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MaxSpeed
 
Hello everyone,

This is my first topic here in BC, and hopefuly this goes well. I'm not usually the type of person to talk about his problems on the internet, but this is bugging me a lot and I'm wondering if I could get any helpful advice.

I was brought up in a place where it's not socially acceptable for guys to be dating girls or have girlfriends. You like someone you ask them to marry you kind-of-a-thing. Anyways, Last year I started going to university and it was a completely different experience. Everything is going perfect, except with the ladies. I don't seem to know what do around girls. I know it sounds stupid, but I'm just not used to it I guess. I'm also kind of shy and I'm afraid what a girl might say if I say something that might be considered as flirting (that is, assuming I even knew what to say). The thing that's interesting, is that I don't drink alcohol. It's a personal issue and I stick with it. Therefore, whenever I'm at a bar/party/club, I always get the feeling that I might be "using" or "taking advantage" if the girl is drink while I'm fully sober...

I really don't know what to do. I never had a girlfriend before, but I really want to find a special person to share my time with. Someone to like, and perhaps love...

EDIT: Also, I believe I have a bad case of the "Nice Guy Syndrom".

Last edited by MaxSpeed; 07-03-2004 at 04:44 PM..
Old 07-03-2004, 04:38 PM MaxSpeed is offline  
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zoopnazi
no zoop for you
 
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You will make mistakes and sometimes say the wrong thing, but you have to work through it and learn fromt he mistakes and you will eventually build your confidence.

Unfortunately for you, you seem to be a few years behind on this and have a bit of a disadvantage, because at a college age girls typically except you to be comfortable around them.
Old 07-03-2004, 04:44 PM zoopnazi is offline  
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zoopnazi
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Another thought is that although a girlfriend is a nice thing to have, you may just need a really good companion, which will also be much easier to find.

There's no doubt a girlfriend will give you a better feeling of social success, but a best friend can help you achieve that as well.

Just a thought
Old 07-03-2004, 04:57 PM zoopnazi is offline  
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Carl Rove
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Why do people like you listen to me? You realized everything I say is a load of bullshit?
 
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If a girl is sober enough to walk straight and speak clearly, she is sober enough to decide how far she wants to go with a guy. If she says 'no' she means it. Bear these two things in mind and you won't push your luck too far with them.
Old 07-03-2004, 05:01 PM Carl Rove is offline  
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Angel Pie
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ok, dont worry about being flirty because single girls love to be flirted with. it sounds like you havent had a lot of experience with girls, but flirting is always flattering. But too much flirting is bad and might kinda scare them away, so you need to find a good balance.

Considering the bar/party/club atmosphere, you shouldnt be worried about "taking advantage" of them as long as you don't sleep with them knowing that they are drunk, and "no means no" is also always a good motto to follow and will keep you out of trouble.

Dont think about it too much, take it easy, always remember that girls are human and you should just talk to them like you would with any of your guy friends.

Goodluck
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Old 07-03-2004, 05:20 PM Angel Pie is offline  
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