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MrMaN383
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tongboy View Post
she knows you're online too and obviously fairly actively chooses not to talk to you, or at least passively chooses to not talk to you - with all the methods of conversation afforded to us this day and age it's nay impossible to not talk to someone when you want to. let this one go quietly, don't let it bother you, she's choosing to foolishly pass you by and you should feel bad for her - not yourself, she's too foolish to see how great you are and is missing out on it, let her go and find someone more worthy of yourself

(sorry folks, that last part got a little too into the whole The Game thing but I think it's sound advice)

the last part was just blowing smoke up his ass. its not sound advice, it might as well be his mom telling him hes handsome.

Quote:
Originally Posted by wilse View Post
why does it hurt? its just some random girl you hooked up with once

why does it hurt? i think that is an important question for you to answer, because it shouldn't

it hurts because hes being rejected by a girl hes liked for a while. it hurts because he both feared and desired sex for the promise of pleasure but also the possibility of failure. tell him he shouldnt go chasing this girl or lurk around the bushes in front of her house but dont tell him it shouldnt hurt. thats a natural part of dating and people should deal with it honestly rather than sweeping it under the rug so they can retain their false air of confidence just like that book/forum/website told them.
Old 03-31-2009, 06:22 AM MrMaN383 is offline  
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Potato
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Originally Posted by MrMaN383 View Post
it hurts because hes being rejected by a girl hes liked for a while. it hurts because he both feared and desired sex for the promise of pleasure but also the possibility of failure. tell him he shouldnt go chasing this girl or lurk around the bushes in front of her house but dont tell him it shouldnt hurt. thats a natural part of dating and people should deal with it honestly rather than sweeping it under the rug so they can retain their false air of confidence just like that book/forum/website told them.

I guess that is what confuses me the most. Everyone here and my friends tell me to just let it go as if it was nothing. I feel like I am from another planet because I care so much. But I did really like this girl and with all that happening, I certainly thought it was the start of something.
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Old 03-31-2009, 06:27 AM Potato is offline  
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MrMaN383
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Originally Posted by Potato View Post
I guess that is what confuses me the most. Everyone here and my friends tell me to just let it go as if it was nothing. I feel like I am from another planet because I care so much. But I did really like this girl and with all that happening, I certainly thought it was the start of something.

letting go doesnt mean you care or dont care, how you feel isnt the issue. you should let go because theres nothing you can do, this is out of your control. she is going to do what she wants to do and theres nothing you can do about it. accept that, own that and move on. eventually what youre feeling will fade away and youll meet other girls you feel that way about.
Old 03-31-2009, 06:33 AM MrMaN383 is offline  
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#33  

wilse
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrMaN383 View Post
the last part was just blowing smoke up his ass. its not sound advice, it might as well be his mom telling him hes handsome.



it hurts because hes being rejected by a girl hes liked for a while. it hurts because he both feared and desired sex for the promise of pleasure but also the possibility of failure. tell him he shouldnt go chasing this girl or lurk around the bushes in front of her house but dont tell him it shouldnt hurt. thats a natural part of dating and people should deal with it honestly rather than sweeping it under the rug so they can retain their false air of confidence just like that book/forum/website told them.

i disagree
this was a one night stand - it shouldn't hurt
if it does, that means he needs to tweak his approach
potato's problem has always been that he places sex/girls on this insanely high pedestal, obsesses over them, and is strongly affected when things don't pan out
this is what prevents his success in the first place, so he needs to get over it
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Old 03-31-2009, 06:48 AM wilse is offline  
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Originally Posted by Potato View Post
I guess that is what confuses me the most. Everyone here and my friends tell me to just let it go as if it was nothing. I feel like I am from another planet because I care so much. But I did really like this girl and with all that happening, I certainly thought it was the start of something.

why do you care so much, though? you've never had a relationship with this girl
it was a one night stand
i think you are feeling some other kind of emotion/insecurity and confusing it with "caring so much" for this girl you just banged one night after a party
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Old 03-31-2009, 06:52 AM wilse is offline  
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MrMaN383
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wilse View Post
i disagree
this was a one night stand - it shouldn't hurt
if it does, that means he needs to tweak his approach
potato's problem has always been that he places sex/girls on this insanely high pedestal, obsesses over them, and is strongly affected when things don't pan out
this is what prevents his success in the first place, so he needs to get over it

that he falls for girls too easily is a different problem all together. rejection hurts and people who prefer to pretend that they are unaffected by rejection are the weakest frauds out there.
Old 03-31-2009, 06:57 AM MrMaN383 is offline  
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apextual
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wilse View Post
why do you care so much, though? you've never had a relationship with this girl
it was a one night stand
i think you are feeling some other kind of emotion/insecurity and confusing it with "caring so much" for this girl you just banged one night after a party

what part about potato being a candidate for post-virginity-loss "static cling" was not indicated by any of his previous posts? we all knew this was going to happen

spud, you just need to find another girl to bang. this one wasn't the one if she's ignoring the shit out of you. move along.
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Old 03-31-2009, 08:58 AM apextual is offline  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrMaN383 View Post
that he falls for girls too easily is a different problem all together. rejection hurts and people who prefer to pretend that they are unaffected by rejection are the weakest frauds out there.

i agree that rejection hurts
this wasn't rejection, it was a one night stand
so he shouldn't be hurt by it
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:05 AM wilse is offline  
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MrMaN383
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Originally Posted by wilse View Post
i agree that rejection hurts
this wasn't rejection, it was a one night stand
so he shouldn't be hurt by it

who are you to decide what is or isnt a one night stand? not only are you completely fucking up the meaning of the term (its one night, not one fuck) but he clearly was interested in continuing (again, kinda blows holes in your judgment huh?) to see her. the only reason he isnt speaking with her is because she rejected him. how you feel about someone has nothing to do with how many times youve fucked them. dont just be a dick because this potato kid is clingy and desperate.
Old 03-31-2009, 09:45 AM MrMaN383 is offline  
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Dongboy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wilse View Post
i agree that rejection hurts
this wasn't rejection, it was a one night stand
so he shouldn't be hurt by it

when you look at how he's built this girl up, crushed on her for a while and then finally - FINALLY slept with her it's easy to see how he's thought about her too much - invested too much too early and is hurt that she's now rejecting him.

it happens, it's part of growing up is learning when to be rejected and butt hurt and when to not be - this is one of those times where you should not have been so emotionally invested as to be hurt after a single night and no follow up
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:45 AM Dongboy is offline  
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#40  

Potato
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Yeah, the more I think about it and read through the advice, the more I understand that this really shouldn't be a big deal. It is one girl and I got something great out of it. I will be more ready for the next girl that comes along. I think what really intensified all this is I was sick in bed all last week so had nothing else to focus on. Now that I am back into the grind of things for both school and work, it is alot easier to get through the day.

Once again, thanks for the advice and help.
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Old 03-31-2009, 10:14 AM Potato is offline  
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#41  

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To quote the movie "The Wackness":

"I see the dopeness in everything, but you just see the wackness."

You gotta stop focusing on the negative stuff and focus on the good that came out of this. You just had great sex for the first time, and don't even have to deal with any nagging afterwards. That's fucking DOPE. Good job.

Don't completely dismiss mistakes and failures, learn from them, but don't make that the focus of your life. Remember that you've been successful as well, don't dismiss it! You got laid! Success!
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Old 04-01-2009, 06:12 AM Mono is offline  
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Potato
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mono View Post
To quote the movie "The Wackness":

"I see the dopeness in everything, but you just see the wackness."

You gotta stop focusing on the negative stuff and focus on the good that came out of this. You just had great sex for the first time, and don't even have to deal with any nagging afterwards. That's fucking DOPE. Good job.

Don't completely dismiss mistakes and failures, learn from them, but don't make that the focus of your life. Remember that you've been successful as well, don't dismiss it! You got laid! Success!

Yeah, that is what I am slowly realizing. Every time I hear of people's first time, they always said it was horrible and awkward. Mine was amazing and I made her cum which I hear isn't the easiest thing. I should be ecstatic.

One thing though is that I do agree about learning from our mistakes. However, with her completely cutting me off, I really don't know where I made my mistake. We were good the whole night, the sex was amazing, we went to sleep fine, woke up a little awkward but still fine, and thats the last I saw her. I really want to know if I did something wrong and that is sort of the reason I am so obsessed with this whole thing. Maybe I didn't make a mistake and it was just suppose to be a one night thing the whole time but I am not sure.
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Old 04-01-2009, 07:46 AM Potato is offline  
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Yeah, that is what I am slowly realizing. Every time I hear of people's first time, they always said it was horrible and awkward. Mine was amazing and I made her cum which I hear isn't the easiest thing. I should be ecstatic.

One thing though is that I do agree about learning from our mistakes. However, with her completely cutting me off, I really don't know where I made my mistake. We were good the whole night, the sex was amazing, we went to sleep fine, woke up a little awkward but still fine, and thats the last I saw her. I really want to know if I did something wrong and that is sort of the reason I am so obsessed with this whole thing. Maybe I didn't make a mistake and it was just suppose to be a one night thing the whole time but I am not sure.

you didn't make a mistake at all
a one night stand is just that - one night
don't think that hooking up with a girl at a party is the start of a beautiful relationship
if you had hounded this girl with texts/phone calls/followups - that would have been a mistake
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Old 04-01-2009, 07:54 AM wilse is offline  
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The majority of encounters like this are 1 night stands so don't cling. Congrats on losing the v card, just don't be that creepy guy. Smile, pat yourself on the back and keep on truckin'.

Stop clinging.

Word. You can't fall in love with every girl you have sex with. Rule.
Old 04-01-2009, 06:06 PM mainbrotha is offline  
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