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oleo
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here we go again...gf issues

the current state of my relationship with my girlfriend is still unknown. she broke my heart, i broke hers, yet we still call each other, kiss each other and are nice to each other in different ways. every time we see each other, one of us ends up crying...

i am going absolutely insane thinking about her. i went to visit her yesterday because she got food poisoning and we watched a movie and then went for a walk at the park. on the way home, a 1.5 hour drive for me, i just balled my eyes out like a baby and called her when i got home to tell her i missed her, but she had already gone to sleep. i had typed out this really long email to her, but after talking with my friend, i decided not to send it, i look like an unattractive baby who is needy and unstable....

i tell her i love her and want to be supportive. she said her love for me is unknown at this time. she needs time to think about it and she is going to visit friends in NY next weekend so she can think about it. i know she cares about me, but she wont tell me she loves me, i always initiate the kiss....

shes that i am lucky she doesn't have a bunch of friends around her, where she could find another guy...i try to be kind and work really hard to try to return to where things once were with us, but i don't even see it in sight. i made a lot of mistakes but i am trying to make it up to her...i just feel like i am at home when i am around her, but i feel like she is torturing me.

my attempt at going out and finding a hobby and meeting new people ends up with me drunk at the bar calling my girlfriend because i miss her and saying stupid shit.

what should i do? it can't really be over....why is she leading me on like this? does she see something left inside of me? we have been together for about 1yr 9months...her facebook status still says "in a relationship" with me...

someone please help me
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Old 04-05-2009, 12:53 PM oleo is offline  
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CharlieSheen
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It is over. You fought til the bitter end. Anything past this point is just dragging it out. It is up to you.


edit: dont look at her facebook. None of that shit matters. You have to go out and meet new people. If i recall you said you just moved and dont know anybody. I know that can be difficult, but you just gotta do it. Theres nothing wrong with you, you will meet people eventually. It's better than staying in an unhealthy relationship just because you think you dont want to be alone/cant handle a breakup.
Old 04-05-2009, 01:25 PM CharlieSheen is offline  
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apextual
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oleo View Post
the current state of my relationship with my girlfriend is still unknown. she broke my heart, i broke hers, yet we still call each other, kiss each other and are nice to each other in different ways. every time we see each other, one of us ends up crying...

i am going absolutely insane thinking about her. i went to visit her yesterday because she got food poisoning and we watched a movie and then went for a walk at the park. on the way home, a 1.5 hour drive for me, i just balled my eyes out like a baby and called her when i got home to tell her i missed her, but she had already gone to sleep. i had typed out this really long email to her, but after talking with my friend, i decided not to send it, i look like an unattractive baby who is needy and unstable....

i tell her i love her and want to be supportive. she said her love for me is unknown at this time. she needs time to think about it and she is going to visit friends in NY next weekend so she can think about it. i know she cares about me, but she wont tell me she loves me, i always initiate the kiss....

shes that i am lucky she doesn't have a bunch of friends around her, where she could find another guy...i try to be kind and work really hard to try to return to where things once were with us, but i don't even see it in sight. i made a lot of mistakes but i am trying to make it up to her...i just feel like i am at home when i am around her, but i feel like she is torturing me.

my attempt at going out and finding a hobby and meeting new people ends up with me drunk at the bar calling my girlfriend because i miss her and saying stupid shit.

what should i do? it can't really be over....why is she leading me on like this? does she see something left inside of me? we have been together for about 1yr 9months...her facebook status still says "in a relationship" with me...

someone please help me

for once, i'm going to go with what the masses will eventually tell you to do: stop contacting her. she doesn't know what she wants, she seems to be leading you on, and you're getting nothing but torture out of the deal. and, from my own experience, your relationship status is still the same on facebook because she doesn't want to be harassed by everyone and their mother about OMG WHAT HAPPENED, DID YOU AND OLEO BREAK UP?! move on. i know it sucks, but it's the reality of the situation.
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Old 04-05-2009, 01:25 PM apextual is offline  
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RazorWind
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by apextual View Post
for once, i'm going to go with what the masses will eventually tell you to do: stop contacting her. she doesn't know what she wants, she seems to be leading you on, and you're getting nothing but torture out of the deal. and, from my own experience, your relationship status is still the same on facebook because she doesn't want to be harassed by everyone and their mother about OMG WHAT HAPPENED, DID YOU AND OLEO BREAK UP?! move on. i know it sucks, but it's the reality of the situation.

Agreed.
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Old 04-05-2009, 01:33 PM RazorWind is offline  
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RiderOnTheStorm
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Golf(e) and apextual hit the nail on the head. Listen to their advice.
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Old 04-05-2009, 04:18 PM RiderOnTheStorm is offline  
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Blackstarx
 
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The more you encroachment on her "Free Will" the more she will detract from you. The crazy thing about love is that its never stable because of the universal Free Will that we all have to make our own decisions.

So I suggest you quit going out of your way to talk to her and give her the option to come to you. She will if she wants but your just pushing her away right now with how your acting.
Old 04-05-2009, 04:49 PM Blackstarx is offline  
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Electrikfuzz050
 
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If you show her that you're fine by yourself she'll be that much more attracted to you.
Old 04-05-2009, 05:18 PM Electrikfuzz050 is offline  
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:ninja:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oleo View Post
she said her love for me is unknown at this time. she needs time to think about it and she is going to visit friends in NY next weekend so she can think about it.

Although what she's saying sounds like complete BS, women do a fantastic job of getting themselves intentionally confused and overwhelmed.

Back off a bit and let her be alone. Once all this drama-rama she's wading in goes away, if she likes you then she'll tell you.

Bottom line is that the best thing you can do right now is absolutely nothing.
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Old 04-05-2009, 05:24 PM :ninja: is offline  
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#8  

Big C
 
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contacting her will not help the situation.

She will either

1) get back with you
2) Not get with you


When I broke up with my ex of 1.5 years, i blocked her on facebook, deleted her phone # and all text messages on my phone so I would not get drunk and call her or text her as I don't know her # off the top of my head.

If she really missed me and wanted me she would have called. I think you need to do the same as keeping contact with her will pressure and confuse her more. She needs time to think and make a decision, the more you struggle to hang on to her the more likely she will see you as needy and clingy.
Old 04-05-2009, 10:24 PM Big C is offline  
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#9  

FM 2347
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CharlieSheen View Post
It is over. You fought til the bitter end. Anything past this point is just dragging it out. It is up to you.


edit: dont look at her facebook. None of that shit matters. You have to go out and meet new people. If i recall you said you just moved and dont know anybody. I know that can be difficult, but you just gotta do it. Theres nothing wrong with you, you will meet people eventually. It's better than staying in an unhealthy relationship just because you think you dont want to be alone/cant handle a breakup.

This...


Quote:
Originally Posted by apextual View Post
for once, i'm going to go with what the masses will eventually tell you to do: stop contacting her. she doesn't know what she wants, she seems to be leading you on, and you're getting nothing but torture out of the deal. and, from my own experience, your relationship status is still the same on facebook because she doesn't want to be harassed by everyone and their mother about OMG WHAT HAPPENED, DID YOU AND OLEO BREAK UP?! move on. i know it sucks, but it's the reality of the situation.

...and this.
Old 04-05-2009, 10:27 PM FM 2347 is offline  
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#10  

huxley
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Nobody sits back and thinks about liking someone and goes 'eureka I am in love with this person!' anyone who ever needs a break or is 'undecided' is already decided but too cowardly to end things or want to keep things going for their own vanity or keep an emotional tampon around until they find the next person. Its been over you are just too blinded by the relationship to see it (sorry for being harsh but this is the truth).
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Old 04-06-2009, 12:04 AM huxley is offline  
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#11  

Cannondale
 
I've been there before.

Seems you both can't decide whether it is over or not. Do yourself a big favour and maintain your dignity and sever all contact. Don't talk to her or see her. Don't drink, I've done that and it is a bad bad idea.

You'll look back and think 'why didn't I do this sooner'?
Old 04-06-2009, 03:16 AM Cannondale is offline  
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oleo
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Thanks for everyone's kind words and support.
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Old 04-06-2009, 04:59 AM oleo is offline  
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n3rvzilla
 
Dude I'm in the same exact boat as you, and I know exactly how you feel. I'm currently in the process of doing the same thing... Best of luck man.
Old 04-06-2009, 02:49 PM n3rvzilla is offline  
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