

But... ball is in her court. I'm not making an effort to see her, if she texts me then I'll respond etc, etc. Though at this point in time I'm no longer "waiting" for her to come around.


edit: I'm pretty sure that I just got used for affection and sex. Oddly enough, this bothers me a great deal.
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Old 03-03-2012, 03:06 PM :ninja: is offline  
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Indeed

But... ball is in her court. I'm not making an effort to see her, if she texts me then I'll respond etc, etc. Though at this point in time I'm no longer "waiting" for her to come around.

Yes, typically the best thing to do in this situation is to ignore her completely. If she wants to get back with you, figures her shit out and the feelings are genuine, she'll get in touch with you, and it won't have anything to do with you re-initiating anything. If she doesn't, then you got the path cut for you without any deliberation or grief. The latter possibility sucks, but saves you the most amount of time as long as you move on from her ASAP.


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edit: I'm pretty sure that I just got used for affection and sex. Oddly enough, this bothers me a great deal.

Sorry bro, that's never fun. The horrible thing about mutual infatuation is that you never really know the intentions of the opposite party until it settles, one way or another.
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Old 03-06-2012, 06:46 AM thegrandpenguin is offline  
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Small update...

She was sending me text messages and was calling me "hon", so I suggested again that we hang out. She said she wanted to, then proceeded to feed me a line about how she didn't know if she could... she was sure she had SOMETHING to do this weekend but she just can't remember what is was! Funny, it was the same thing last weekend too.

So, I told her I was gonna split. Not surprisingly, she had no issue with it and wanted us both to understand that it was completely my fault... I broke it off.
Whatever makes her sleep better at night. I can't stand people who don't have the balls to just be honest.


tl;dr, had a one week fling with a chick and she tried to string me along until her ex boyfriend dies of a heroin overdose.
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Old 03-07-2012, 06:19 PM :ninja: is offline  
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Sounds like you dodged a bullet. I know it sucks right now, but them's the breaks. Keep soldiering on, you'll find her eventually, and suddenly everything will have been worth it.
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Old 03-08-2012, 06:15 AM fapling is offline  
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Sounds like you dodged a bullet. I know it sucks right now, but them's the breaks. Keep soldiering on, you'll find her eventually, and suddenly everything will have been worth it.

It gets even better. I'll wait about a week to update again since this shit is B-A-N-A-N-A-S
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Old 03-08-2012, 10:08 AM :ninja: is offline  
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haha okay, we'll be waiting
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Old 03-09-2012, 03:25 AM fapling is offline  
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Jaded1
 
That blows, sorry it worked out that way.
Old 03-13-2012, 07:05 PM Jaded1 is offline  
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Jaded1
 
Hi! I am looking for someone to spend time with and get to know, and see where it can go. Friends? Sure. I can always use more friends. Dating? Sure, maybe if we hit it off just right. I am into both guys and girls...so I guess that makes me bi. I am 5'4" about 190lbs and I have 2 kids. Don't like kids or want someone who has them? Move along please. I do not want to waste time. I work two jobs to support my kids and myself. Have my own car as well, but getting a different/better one in 2 weeks. (YAY!) My ex (kids father) is still in my life, in fact he is my best friend and he supports me in all I do, and he also knows everything. Don't like that...again move along please. I will not choose between him and anyone because I will always choose my friends and that is what he is, my best friend.

Want to know more? Email me and let's see where we can go from there. Put your favorite superhero in the subject so I know you are real and not spam. Hope to hear from you soon!



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Old 03-15-2012, 10:24 PM Jaded1 is offline  
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Do what now?

So a stupid update, I really don't care anymore. Turns out she was telling the truth about all of it, and she's just extremely flaky and crazy. A mutual friend told me that she was pretty disappointed about me splitting, but assured me that he would do the same and knows another guy who has also done the same. She's honestly not smart enough to effectively lie or manipulate, and she suffers terrible anxiety from even the mildest of life events.

So, either way I'm still in the clear and am happy it's done. I registered on OK Cupid and went on two dates so far; both women incredibly intelligent and seemingly drama free. So I'm glad I didn't waste any more time on this one.

To be honest I'd prefer if this thread was deleted since I haven't spoken highly of this person.
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Old 03-18-2012, 06:22 PM :ninja: is offline  
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So a stupid update, I really don't care anymore. Turns out she was telling the truth about all of it, and she's just extremely flaky and crazy. A mutual friend told me that she was pretty disappointed about me splitting, but assured me that he would do the same and knows another guy who has also done the same. She's honestly not smart enough to effectively lie or manipulate, and she suffers terrible anxiety from even the mildest of life events.

Its hard to interpret whether or not actions are really big red flags.
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Old 03-18-2012, 10:53 PM Foolioq is offline  
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I had to learn a very hard lesson recently. I was dragged around by someone I genuinely liked, and she was very bad to me emotionally. It seemed like whenever she was around, all she wanted was sex and that a real relationship (as much fun as we had together) was something she couldn't and wouldn't commit to.

As it turns out, she has had nothing but poor, abusive (emotionally) relationships throughout her life. I was good to her, but it doesn't matter. I spent too much time trying to fix something I couldn't fix and clamoring for something I didn't really need in the first place. I was impressionable and easily sucked in because I've had so very few relationships with anyone.

Bottom line is that if the person isn't willing to commit from the start and will readily distance themselves from you because of an ex, that's enough of a red flag for you to stay away.

My mom has been really good with giving me advice over the years, and that was one of the things she's always stressed. You want someone who's emotionally stable from the start and doesn't have relationship baggage, or is so far removed from it that they are emotionally stable and can commit. Anything else is purely trouble.
Old 03-26-2012, 04:00 PM Sabbster]# is offline  
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Do what now?

So a stupid update, I really don't care anymore. Turns out she was telling the truth about all of it, and she's just extremely flaky and crazy. A mutual friend told me that she was pretty disappointed about me splitting, but assured me that he would do the same and knows another guy who has also done the same. She's honestly not smart enough to effectively lie or manipulate, and she suffers terrible anxiety from even the mildest of life events.

So, either way I'm still in the clear and am happy it's done. I registered on OK Cupid and went on two dates so far; both women incredibly intelligent and seemingly drama free. So I'm glad I didn't waste any more time on this one.

To be honest I'd prefer if this thread was deleted since I haven't spoken highly of this person.

I'm actually glad this thread hasn't been deleted, for I'm currently in a very similar situation.

I asked out a girl I knew from work. Without a beat she said yes as if she was waiting for me to ask her out. Some days later, I texted her if she had any plans for the night. She responded that she did and that she was going to hang out with her ex. They're in a funny situation and that was the reason why she was weird around me at some times.

I was about to make a new thread, but found this one and now I know what I need to do. Thanks for creating this one.
Old 04-16-2012, 10:42 PM Butthole Eliminator is offline  
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