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tmoney1876
 
Quick question...

What makes this girl your freaking unicorn? Why are you so self conscious of what is going on? This girl isn't one in a million, she is one OF a million. You don't even know if you are going to like her.

You need to change your mindset. If it doesn't work out with her... there will be others. You are actually ahead of the game at best and at worst you are even money. If you knew her, you might already be friendzoned. You don't know her and she doesn't know you, you can be confident and suave with the ladies if you want to. She doesn't know that you are shy, so don't be.
Old 01-19-2008, 02:15 AM tmoney1876 is offline  
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#46  

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larry burns
 
i need to know where i went wrong. it may seem really stupid for me to post all this here, but i really dont know where else to go for advice. heres how it went:

a couple weeks ago, i asked her to join me and my friend in the class to study and do HW problems together. the thing is, that friend of mine looks incredibly nerdy, hes 25 years old!!! but is smaller than me, and i'm already smaller than most college students

anyways, over the weekend, we had a midterm to study for so i asked her to join us and she agreed so she gave her number to me. but that friend of mine went home for the weekend even though he said he wouldnt!

i think here is where i really screwed up: i told her that he went home, but i asked her if she still wanted to study with me for the midterm. she made up an excuse on saturday night, but she agreed to study on sunday night, but only for a little since she had other HW for another class. when we studied, she had her roommate with her in the study lounge, so we studied until her roommate left, then she made up an excuse so that she didnt want to study anymore. she tried to appear as nice as possible, but i got the message

besides all this, i've seen her a few times eating lunch with her friends, but i hesitated and decided not to join her, was that the right move, since i think she wants to avoid me?
Old 02-23-2008, 12:04 AM larry burns is offline  
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#47  

Edgeraid
 
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Being a pussy is where you went wrong. Sack up and stop worrying about it. There is nothing special about that girl. She's just a person. Treat her like any other person. You're looking WAY too into it.

Move on. She's not into you and you fucked it up.
Old 02-23-2008, 12:21 AM Edgeraid is offline  
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#48  

larry burns
 
where did i exactly go wrong? i want to learn from my mistakes
Old 02-23-2008, 12:28 AM larry burns is offline  
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#49  

BuSH
 
Listen pal you think to much and you need to go watch 40 year old virgin for one scene in particular.

STOP PUTTING THE PUSSY ON A PEDISTAL.
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Old 02-23-2008, 04:11 AM BuSH is offline  
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#50  

FM 2347
I am offended by the world isajeep.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by larry burns View Post
i never get a chance to just sit next to her and talk to her - she keeps coming to class LATE!

i think i blew another chance to approach her though. she was studying in the courtyard and i recognized her as I was walking by. I thought she'd find it creepy if i just sat the chair in the table with her and talked with her again, she may not even recognize me! - so i may appear as a total stranger to her

I come to find out that if YOU find something you're doing creepy, SHE will find it creepy as well. That's the vibe you will put off. I still have fear when talking to new girls but I've come to realize that you can't plan out entire conversations because she's going to provide half the content. Girls will provide enough content to have a good conversation. Practice starting conversations with everyone you see.
Old 02-23-2008, 06:47 AM FM 2347 is offline  
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#51  

bigandy
 
You fucked up when you told her that your friend wasn't coming but asked her if she still wanted to study. That was like asking her: "do you like me enough to want to study alone with me?" straight up, you should have just told her your friend wouldn't be able to make it because he went home and gone with it.
Old 02-23-2008, 09:23 AM bigandy is offline  
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#52  

FM 2347
I am offended by the world isajeep.
 
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dude I feel anxious just reading your posts

<snip>

I feel the same way.
Old 02-23-2008, 09:42 AM FM 2347 is offline  
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#53  

theNoid
 
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but i wanna eventually ask her out for a date. but i assume thats not a good idea right away, since she doenst know me well enough

You don't get to know girls before you ask them out. This is when they friendzone you.

Ask her out first, and save yourself time.
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Old 02-23-2008, 09:57 AM theNoid is offline  
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#54  

theNoid
 
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where did i exactly go wrong? i want to learn from my mistakes

You thought this girl should be treated and approached different than one of your best friends. The day you realize how not to do this and just treat girls just like a friend is the day your luck will change.

They poop, and wipe their messy butt like the rest of 'em...
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Old 02-23-2008, 10:01 AM theNoid is offline  
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#55  

Totti
C'e Solo l'AS Roma!
 
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Some real life examples from the past week:

"Hey, sorry to bother you but I couldn't help but hear someone say the name "Bon Jovi""
Girl: "OMG I LOVE BON JOVI"
Me: "Are you going to the concert?"

... I got her #

Also at the club on Sat.

"Hey ladies, my friend and I want to actually show you a few dance moves"
Girls: go for it!

...I have a date on Wednesday

I say the most fucked up shit but it works
Old 02-25-2008, 10:22 PM Totti is offline  
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#56  

MachinegunHead
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Totti View Post
Some real life examples from the past week:

"Hey, sorry to bother you but I couldn't help but hear someone say the name "Bon Jovi""
Girl: "OMG I LOVE BON JOVI"
Me: "Are you going to the concert?"

... I got her #

Also at the club on Sat.

"Hey ladies, my friend and I want to actually show you a few dance moves"
Girls: go for it!

...I have a date on Wednesday

I say the most fucked up shit but it works

Second one is horrid.

Point is, as others said before, you went wrong because you acted like a pussy, besides your current situation isn't THAT bad. So she didn't want to be alone with you.Why would she do that? You probably creeped the fuck out of her. Your posts in this thread creep me out. I think you are brushing off nearly every piece of advice in this thread. You need to sit down and really think about what we are telling you. It seems like you are just thinking, "okay, I need confidence, and I need to stop putting her pussy on a pedestal. LETS GO". It isn't as easy as that. You need to figure out WHY you aren't confident, and you need to figure out WHY you are putting way too much thought into these girls.

You WONT get a girl at this rate because you care so much about the destination that you completely fuck up the journey. Don't set relationship goals and then try to plan a route to get there, this isn't backpacking in Taiwan it is called, 'getting to know a girl'. Just be comfortable with yourself, and don't expect anything. Also, as another pointer that I don't think anyone has picked up on, you sound as if you hesitate way too much. Hesitation = eventual failure. If you walk into a room, lock eyes with a girl, and then hesitate and go elsewhere, you'll most likely get a red cross by your name. In such a situation, you'd either briefly smile and go to where you were headed (and talk to her later), or you'd just B-line it for her straight away without stunting your stride.

Don't think so much about the first line either. Just walk up to a girl, and say whatever the hell pops into your head. If all you can force out is a 'hi', then don't worry. They'll ALWAYS say 'hi' back (unless you hit on deaf chicks) and by then you should be able to quickly grab another straw and throw a question at her, or point out something interesting.


To sorta follow on from Totti's lead, here are a couple of 'ice breakers' I used in the past week:

Me: *taps arm* "Hey"
Her: "uh, Hi"
Me: "Sorry, but you look really familiar, I just had to talk to you."
Her: "Actually, yeah, you look really familiar too. Where do I know you from?"
*banter*
*I get her number*
Profit

Me: "Hey, I've never seen you around here before. I'm [name]"
Her: "Oh hi, I'm [name], I'm friends with [another name]".
*conversation*
*I get her number*
Profit

The reason I hit profit on those two is because they were genuine and natural. Small situational things like those can easily turn into something more, as long as you don't think about it too much. The art is getting lost in the moment, and not thinking what will happen in the future, be it a year or a second. Commit your mind to the setting you exist in right now, instead of thinking, "okay, after I say this, she will most likely reply with this, what do I say?!", just listen and clear your mind such that points of conversation will freely flow into your mind.

Also, just for a laugh, another scenario from last Friday,

*Am at a concert dancing in a crowd and two girls come up next to me*
Me: "Watchout there is a shoe down there"
*They look down, then look back up at me *
*I laugh and then continue dancing with the people next to me*

Point is that I failed hardcore, but I shrugged it off because I didn't worry at all. I fail often, but I hardly ever see a girl again after I've failed on them, and if I do, I just smile, say hi, and keep walking. If there is anything awkward about that, it is their fault.
Old 02-26-2008, 07:20 AM MachinegunHead is offline  
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#57  

Saxman924
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MachinegunHead View Post
Second one is horrid.

Point is, as others said before, you went wrong because you acted like a pussy, besides your current situation isn't THAT bad. So she didn't want to be alone with you.Why would she do that? You probably creeped the fuck out of her. Your posts in this thread creep me out. I think you are brushing off nearly every piece of advice in this thread. You need to sit down and really think about what we are telling you. It seems like you are just thinking, "okay, I need confidence, and I need to stop putting her pussy on a pedestal. LETS GO". It isn't as easy as that. You need to figure out WHY you aren't confident, and you need to figure out WHY you are putting way too much thought into these girls.

You WONT get a girl at this rate because you care so much about the destination that you completely fuck up the journey. Don't set relationship goals and then try to plan a route to get there, this isn't backpacking in Taiwan it is called, 'getting to know a girl'. Just be comfortable with yourself, and don't expect anything. Also, as another pointer that I don't think anyone has picked up on, you sound as if you hesitate way too much. Hesitation = eventual failure. If you walk into a room, lock eyes with a girl, and then hesitate and go elsewhere, you'll most likely get a red cross by your name. In such a situation, you'd either briefly smile and go to where you were headed (and talk to her later), or you'd just B-line it for her straight away without stunting your stride.

Don't think so much about the first line either. Just walk up to a girl, and say whatever the hell pops into your head. If all you can force out is a 'hi', then don't worry. They'll ALWAYS say 'hi' back (unless you hit on deaf chicks) and by then you should be able to quickly grab another straw and throw a question at her, or point out something interesting.


To sorta follow on from Totti's lead, here are a couple of 'ice breakers' I used in the past week:

Me: *taps arm* "Hey"
Her: "uh, Hi"
Me: "Sorry, but you look really familiar, I just had to talk to you."
Her: "Actually, yeah, you look really familiar too. Where do I know you from?"
*banter*
*I get her number*
Profit

Me: "Hey, I've never seen you around here before. I'm [name]"
Her: "Oh hi, I'm [name], I'm friends with [another name]".
*conversation*
*I get her number*
Profit

The reason I hit profit on those two is because they were genuine and natural. Small situational things like those can easily turn into something more, as long as you don't think about it too much. The art is getting lost in the moment, and not thinking what will happen in the future, be it a year or a second. Commit your mind to the setting you exist in right now, instead of thinking, "okay, after I say this, she will most likely reply with this, what do I say?!", just listen and clear your mind such that points of conversation will freely flow into your mind.

Also, just for a laugh, another scenario from last Friday,

*Am at a concert dancing in a crowd and two girls come up next to me*
Me: "Watchout there is a shoe down there"
*They look down, then look back up at me *
*I laugh and then continue dancing with the people next to me*

Point is that I failed hardcore, but I shrugged it off because I didn't worry at all. I fail often, but I hardly ever see a girl again after I've failed on them, and if I do, I just smile, say hi, and keep walking. If there is anything awkward about that, it is their fault.

I have been doing similar stuff lately, just not as balls out as you.
Working pretty well. For the longest time I thought girls didn't seem into me because of
looks and what not. I have learned that is not the case - I go to the gym and dress well. It has really been my perceived lack of care that has kept girls at a distance. Realize, girls are just normal people and they usually have pretty low confidence deep down inside so you just have to chat them up like anyone else and play to their strengths and weaknesses.

Moral of the story, I did the above and landed a very attractive girl at a predominantly science and engineering school - a feat that I thought was unreachable for me last semester. I think people may remember my thread that I posted before. I just made the decision to do something about it this semester.

gl OP, there is excellent advise in this thread so take it and you will eventually see results.
Old 02-26-2008, 12:34 PM Saxman924 is offline  
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#58  

EesGood
 
I like to ask girls their opinion. That is always good..it can be about anything.

I literally went out last weekend and met girls using this one:

"excuse me, I wanted to get your opinion on something.

Is the gold in goldschlauger real?"

Horrible, but I got 2 numbers with that one.

I have done Star Wars or Star Trek

Nike or Puma.

Does this shirt make me look gay? No? I need one that does then.


I don't give a shit what I say half the time. Also, it is kind of fun to crash hard at first..it is like how a coach may call a running play for a QB to settle his nerves on the first snap.
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Old 02-26-2008, 02:08 PM EesGood is offline  
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#59  

Uncle Ruckus
 
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I don't give a shit what I say half the time. Also, it is kind of fun to crash hard at first..it is like how a coach may call a running play for a QB to settle his nerves on the first snap.

Just wanted to say that's a great attitude to have, wish I could be like that more often.
Old 02-26-2008, 03:34 PM Uncle Ruckus is offline  
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