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Coqui
 
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Originally Posted by Lurker View Post
I think Oleo is just uncomfortable with the fact that his friend potentially looks at him the same way he[oleo] looks at women.

I don't see why. I love how people instantly assume that because someone comes out to them, that it must mean they are attracted to them. Vanity is fun. I'm not saying that's what's happening in this case, but it's hilarious how often it does happen though.
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Old 05-18-2010, 11:29 AM Coqui is offline  
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I don't see why. I love how people instantly assume that because someone comes out to them, that it must mean they are attracted to them. Vanity is fun. I'm not saying that's what's happening in this case, but it's hilarious how often it does happen though.

IMHO when it comes to gauging the reason why someone said something, especially regarding sexual orientation, while drunk is going to be very difficult. Alcohol loosens the tongue, we all know that. But did he come out because he couldnt keep the secret under the influence or did he feel his friend should know because he is attracted to him? You just dont know in this case.

My last post wasnt to insinuate that his friend is automatically attracted to him because he came out. Just that Oleo might think that. I also want to add that he may feel differently around his friend knowing that by being gay his friend will have different thoughts and feeling about him and perhaps even some of things they do together.

What if for example, while being out Oleo made gay remarks or gay jokes around this guy? Now he has to face this friend and the jokes make it that much more awkward.
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Old 05-18-2010, 11:52 AM Lurker is offline  
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Coqui
 
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IMHO when it comes to gauging the reason why someone said something, especially regarding sexual orientation, while drunk is going to be very difficult. Alcohol loosens the tongue, we all know that. But did he come out because he couldnt keep the secret under the influence or did he feel his friend should know because he is attracted to him? You just dont know in this case.

My last post wasnt to insinuate that his friend is automatically attracted to him because he came out. Just that Oleo might think that. I also want to add that he may feel differently around his friend knowing that by being gay his friend will have different thoughts and feeling about him and perhaps even some of things they do together.

What if for example, while being out Oleo made gay remarks or gay jokes around this guy? Now he has to face this friend and the jokes make it that much more awkward.

I don't see what the problem is with it though. Just about every gay guy I know has said they wanted me.....I know I'm straight so I'm fine with them desiring me. They just need to realize it isn't going to happen.

And if the gay guy is still friends after the disparaging remarks/jokes, then it just means he's fine with the jokes. Otherwise, he wouldn't want to be friends and just let oleo know that the reason they can no longer be friends was because he was gay.
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Old 05-18-2010, 11:58 AM Coqui is offline  
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1. I agree with you, and it doesnt affect me either, but not everyone can handle it.

2. He may be tolerating it, but who really knows.
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Old 05-18-2010, 07:02 PM Lurker is offline  
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I had a friend who came out, it wasnt that surprising though, maybe a little bit. My first thoughts were "did he ever hit on me, does he like me in that gay way and does this make me awkward". Anyway, after a day I just realized that he was my friend and I needed to drop it, its weird how a friend saying they are gay can feel so personal to you. As everyone said, its not about you and it doesnt really matter unless he is trying to give you backrubs or some such nonsense.
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Old 05-18-2010, 10:04 PM huxley is offline  
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huxley
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I always lie to people I don't know and play along with their about "wow, is she hot or what?" I never go to clubs/strip clubs with people, so that avoids 99% of shit there. Still run into it though and buses and crap.

I know what I like inside, and that's what matters. I still find it pathetic though to have to hide it, least I get killed or beaten up real bad. That's why I consider religion on it to be a total farce. If I get stoned to death by the pope for being homosexual, it's okay. If I knee him in his balls and pop his head off his worthless body as he spouts anti homosexual rhetoric from a book that needs to be burned, it's suddenly a massive hate crime and i'm facing the death penalty. (replace the pop with any religious figure nowadays and you get the idea)

Damned if you do, Damned if you don't. There is still alot of hostility in the world even though many areas have become accepting. Still need to watch your back sadly...

accept him for what he is, and he probably isn't going to make a pass on you. Most try to be respectful of others boundaries, I know I certainly am. I always adopt a "he's straight" attitude towards them and hunt around to find out if they are gay/gay friendly in any way. It's like a very annoying game of chess, can take a while
I like how 'accepting' to you is them accepting your sexuality and you not accepting their religion...not only that but saying that their beliefs should be burned. You should think about why you are so angry. Christians arent interested in burning anyone. However, they do believe homosexuality to be a sin and like any sin they want to help the individual not commit the sin. Some people just think differently than you do and have different beliefs, you have to get over it.
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Old 05-18-2010, 10:10 PM huxley is offline  
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theNoid
 
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Working at Disneyland 10 years ago really desensitized me to any fear of homosexuality. Met and worked with some really cool people there, and it was great because being a single, straight male at that time was pretty rare so while I had to ask a few older gays to not grab my ass (no joke) I got free reign with all the ladies.

Nothing sells you better than when gay guys talk to girls about being attracted to you but not having a chance because you're straight. All you have to do then is just say "hello" to the poor girl and the rest is downhill

Wish I had more gay friends when I was single!
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Old 05-19-2010, 12:28 AM theNoid is offline  
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sir tex
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wilse View Post
how to get over it?
get over yourself
his decision to keep his sexual orientation to himself has nothing to do with you


Quote:
Originally Posted by Isuckatlife View Post
this

you should feel lucky that he's revealing more of himself to you, if you really consider him a friend you shouldn't be looking at the part that he hid this from you. you should see it as a step further in your friendship.

these two right here.
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Old 05-19-2010, 12:54 AM sir tex is offline  
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Phil Taylor
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my best friend at school, for 5 years, came out as gay when we finished. i never suspected it, either, and when i found out i was surprised since he always had more girlfriends than me.

think of it this way: it's a very personal thing that is still not totally accepted, so you can understand why he kept it to himself until he was ready to tell you. it's his business, at the end of the day, but since he shared it with you it shows that he trusts the friendship you guys have, right?

i've got a few gay friends and they're fun to be around and funny in a way that only gay me can be. plus, they're great for attracting women, as already said. in fact, i've got a bisexual friend who's pretty gay-acting and he's LETHAL with women. we can be in a bar and within 5 minutes 75% the girls are moving in to hang out with us. i've met so many girls through this guy, you wouldn't believe. they come over to make a gay friend and end up with a gay-looking lover, but that's a different story.
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Old 05-23-2010, 09:22 AM Phil Taylor is offline  
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