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Bradd
I THOUGHT GOOGLE IS WHAT MY FATHER DOES TO ME EVERY NIGHT!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blue_monk View Post
... BTW, I plan to physically discipline my kids and there is nothing you can do about it.

Are you saying that when your kids do something wrong you'll have some sort of planned discipline ritual in which you physically strike your kids, attempting to beat them into acting a certain way? Do you honestly think that we as humans have to sink that low to teach our kids right from wrong?
Old 02-25-2008, 02:00 PM Bradd is offline  
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blue_monk
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradd View Post
Are you saying that when your kids do something wrong you'll have some sort of planned discipline ritual in which you physically strike your kids, attempting to beat them into acting a certain way? Do you honestly think that we as humans have to sink that low to teach our kids right from wrong?

getting off topic...

I believe you can spank your kids to discipline them when they are bad, accompanied with a conversation afterwards to explain that what they did is not acceptable, that their are consequences for their actions and to show them the correct way to behave. Americans have been doing this forever until recently because parents want to be friends with their kids rather than parents. It's much cooler to be friends with your kids rather than having them be afraid of you when they did something wrong and mom and dad are going to find out. It's pathetic that people look at others who physically discipline their kids like they are crazy, unreasonable, terrible people. "Sink that low?" What the hell is wrong with you? That's the way I was raised and many of my friends. We still joke about our dads running after us around the house with a belt snapping. *snap snap snap* I was an out of control kid. I turned out fine. Are you doing to be one of those parents in Walmart that just let your kids scream and cry and knock over everything while you just sit there and say "Please. No. Don't do that. Don't make me punish you non-physically."
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Old 02-25-2008, 02:31 PM blue_monk is offline  
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Old 02-25-2008, 02:36 PM blue_monk is offline  
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#18  

brwnmexican
 
well. today while at work i texted her asking if she was alright. we were supposed to go get an estimate about her car, but she said that she wasn't able to walk, so were going 2morrow. 2morrow is when i will get to see her bruises. and shes not the kind of girl to lie to get attention, she isn't that like. so 2morrow i will see her and post what i saw. thnx for the advice guys.
Old 02-25-2008, 04:48 PM brwnmexican is offline  
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red|dragon
 
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Originally Posted by brwnmexican View Post
well. today while at work i texted her asking if she was alright. we were supposed to go get an estimate about her car, but she said that she wasn't able to walk, so were going 2morrow. 2morrow is when i will get to see her bruises. and shes not the kind of girl to lie to get attention, she isn't that like. so 2morrow i will see her and post what i saw. thnx for the advice guys.

Watch your back man. If her dad is willing to hurt his daughter, he'll have no problem trying to hurt you if you interfere with anything.
Old 02-25-2008, 05:14 PM red|dragon is offline  
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#20  

Ontic
 
I didn't read what others posted, but from what you said, there is little information to be gathered - There could be a ton of varying factors in this situation, and neither we, nor yourself, have any idea what they are - If she is literally being "beaten" and not just smacked or shit as a disciplinary act, such as when my crazy italian mom used to beat my ass with a wooden spoon as a child, then the situation is beyond you - You're both 18 and limited in all your resources, and have heavy connections to your parents - Instead of seeing what YOU can do to help her, instead try to find out an outside source - a hotline number, social worker, police, teacher, etc - whomever it is, just make sure that it is OK with the girl first, and that ultimately, she needs to make the larger step in a direction towards helping her situation, because you cannot do it for her -
Old 02-25-2008, 05:32 PM Ontic is offline  
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#21  

brwnmexican
 
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Originally Posted by red|dragon View Post
Watch your back man. If her dad is willing to hurt his daughter, he'll have no problem trying to hurt you if you interfere with anything.

theres a difference between us, i can hit him back, she cant.
Old 02-25-2008, 06:25 PM brwnmexican is offline  
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#22  

BethComesFromAbove
 
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Originally Posted by brwnmexican View Post
well. today while at work i texted her asking if she was alright. we were supposed to go get an estimate about her car, but she said that she wasn't able to walk, so were going 2morrow. 2morrow is when i will get to see her bruises. and shes not the kind of girl to lie to get attention, she isn't that like. so 2morrow i will see her and post what i saw. thnx for the advice guys.

WTF? She can't walk? Just what in the hell happened to her?

If this is serious, you need to get an outside source of help. Don't deal with this by yourselves.
Old 02-25-2008, 06:43 PM BethComesFromAbove is offline  
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#23  

heymanooh1
 
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Originally Posted by brwnmexican View Post
So just last night at work, i get this text message from a really good friend who works there. (were both 18 and still live with our parents) "hey, can you keep a secret?" my reply, "yep, why whats up?" it took about an hour for her to respond back to my text. Anywho, so as soon as i go on my break, she sends me a text message saying something along the lines of. "I dented my car pretty bad today, and when i got home, i told my parents and they beat me". i was shocked. i asked her if she was fine, if she wanted me to leave work to come pick her up. she said no. i said ok and told her that i will always be here for her whenever she needed to talk. the next text message from her said "I've nvr told anyone about my abusive parents before, so its kind of hard to tell you". I then said, "you gotta find a way to get out of that house with those kind of parents". the thing is shes a full time student, who works part time with me making only 9.55 an hr. so she has no where to go. if i had room in my house i would tell her to stay in my home.

so my question it, how should i try and help her out. Im the kind of guy who is willing to to whatever i can to help her out. and has anyone ever had to deal with this kind of situation?

cliffs:
close friend text me that she was beat by her parents
close friend has nowhere to go and is a full time student at a JC
i want to help her out through this but cant really do much.
If you're friend was/is being abused, suggest to her to contact social services. Her school should have facilities available for this purpose as well as psychological services. Even though she's 18 and considered an adult, she may not have developed the maturity and/or coping mechanisms in dealing with such a situation.

Often times, children who are a product of an abusive environment tend to blame themselves and gradually progress into thinking they deserve the abuse. It takes professional intervention for them to realize they are not the problem but the abuser. That's why it's important for her to get professional help, support and counseling. That way your friend will have someone to guide her through the problems she's dealing with i.e., a person who will act as a surrogate parent.

Quote:
Originally Posted by brwnmexican View Post
theres a difference between us, i can hit him back, she cant.
No you can't. He can press charges against you for assault. You'll end up in jail and won't be in a position to help your friend. She needs all the support she can get at the moment. Don't get caught up his game. If you hit him back, you'll only exacerbate the situation and make it worse for your friend.

Last edited by heymanooh1; 02-25-2008 at 07:23 PM..
Old 02-25-2008, 07:20 PM heymanooh1 is offline  
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#24  

MrMaN383
Asshole Licking Douchebag
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brwnmexican View Post
theres a difference between us, i can hit him back, she cant.

why cant she?
Old 02-25-2008, 07:21 PM MrMaN383 is offline  
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#25  

Adidas > *
 
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Originally Posted by MrMaN383 View Post
why cant she?



OP needs to get some professional help.

I'm not saying this is the best idea, but when she (hopefully) moves out, can you lend her a couch to crash on or something? Does she have friends she can stay with?

Last edited by Adidas > *; 02-25-2008 at 08:54 PM..
Old 02-25-2008, 08:52 PM Adidas > * is offline  
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#26  

Rang3find3r
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this thread is a clusterfuck of poor advice and very ignorant opinions, it's clearly going nowhere
Old 02-25-2008, 09:52 PM Rang3find3r is offline  
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#27  

citizen_snips
 
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Originally Posted by Rang3find3r View Post
this thread is a clusterfuck of poor advice and very ignorant opinions, it's clearly going nowhere

qft...
Old 02-25-2008, 10:04 PM citizen_snips is offline  
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