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Mono
 
Friend and Domestic Abuse

Hi all,

I've reconnected with a friend recently and we've hung out and kept in touch. I got a call and she told me that her brother is abusive and went out of control again. From what I could gather he didn't hurt her this time, but he's done it before and he's hurt her younger siblings as well. She's old enough to move out, but I don't think she's really able to do it comfortably yet (for financial reasons and family too I guess; I'm not really sure why) and she doesn't want to leave her siblings with him. I asked whether she tells her parents, but they sort of just dismiss it and tell her to stay away from him when he gets like that.

I remember her mentioning him hitting her years ago as well when we were classmates, but she didn't do anything about it, I thought it was just a one-time thing, and we didn't really hang out much either so I never got to really follow up. She's afraid that if she suggests that he go to anger management that he'll react the wrong way. I'm really concerned for her, but I'm stuck in a dilemma. I mean how far is going too far? I really want to just call the cops on this asshole, but then what if he gets locked up and then what happens when he gets out? Who will he target first? I also highly doubt her family will be pleased if that happens and she'll be ostracized (from what I can tell, family means a lot to her), and who will she have to blame that for?

After we were done chatting she was much calmer and felt relieved having talked to someone, but I think this may be a cry for help. I told her that this can't be ignored because it'll just get worse, but to be honest I don't really have an idea what to do. I really am concerned about her, I mean this guy held a knife to her face for fuck's sake. What the fuck? That ain't right.
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Old 06-27-2010, 09:29 PM Mono is offline  
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Forever Domon
 
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tough scenario, but if she cant get away, theres no option but to call the cops, and make sure a restraining order is filed after so he has to stay away. She has to document the shit out of anything he does, photos, times, etc.

She should do it though, not you.
Old 06-27-2010, 09:34 PM Forever Domon is offline  
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RiderOnTheStorm
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How pleased will her family be if one of the younger siblings gets knocked around and seriously hurt? She needs to go to the police next time it happens, and, like domon said, she needs to document everything as much as possible.

If family is that important to her, then she needs to make sure this shit ends.
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Old 06-27-2010, 11:33 PM RiderOnTheStorm is offline  
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Golf(e)
 
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Her having a serious talk with her parents might be a good first step, if not police.

How is it that her parents simply overlook this, anyway? Do they ignore it?
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Old 06-28-2010, 12:15 AM Golf(e) is offline  
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theNoid
 
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How are any self respecting parents not aware their son is beating/abusing all of their daughters? Something stinks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mono View Post
I mean this guy held a knife to her face for fuck's sake. What the fuck? That ain't right.

You're right its not so she should have called the police and not some old friend.
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Last edited by theNoid; 06-28-2010 at 03:00 PM..
Old 06-28-2010, 02:44 PM theNoid is offline  
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