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Pleb
 
Social bracket shift (v. friends)

Hi again BC, guess I need a bit of guidance once again. For anyone that remembers my previous thread I ended up working night-shift 30hrs a week and completing my education at the same time .

However life has thrown another curve-ball at me, this time it seems my "social bracket" is shifting. My current friends no longer call me out or invite me anywhere really, I have to kind of force my way in.

I'm turning 19 this year as are all my friends. They're all into clubbing and going to pubs and wasting a tonne of money on alcohol (drinks are very expensive at clubs and pubs here in Australia, about $10+ for one 350ml Jim Beam pre-mix).

I don't mind parties and I go with them and get drunk, etc as people my age are famous for , but my dislike of clubbing/pubbing seems have discouraged them from doing anything at all with me. I mean am I in the wrong for preferring a BBQ and pool day instead of getting maggoted at the clubs for the billionth time? Have I outgrown my friends or something? I'd talk to them about it but they really don't want to talk to me.

I'm finding I get along better with the more responsible people in the 'circle' too, the ones that have decent jobs and aren't stuck at a pizza shop with no license still.

Is this just a stage of maturity (or immaturity) giving me the raw end of the stick?

As a subnote, I find myself wanting to spend my time and money more constructively than I did in the past. Fixing up a bush basher, or making up a decent table or something for my TV to sit on, going paintballing or bowling (ok maybe that isn't so constructive), etc is just more appealing than going to a club and coming back with less brain cells and money than I started with... no one seems to share the same view on this unfortunately.
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Old 01-13-2010, 10:01 PM Pleb is offline  
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wilse
 
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you're growing up, congratulations
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Old 01-13-2010, 10:33 PM wilse is offline  
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yolo
 
so avoid them. Their business is their business apart from obvious exceptions. These people aren't your identity. Keep the good hobbies, there are a lot of people who get sucked into hellish lifestyles in the 18+ years.

People don't like being the minority though, so they do things that are social and cool, like pissing away money at bars with friends. You have total and complete choice of your behavior, not them.
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Old 01-13-2010, 10:51 PM yolo is offline  
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Pleb
 
I'm not sure if that last post is for or against me? heh.
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Old 01-14-2010, 07:18 AM Pleb is offline  
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Old 01-14-2010, 07:21 AM chuckybob is offline  
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Cannondale
 
'Maggoted' - I like that one very much.

You've grown up and realised getting drunk every weekend is not cool. Find new friends to enjoy your new hobbies with.
Old 01-14-2010, 07:25 AM Cannondale is offline  
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Pleb
 
Maggoted is a common way of describing getting drunk here.

"Gonna get maggot at leedy tonight hell dardz"

*palmface* No wonder why I hate clubbing.
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Old 01-14-2010, 08:28 AM Pleb is offline  
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Conna
 
It happens. You turn people down enough and they stop calling because they figure why bother, you won't come anyway. It's the same when guys get girlfriends and spend more time with them and less with their friends. And yes, it's natural to gravitate towards people who share your views on life and distance yourself from those who don't.
Old 01-14-2010, 09:07 AM Conna is offline  
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mainbrotha
 
So have a few drinks before the pub/club so you don't have to spend as much money if at all. Just don't drive.

Otherwise, start branching out.
Old 01-14-2010, 09:33 AM mainbrotha is offline  
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De7|ro|i7
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by yolo View Post
so avoid them. Their business is their business apart from obvious exceptions. These people aren't your identity. Keep the good hobbies, there are a lot of people who get sucked into hellish lifestyles in the 18+ years.

People don't like being the minority though, so they do things that are social and cool, like pissing away money at bars with friends. You have total and complete choice of your behavior, not them.



Yup. You are growing up and they don't want to. You will realize more as you age that most friends....aren't. Don't get too hung up and be true to yourself.
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:59 AM De7|ro|i7 is offline  
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Pigs
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Friends come and go, you'll get new friends from trying new things.

My advice is do what you want.
Old 01-14-2010, 10:28 AM Pigs is offline  
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#11  

Runding
 
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"Friends" really is a relative term. Your "friends" aren't really being "friendly", so why not just let them naturally drift away as you find new people to do things you enjoy with? This happens to everyone, especially at your age.

It seems like I'm really similar to you in your situation when I was ~18. I found new friends but a few years down the road the guys that were into that settled down a little and we hang out all the time.

Moral of the story: Don't worry about it, just find new people to hang out with if you don't like to go clubbing.
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Old 01-14-2010, 11:02 AM Runding is offline  
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Foolioq
 
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I had friends like that once, where I used to enjoy getting "maggoted" with them every weekend. I soon found it was far too often. Try going with them like once a month or something. I found its much more fun that way.
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:29 PM Foolioq is offline  
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ScumBag
 
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Get a girlfriend.
Old 01-14-2010, 04:03 PM ScumBag is offline  
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#14  

Slacker
 
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There comes a time when some of your friends grow up and others don't. Do you want to keep hanging out with losers who have no ambition in life beyond getting drunk each weekend? It seems like you already know the answer and are adjusting your life accordingly.
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Old 01-29-2010, 11:07 PM Slacker is offline  
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