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kristopher
 
didnt work out for me. and all the relationships i've been in since i joined havent worked out. getting deployed is just as tough on both sides of the relationship, and most of the time harder for the non-military side to understand.

but just because it didnt work out for me, does not mean it wont work out for you. i've known a few people that have kept relationships throughout their time in the military, but i know more people where the relationships didn't work out.

welcome to the military and good luck with wherever it may take you.
Old 07-18-2008, 01:50 AM kristopher is offline  
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khergan
I make Bryant Gumbel look like Malcom X
 
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I've been active duty army for four years now (getting out soon whoohooo!) and I have rarely seen military long distance relationships work out as expected. Think of it this way... either you have to have a extremely strong commitment on both ends, in which case you should just get married, or it won't work.

You will be challenged and busy most of your time. You'll be far away, field training oftentimes and almost guaranteed to be deployed. You're going to meet other girls, the friends you meet in the military will want to go out on the town and unless you really really work on it, you'll just grow apart naturally.

Trust me man, I've seen 10+ year marriages break up in the military, countless new marriages and girlfriends are daily casualties. So I'd either marry her if you like her that damn much or just call it. It's not fair to either of you, IMO.
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Old 07-19-2008, 10:31 PM khergan is offline  
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darnnit2
 
Not to thread hijack, but I was wondering what your guys' experiences were in dealing with the uncertainty of knowing where you'll be stationed and then the extensive time for training and its effect on personal relationships, friendships, etc.

Background: Just graduated from law school here in DC and have been selected for Air Force JAG. I won't know where I'll be stationed until late Oct. or early Nov. Also, I'll be in training, regardless of where I'm eventually stationed, from January to April down in Montgomery, AL.
Old 07-20-2008, 07:09 AM darnnit2 is offline  
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Chadwick
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darnnit2 View Post
Not to thread hijack, but I was wondering what your guys' experiences were in dealing with the uncertainty of knowing where you'll be stationed and then the extensive time for training and its effect on personal relationships, friendships, etc.

Background: Just graduated from law school here in DC and have been selected for Air Force JAG. I won't know where I'll be stationed until late Oct. or early Nov. Also, I'll be in training, regardless of where I'm eventually stationed, from January to April down in Montgomery, AL.
for this question, it sucks. Im 3 1/2 years in and finishing my second tour in iraq and it takes alot of work as far as relationships go of any kind. I wouldn't say that I have lost friends but there have been many that I have drifted apart from. I still have my core group that I have been friends with most of my life that I call as often as I can and see when Im on leave.

As far as personal relationships go they take alot of work to keep up with. Im from Oregon and have been stationed in North Carolina for my whole enlistment and being stuck in a marine town really sucks for visiting. I have had 2 long distance relationships that lasted for more than six months that eventually just ended because we drifted apart/werent seeing one another/deployments too stressful/etc... but I have a few (and they are the vast minority) friends that have kept things going with their respective girlfriends but it takes them a ridiculous amount of work. but i suppose if you both want it bad enough you can make anything work. hope that helps
Old 07-20-2008, 10:10 PM Chadwick is offline  
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Spoiled
 
Thanks for all the input... Looks like i may have a rough road ahead, either way no sense in ending a good thing.
Old 07-20-2008, 11:17 PM Spoiled is offline  
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