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Originally Posted by chronage View Post
What are these? Bumps with an infection underneath or something?
Ingrown hairs gone bad.

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Old 10-13-2008, 09:28 AM lgbr is offline  

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good bye, halcyon days
Xarathatin's Avatar
I had two surgeries for mine when I was 16, the first to remove the cyst, the second was to fix the cut since they sewed it back up it healed but left a hole about 6 inches long.

They ended up sewing me up and using a drain bag or whatever it's called.

It's painful, but it's manageable, and about a week in the hospital, or it was when I had mine... 15ish years ago.
Old 10-13-2008, 11:40 AM Xarathatin is offline  

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Originally Posted by lgbr View Post
Ingrown hairs gone bad.
pretty much

and a literal pain in the ass
Old 10-13-2008, 05:01 PM bigandy839 is offline  

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I had one.
It was a pretty simple procedure and mine was about 1 inch in diameter.
Sewed me back up and it was not a big deal AT ALL.

I wouldnt worry about it.
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Old 10-13-2008, 09:08 PM Shadez is offline  

I had one, well several actually, but they were taken care of in one surgery. It's real simple, you go in, they knock you out, you wake up and there's a bulging scar on your lower back that you can't see and can't feel. I had a thing attached to me for a while so that if could drain but it was taken out maybe a week after the surgery. You lay on your side for a few weeks and you can't really do any strenuous physical activity for a few months.

It's really not that bad, and the constant stream of medical opiates they prescribe you makes things a lot nicer.
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Old 10-13-2008, 11:37 PM Chairmonkey is offline  

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hairdressers get them in the webbing of their fingers

other people's hair implanting itself in your hands

Old 10-14-2008, 12:03 AM bigandy839 is offline  

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Evidently your ass has these sinus they get clogged.
had them 2 times. First time I had to get cut (and was left open)
Second time Before I could make an appt. with the surgeon, my doc gave me antibiotics and it drained itself.

ProTip. When its draining, tape a maxi pad over it.
Old 10-14-2008, 09:24 AM K0ll is offline  

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Originally Posted by K0ll View Post
Evidently your ass has these sinus they get clogged.
had them 2 times. First time I had to get cut (and was left open)
Second time Before I could make an appt. with the surgeon, my doc gave me antibiotics and it drained itself.

ProTip. When its draining, tape a maxi pad over it.

Yeah i had antibiotics prescribed to me as well = it didnt do shit.
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Old 10-14-2008, 01:38 PM VanFanel is offline  

my story

Originally Posted by DivineStorm View Post
Seriously? And increase the odds of ingrown hair...which is like the cause of pilonidal cysts?

well i was wandering the same thing they dont shave your cyst but the area arround it i didnt have any hair right there but it was necessery if you or anyone from here who reads this is scared i recommend you to just calm down cause im 14 years old and i had this surgery like 10 days ago..ok i wont lie it hurts but only after the surgery and not as much as you expect from other people saying "oh i suffered" or other stuff...they scared me as hell and now i am much better even with a hole in my butt lol today i have to start doing showers again and shower my cyst i dont know if the water is gonna hurt inside it but i have to do it like every day..(your doctor will tell you what to do) i can even sit,i am sitting at the its cool and ask your doctor to show you what he removed youll be breathless by whatching this awfull thing but also glad that its not in your body anymore most people just open it and think that this is surgery nagh its deep to the bone at least mine was soo it looked really small and i was surprised but also glad that i had this shit out of me..just do the surgery youll figure out your self after its done that its absolutely nessecery
Old 09-10-2011, 02:39 AM kagfer is offline  

Originally Posted by Corbin View Post
God I hate these threads, they always freak me out. I never want a Pilonidal Cyst.

me too
Old 09-10-2011, 11:59 AM coalesce is offline  

I haven't had a cyst before, but I do take extra care to wash my butt carefully after I read this story 6 years ago. I think of this guy's tale with fear each time I hear of the problem.

Source =

Originally Posted by EHOWA

It all started my senior year, one day around thanksgiving. My computer's monitor blew out, and being a piece of shit computer anyway, I started saving for a whole new system rather than buy a new monitor.

Of course, in the meantime I had to find another computer to mooch from. I found this in my ex girlfriend, Amanda, who I'd made up with and become friends with. She lives a good distance away from me, so I was really only able to mooch the car from my parents to go check e-mail on the weekends.

Some background, so you'll see where this is going: I'm a good pool player, and I'd noticed that my pool game was off, and I wasn't feeling quite myself. I was tired all the time, and my grades had slumped slightly.

So I'm at Amanda's house on a saturday, checking e-mail. I flop down in her roller chair in front of her computer, and I feel this pain in the top of my ass crack. Me, being the typical male, think it's nothing, but I did bounce in the chair only to find that the padding was weak in the middle, and the pole that the chair itself sits on is pushing through, and kind of kicking me in the ass as I bounce. Enough of that.

"Alright," I think to myself, "I just hit that hard. No biggie."

Well, it hurt a bit more as I rode home after staying for dinner with Amanda's family. And a bit more the next day.

Monday it was tolerable, but I was beginning to think that I had bruised my tail bone.

So Tuesday, the fun (?) begins. I'm at school, and by 3rd or 4th period, I've broken out in a raging fevor. And I do mean raging. I mean I'm sweating, and quivering from the chills, and I've gone dead pale. And to make matters worse, my old piece of shit Jeep is in the garage on jacks, having the clutch servied. Fuck. That means I have to either walk the mile to my house (normally not a big deal, but just moving around in my seat was becoming a problem).

Staying for the rest of the day is out of the question, as now I'm having to lower myself carefully to my seat in class.

By now, I'm noticing something is wrong. I HAVE to get home and cover up, as my mom is a nurse and can give me some medicine and I can be back for school the next day. Besides, my afternoon classes were a joke, all with the same teacher, and he thought I was the coolest kid ever, and when all was said and done, he never even counted my absenses.

So I get a ride home from a friend. I do this because a friend of mine who's trying to quit cigarettes and nic fitting slaps me upside the head (as friends do) when I said something stupid. This nearly knocks me over and unconsious. Time to get home.

As luck would have it, mom got out early and came home to find me laying shivering on the couch, wrapped in a blanket with the electric heater on full blast. I relate to her why I'm there and not in computer science, and she says "Ok, Doctor time".

Now, to this point, I'm thinking get some stuff from mom, sleep it off. I have to be nearly dying to say doctor. She drags me out, kicking and screaming.

I'll skip the waiting room stories and the ride there, save to say that I was STANDING in the waiting room for 30 minutes and had to lay on my side in the car because my ass crack hurt so bad.

Alright. So here's the fun part. Doc takes one look at me and says "Polynydal cyst. Must come out. Now."

"But Doc," I say, "Can it at least wait until the weekend?" I was thinking of needles and pain, two things I can live without. I figure I can take it until the weekend, surely it'll be gone by then.

"Nope," He says, "You won't be able to walk by tomorrow."

What's a Polynydal Cyst, you ask? Well, basically, a hair on my ass got ingrown, but kept growing. It got bigger and bigger and got more and more stuff in there, sweat, more hair, boxer lint, etc. Not that I have a dirty ass, all it takes is one hair, and it even happens to women who don't have hairy butts. At any rate, the body forms a little sac around this, to keep it from affecting the rest of the body. This works well, except when it keeps growing. And growing. And growing. Basically like the world's largest zit. And all it leaves on the surface is a little red, slightly swolen bump that couldn't be seen through my ass, which, yes, is quite hairy.

So what does Doctor Giggles do? Well, first he shoots up my ass crack with novicane. Now, I've had some pretty nasty shots, in the wrist, the sole of the foot, the gums, the tongue, and this hurt worse than them all. Imagine the pain of the initial shot in the mouth the dentist gives you- now picture that pain plus acid times about ten million. I seriously thought he was pouring molten lava down my ass it hurt so bad.

"How long 'til I'm numb," I ask.

"You already are," My mom, who's a nurse and has seen several dozen surgeries and is therefore still in the room, informs me.

But it was too late. She didn't need to tell me. I suddenly felt the rush of liquid down the back of my balls. It was hot and thick- blood. Then, the room started to feel extremely hot. I hear the sound of cutting from my ass, and the doctor says something to the effect of "Holy shit!". Then he picks with his fingers for a second, and I feel what feels like string coming out of my ass. The pain was numb, but I could still feel tugging and pushing and pressure.

Then came the smell. The smell of rotten puss and stagnant blood. It smelled like someone had taken wet dog food, poured beef blood on it, microwaved it, and left it sitting on a table for 2 days. It permiated the air so that if you breathed through your mouth, you could only taste it.

More pulling. And I kept hearing these wet plopping sounds, which, as I looked over my left shoulder, I saw were pieces of blood soaked hair and fuzz about 3 inches long being dropped into the biohazard bag. Then, the doc said "Oh my God."

There, I felt the worst pain of my life. The doc squeezed this giant pimple, and I felt ten thousand knives drive into this new second asshole I'd developed. I could FEEL something big and vaguely round coming out the hole, and then the smell of rotten meat and eggs was so thick, my mom nearly passed out. She got up and left the room. I can't imagine how much that would've hurt without the novicane.

Now it's getting bad. My mom, a nurse of 30 years, who has held a beating heart in her hand, had to leave the room. Uh-oh.

Three or four more plops and a bunch of pushing on my ass, and doc tells me to pull up my pants, I'm done. I look down, and my boxers are completely stained with blood. It looks like I butchered a cow wearing nothing but those boxers.

I had to run outside, because I'm having an allergic reaction with the novicane and I'm about to puke. However, I know that fresh air will keep the charfing at bay, as I've had this problem before. I make it outside, mom comes out after paying, and already my fever is gone. I get in the car, and my ass feels so good that I can sit, and what's more, drive.

Now all I have is 5 weeks of going and having the gauze that's shoved in the hole that's remaining (the pressure I felt) changed. And after that, mom gets to clean it with a q-tip every other day. Why? Because, much like a blackhead, my ass has a hole that's essintially like a stretched open pore- the skin healed around the cyst while it was in, so I have to wait for my body to fill the hole BACK up, or I'll get another cyst, worse than before.

I had a good lol reading this again, especially how he had not 1, but two cases of self inflicted derping that probably brought it about.
1) Shitty stiff jeep suspension, as mentioned by VanFanel
2) Shitty worn out chair

There are many more good tasteless stories that are health-malfunction themed and almost all are worth the read if anyone else is interested.
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Last edited by Smeezor; 09-11-2011 at 12:55 PM..
Old 09-11-2011, 12:49 PM Smeezor is offline  

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