General [M]ayhem

Go Back   General [M]ayhem > Real Time Sub-Forums > Bone Closet
Register Members List Mark Forums Read [M]erchandise Calendar

Reply
 
Thread Tools
tight
 
Another breakup thread...

Dear blogmay,
I figured these were always some of the more entertaining threads to read so I figured now that I am the one in this position, I'll contribute.


Background:
I am almost 19, shes a few months younger. We are both going into our sophomore year of college at the same school. We started dating in highschool and fell for each other, hard. She was my counterpart to everything - we had fun doing everything and loved eachothers' company.Slowly overtime, directly proportional to the lack of sex + increase in other small, trivial annoyances, things grew "normal". This entails all the baggage that comes with routine and normalcy - we would seem to bicker frequently etc etc but when it came down to it at the end of the day - we still loved each other more than anything. Lately we havent been getting along much at all. There wasnt, to my knowledge, any hostility except for petty nuisances and mistakes - no true distaste, once again to my knowledge, between us. We agreed that we needed to separate for a bit about 3 nights ago.

Random thoughts:
Although all of the problems on my end seemed to stem from lack of sex, I now realize after pondering these last few days that is not what I miss/dated her for. She was my best friend and the only person I could talk to, literally. Many of my other friendships arent even remotely as deep or meaningful or open as the one I shared with this girl. all I can think about the last few days (aside from the constant crying etc) is how I have lost a best friend, even moreso, a portion of myself. Alot of people will now pursue the "being codependent is a no-no" speech but I dont know. I dont feel like there is codependency. as I stated earlier I have no "need" for this girl. I am able to hang out with my friends and still enjoy myself (as much as someone can after breaking up a few days previously). She and I were just so close, it almost felt like we were the same person.

I am not in the mood for "soul searching" or establishing individuality or all that. I was single for up until I first started dating her when I was 17 and liked/like who I am now. Alot will probably remind me about how these are my "best years" and that I need to go out and explore etc but thats just never been my personality. I don't enjoy going out to meet a bunch of random people, I dont enjoy college parties and I don't really like the people at my school (all my friends go to other colleges or were already in the area before I started attending my college).

note: I am willing to take time off from our relationship- even see other girls if it boils down to it, I would just prefer to keep this gem =/

I realize that our relationship does need some time off (even if its solely for her sake to gain her individuality etc, which it probably isnt) but I feel like her and I differ so much on our current situation. We spoke today since we never really had a goodbye - I just wanted to get my feelings out on the table. It just feels like its all over. I dont think she feels the same way about me anymore. I know that she still loves me and cares about me but I feel like my sadness and deep care/love for her have been unrequited in the last few days. She took my virginity and we grew as individuals together throughout our late highschool/early college time yet she doesnt seem anywhere nearly shocked by the situation as I am.

Anyways I was wondering what your guys', from what I have given you/the questions im sure you guys will think of, 2 cents were. I realize its unhealthy to make empty promises to myself that I am going to end up with this girl forever - this is the real world yet I feel like its foolish and a poor decision to just watch what we had just dissapear.

Cliffs:
-broke up with 2 year gf
-feel like she is detatched from our "relationship" (whatever that means right now...)
-been bummed for a few days now and just looking for a vent
-suggestions/comments?

Last edited by tight; 07-27-2008 at 02:09 AM..
Old 07-27-2008, 02:02 AM tight is offline  
Reply With Quote
#1  

Advertisement [Remove Advertisement]

[H]oward_o[H]
 
actually dude, my girl that ive been seeing for about 2 years broke up with me tonight, it didnt hit me yet, i dont think.
But yea, I almost know how you feel. Most of what you said is similar of what i went through as well. I am just starting College.
More fish in the sea right? I'd say just give it time, roam around planting seeds but at the same time be in contact with your girl closely too.
Time will either show you[us] she was the right girl and no one will be like her or that a better girl comes along yada yada yada.
Old 07-27-2008, 03:35 AM  
Reply With Quote
#2  

PrettyInPink
 
First let me say I understand the feeling of losing a best friend when a relationship ends. I think any serious breakup leaves one, if not both, parties feeling that way.

You do need to date other girls and experience other things. Even experiencing college as a single person is good. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 1/2 years now but we broke up last year for about 3-4 months. At the time we had no intentions of getting back together, it just happened. In those 3-4 months we both went out, hooked up, dated around, and just enjoyed the single life in college. Eventually we both realized that while all that was fun, it wasn't as fun as being with each other. I don't know if that is what will happen in your case or not and I dont want to give you false hope. I'm just saying that try to make the best of what you have now and if you end up together again then you do, and if you dont then you don't. Just try to believe that there is a reason for being with her or not. Hey, perhaps you'll find the true love of your life this time around and look back at all this and laugh.
Old 07-27-2008, 08:21 AM PrettyInPink is offline  
Reply With Quote
#3  

tight
 
Thanks for the replies. Problem is the majority of people in my classes (still in GE and what not) are fucking idiots/extremely annoying. SDSU ... I know its a copout since there are obviously a plethora of amazingly attractive girls with good personality in San Diego, but I just never was the type to enjoy doing the whole plant my seed thing. Anyways I guess ill just ride out it out and see what happens...
Old 07-27-2008, 03:40 PM tight is offline  
Reply With Quote
#4  

PrettyInPink
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tight View Post
Thanks for the replies. Problem is the majority of people in my classes (still in GE and what not) are fucking idiots/extremely annoying.

I met my boyfriend through a mutual friend. My roommate met her boyfriend through a mutual friend. Neither of us went to the same school as our boyfriends. You can find a gf who isn't in your classes or even at your school
Old 07-27-2008, 03:46 PM PrettyInPink is offline  
Reply With Quote
#5  

WILLIAM NOT
theLiberator
"I hate my hair in these anigifs, I'm glad I'm shooting myself in the head in at least one of them f
 
WILLIAM NOT's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tight View Post
Thanks for the replies. Problem is the majority of people in my classes (still in GE and what not) are fucking idiots/extremely annoying. SDSU ... I know its a copout since there are obviously a plethora of amazingly attractive girls with good personality in San Diego, but I just never was the type to enjoy doing the whole plant my seed thing. Anyways I guess ill just ride out it out and see what happens...
Just because you go to a not-as-prestigious school doesn't mean you won't find someone that's date-able in something that's more than just a poke-and-run.

It took me 3 years at my school, but I did it.
__________________
Heinrich the Korean-American Spelling Nazi of the Grammar Nazi Association
R.O.A.D.H.E.A.D. 12/07/05

Major: Physics, Minor: Chemistry, Life: Non-existant
Old 07-27-2008, 03:53 PM WILLIAM NOT is offline  
Reply With Quote
#6  

Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:14 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.