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Old 03-14-2005, 11:04 PM las Vegas is offline  
#226  

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Knox
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once I was at a shitty(lol pun) party, so I went to the bathroom and shit in the back of it where the water pumped up then left. I wonder how long they tryed to find out why the water came out brown and it smelled really bad hope no one had to puke.
Old 03-14-2005, 11:29 PM Knox is offline  
#227  

cobalt
 
i'm fucking crying here!

I have one good shit story. i was in 8th grade, and there was this girl in our class who i took an interest in. you know exactly which girl i am talking about, the prettiest, most popular, and most innocent girl in the school. this girl was always very friendly with everyone, and she seemed to be just within the realm of my attainability as far as being a potential girlfriend.

this girl sat very close to me in our earth science class, which most of us know is insanely boring. my sole enjoyment was to try to strike up conversations with this girl, who was a cheerleader (and this was catholic school, also). as fate would have it, we had a project coming up for science class. i was lucky enough to get picked to work in a group with the girl, and she even made arrangements for us to work on it at her house afterschool.

the day comes for said project, so after stopping by the store with my mother and gathering half of the materials for a paper mache volcano, i was dropped off at her house. her parents were very polite and even offered me some kraft macaroni and cheese. not to be impolite, i agreed and had two full helpings of the kraft concoction.

we began working on our project, (ironically) an erupting volcano. i was halfway through painting the lava tubes when I realized that my colon was pressurized to escape velocity. luckliy, my lady had gone to get the fake trees to decorate the volcano diorama. in order to buy myself some time, i tried to let out a fart to release some of the pressure. disaster struck. i had sharted, and if i didn't head to the bathroom right then, i would've been ridin' the gravy train all the way through her house.

so i short-stepped to the bathroom, locked the door, and sat down just in time to let out a monster shit. even though i had not entirely crapped myself, i still had the problem of the underpants to deal with. so i removed them, cleaned myself up, put my pants on, and decide to flush the underpants down the toilet. leaving the bathroom, i felt relieved that i had averted a potential crisis.

...or had i?

a few minutes after I emerged from the bathroom, her parents had gone into a wild flurry, and everyone ran to see what was wrong. the toilet had overflowed to the point where the poopy water had run out onto the carpet outside the bathroom. there was no stopping this tsunami of fecal water headed out into their house. the next few hours were absolute agony as the plumber got there to snake out the drain pipe, because my mom wasn't able to pick me up for a few hours.

they ended up recarpeting that house, and the girl barely spoke to me for the rest of eigth grade.
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Old 03-14-2005, 11:53 PM cobalt is offline  
#228  

Threnx
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cobalt
i'm fucking crying here!

I have one good shit story. i was in 8th grade, and there was this girl in our class who i took an interest in. you know exactly which girl i am talking about, the prettiest, most popular, and most innocent girl in the school. this girl was always very friendly with everyone, and she seemed to be just within the realm of my attainability as far as being a potential girlfriend.

this girl sat very close to me in our earth science class, which most of us know is insanely boring. my sole enjoyment was to try to strike up conversations with this girl, who was a cheerleader (and this was catholic school, also). as fate would have it, we had a project coming up for science class. i was lucky enough to get picked to work in a group with the girl, and she even made arrangements for us to work on it at her house afterschool.

the day comes for said project, so after stopping by the store with my mother and gathering half of the materials for a paper mache volcano, i was dropped off at her house. her parents were very polite and even offered me some kraft macaroni and cheese. not to be impolite, i agreed and had two full helpings of the kraft concoction.

we began working on our project, (ironically) an erupting volcano. i was halfway through painting the lava tubes when I realized that my colon was pressurized to escape velocity. luckliy, my lady had gone to get the fake trees to decorate the volcano diorama. in order to buy myself some time, i tried to let out a fart to release some of the pressure. disaster struck. i had sharted, and if i didn't head to the bathroom right then, i would've been ridin' the gravy train all the way through her house.

so i short-stepped to the bathroom, locked the door, and sat down just in time to let out a monster shit. even though i had not entirely crapped myself, i still had the problem of the underpants to deal with. so i removed them, cleaned myself up, put my pants on, and decide to flush the underpants down the toilet. leaving the bathroom, i felt relieved that i had averted a potential crisis.

...or had i?

a few minutes after I emerged from the bathroom, her parents had gone into a wild flurry, and everyone ran to see what was wrong. the toilet had overflowed to the point where the poopy water had run out onto the carpet outside the bathroom. there was no stopping this tsunami of fecal water headed out into their house. the next few hours were absolute agony as the plumber got there to snake out the drain pipe, because my mom wasn't able to pick me up for a few hours.

they ended up recarpeting that house, and the girl barely spoke to me for the rest of eigth grade.

Wow, good story. No offense, you're a dumbass for trying to flush your underwear. WTF that's just dumb.
Old 03-14-2005, 11:55 PM Threnx is offline  
#229  

cobalt
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Threnx
Wow, good story. No offense, you're a dumbass for trying to flush your underwear. WTF that's just dumb.
that was the first and last time i tried to flush briefs down the toilet.
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Old 03-14-2005, 11:57 PM cobalt is offline  
#230  

Threnx
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cobalt
that was the first and last time i tried to flush briefs down the toilet.

Now...you said they had a plumber come & snake out the toilet...did he fish out your underoos? THAT would be embarrassing...
Old 03-14-2005, 11:58 PM Threnx is offline  
#231  

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Old 03-15-2005, 12:02 AM emorphien is offline  
#232  

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Holy shit..
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Old 03-15-2005, 12:12 AM wr3kt is offline  
#233  

Chibo
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Threnx
Now...you said they had a plumber come & snake out the toilet...did he fish out your underoos? THAT would be embarrassing...



Leet Haxor's posts made me laugh like a motherfucker as well
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Old 03-15-2005, 12:19 AM Chibo is offline  
#234  

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This just happened a few days ago.

My gf was feeling a bit randy and whispered in my ear to go run a hot bath for us. Well I shot over to the bathroom like a dog on heat. While waiting for the bath to fill up I'm pacing up and down in excitement. Before long the bath is full, I pour some of her scented stuff in the bath and place a few candles around the edge of th bath.

Now standing naked in the bathroom I climb into the bath with anticipation of what the next few hours might hold in stall for me. Suddenly an evil pain arises from the stomach region, like the devil is pounding my insides. Too busy thinking about the upcoming fun i'm about to recieve I ignore it.

The door opens, in walks my gf in the sexiest nightgown i've ever seen her in. Now filled with lust I lure her into the bath. Like the teasing manipulator she is she climbs into the other end of the bath, all the time rubbing my throbbing cock with her foot. She edges closer, and closer until she is right near me. Then with a sudden burst she jumps onto me........right on my stomach. With no warning liquid shit soons fills the bath, that scented shampoo is suddenly overtaking with the most vile smelling shit I have ever stunk in my life. My gf shoots out of the bathroom faster than an ethiopian chasing after a breadcrumb, while I lay there in disbelief at what just happened.

She's now my ex-gf
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Old 03-15-2005, 12:21 AM Smeg is offline  
#235  

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Yeah. Vault.
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Old 03-15-2005, 12:24 AM spoon is offline  
#236  

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smeg
This just happened a few days ago.

My gf was feeling a bit randy and whispered in my ear to go run a hot bath for us. Well I shot over to the bathroom like a dog on heat. While waiting for the bath to fill up I'm pacing up and down in excitement. Before long the bath is full, I pour some of her scented stuff in the bath and place a few candles around the edge of th bath.

Now standing naked in the bathroom I climb into the bath with anticipation of what the next few hours might hold in stall for me. Suddenly an evil pain arises from the stomach region, like the devil is pounding my insides. Too busy thinking about the upcoming fun i'm about to recieve I ignore it.

The door opens, in walks my gf in the sexiest nightgown i've ever seen her in. Now filled with lust I lure her into the bath. Like the teasing manipulator she is she climbs into the other end of the bath, all the time rubbing my throbbing cock with her foot. She edges closer, and closer until she is right near me. Then with a sudden burst she jumps onto me........right on my stomach. With no warning liquid shit soons fills the bath, that scented shampoo is suddenly overtaking with the most vile smelling shit I have ever stunk in my life. My gf shoots out of the bathroom faster than an ethiopian chasing after a breadcrumb, while I lay there in disbelief at what just happened.

She's now my ex-gf

wow, if she wouldnt swim in your shit she wasnt worth it anyway.
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Old 03-15-2005, 12:24 AM King of Blades is offline  
#237  

Threnx
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smeg
This just happened a few days ago.

My gf was feeling a bit randy and whispered in my ear to go run a hot bath for us. Well I shot over to the bathroom like a dog on heat. While waiting for the bath to fill up I'm pacing up and down in excitement. Before long the bath is full, I pour some of her scented stuff in the bath and place a few candles around the edge of th bath.

Now standing naked in the bathroom I climb into the bath with anticipation of what the next few hours might hold in stall for me. Suddenly an evil pain arises from the stomach region, like the devil is pounding my insides. Too busy thinking about the upcoming fun i'm about to recieve I ignore it.

The door opens, in walks my gf in the sexiest nightgown i've ever seen her in. Now filled with lust I lure her into the bath. Like the teasing manipulator she is she climbs into the other end of the bath, all the time rubbing my throbbing cock with her foot. She edges closer, and closer until she is right near me. Then with a sudden burst she jumps onto me........right on my stomach. With no warning liquid shit soons fills the bath, that scented shampoo is suddenly overtaking with the most vile smelling shit I have ever stunk in my life. My gf shoots out of the bathroom faster than an ethiopian chasing after a breadcrumb, while I lay there in disbelief at what just happened.

She's now my ex-gf

lol no fucking way
Old 03-15-2005, 12:26 AM Threnx is offline  
#238  

wr3kt
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smeg
This just happened a few days ago.

My gf was feeling a bit randy and whispered in my ear to go run a hot bath for us. Well I shot over to the bathroom like a dog on heat. While waiting for the bath to fill up I'm pacing up and down in excitement. Before long the bath is full, I pour some of her scented stuff in the bath and place a few candles around the edge of th bath.

Now standing naked in the bathroom I climb into the bath with anticipation of what the next few hours might hold in stall for me. Suddenly an evil pain arises from the stomach region, like the devil is pounding my insides. Too busy thinking about the upcoming fun i'm about to recieve I ignore it.

The door opens, in walks my gf in the sexiest nightgown i've ever seen her in. Now filled with lust I lure her into the bath. Like the teasing manipulator she is she climbs into the other end of the bath, all the time rubbing my throbbing cock with her foot. She edges closer, and closer until she is right near me. Then with a sudden burst she jumps onto me........right on my stomach. With no warning liquid shit soons fills the bath, that scented shampoo is suddenly overtaking with the most vile smelling shit I have ever stunk in my life. My gf shoots out of the bathroom faster than an ethiopian chasing after a breadcrumb, while I lay there in disbelief at what just happened.

She's now my ex-gf



That sucks, dude...but if she got that huffy over something like that, she's an uptight bizatch.
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Old 03-15-2005, 12:27 AM wr3kt is offline  
#239  

Threnx
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wr3kt


That sucks, dude...but if she got that huffy over something like that, she's an uptight bizatch.

yeah, wait till she has a kid..."Ewww! Get that thing away from me, it's all slimy & gross!"
Old 03-15-2005, 12:28 AM Threnx is offline  
#240  

 


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