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Holy god this thread is hilarious.
Your Quantum Mechanics, Relativity, and Superstring Theory superman..
Old 03-14-2005, 05:53 PM bluechip is offline  

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Aldaris's Avatar
Originally Posted by malamute face

aldaris i like your g.i. joe quote
wow, just caught this post. thanks <3 Fensler Films GI-Joe spinoffs
Old 03-14-2005, 05:57 PM Aldaris is offline  

VanFanel's Avatar
I think the most hilarious thing that happened to me was back when I was about 6-7 years old. Back then we lived at an apartment building, and just got to the building from school. Normally, either my grandfolks or my folks would be home to let me in (it was one of those buzzer entrances), but apperantly that fateful day, no one was home... I had no key.... I had to shit, really really bad.

Sooo.... off to the front lawn I go, take a massive dump... then to be curteous I go back to the front of the building where there is a bigass plant with huge leaves, rip two leaves off, use one to wipe myself... and the other to cover up the poop.

Mind you, while I was shitting people were passing by - giving me the oddest looks ever
Das Auto.
Old 03-14-2005, 06:18 PM VanFanel is offline  

contrad1ktion's Avatar

im at school taking a shit.

never taking a shit at school again.

edit: i'll tell the story now

I'm at school...and it's first period. i need to take a shit bad...i have no idea why i need to shit in the morning, but i have to go.

so i go to the newest bathrooms in the school. these have doors, locks on the doors, and nice clean toilets. i wipe everything clean, put the paper cover on, and begin my business...

im shittin some nice sized turds when i hear a big guy stomp in. Ok, so i'm shitting and some fatass walks in...stupidly enough, he walks up to my stall thinking it's empty, slams the door the wrong way, and breaks the lock.

as he takes one step in, i start cussing him out with my pants at my ankles....fucking fat indian fag.... he leaves, doesnt even do his business, and goes bye bye. even now, that door is still fucked up.
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Last edited by contrad1ktion; 03-14-2005 at 10:55 PM..
Old 03-14-2005, 06:18 PM contrad1ktion is offline  

Suicide King
Suicide King's Avatar
Originally Posted by contrad1ktion

im at school taking a shit.

never taking a shit at school again.
the stalls at my school don't even have fucking doors
sneetch is my justly abused adopted monthly check.
Old 03-14-2005, 06:23 PM Suicide King is offline  

I fucked Terry Schiavo and all I got was this title (and her food rations for the day)
neonfish07's Avatar
Originally Posted by contrad1ktion

im at school taking a shit.

never taking a shit at school again.
Old 03-14-2005, 06:27 PM neonfish07 is offline  

Originally Posted by Baloneyflaps
*gerBLUNK* *GraaaarrrrRRRRRRR* *bubbleGLORG*.

A+++ sound effects
Old 03-14-2005, 06:43 PM Retardedchicken is offline  

When I was 18ish I was walking home with a friend of mine... I felt the urge.. figured I could hold it for the 15 or so minutes walk until I got to my place.. 3 blocks from my house I know it's coming, I feel light headed and I know I have to vacate the bowels.. I run up into someones yard (I figured it was an unused area of someones house) and got my pants down as i started to shit.. half of it ended up in my pants and the other half all over the welcome mat of someones basement apartment.. woops.. right outside their door... my friend was busting a gut on the sidewalk.. .I tied my jacket around my waist and jogged home.. cut through the neighbours yard and headed up to the bathroom to shower.. my friend came in and told my mom.. all I could hear was their hysterical laughter..

ahh good times, haha
Junco hyemalis
Old 03-14-2005, 06:49 PM Ayres is offline  

corrosive23's Avatar
When I was about 13-14 my friend, his little brother and I were walking back to his house from the grocery store when his brother starts whining about having to shit, so he gives him the keys and tells him to run and go then. It takes like 10 minutes to get there and we go upstairs. IT REEKS OF SHIT. We open the bathroom door which is ajar and shit is EVERYHWERE. He had pushed his pants down and shot shit all over the wall, shower door, and toilet.
Stop posting those now or I will hack your server or maybe sue you. I am a
hacker and have elite hacker friends. My dad is also a lawyer.
Old 03-14-2005, 06:50 PM corrosive23 is offline  

moar poop disasters! only until the flow of poop disasters has stopped shall this thread be vaulted!

mods willing
Teachers definitely do not teach counter-strike.
Old 03-14-2005, 06:55 PM Thantos is offline  

my title sucks i need a new one.
yoda634's Avatar
A bunch of friends and I got bored one night. We went up to this rich neighborhood, (homes starting in the upper 400's) and decided to drive around looking for open garages to steal stuff out of. So, there were like 6 of us, and we all piled into this one kid's truck, because the only other vehicle of choice was an M3, and that wasn't the most practical vehicle of choice for this excursion. So we pull up to this one house, the two kids in the bed jump out, grab a motorized scooter out of the garage and haul ass back to the truck. We stop somewhere and play around with the scooter for a while, then my friend (who had the M3) said that he needed to take a shit, so we should go get his car and head back to his house. So, we all get back in the truck and he's in the bed. Now, this neighborhood is huge, it takes us about 20 minutes to get back to where we left the M3. He keeps saying shit like "hurry up, Matt, I've really got to take a dump," so we're flying through the neighborhood at like 45-50 (it's the middle of the night, no traffic) trying to get him to his car so he can get home and shit. All of a sudden, BAM, we hit a fucking speedbump, get airborne in a goddamn full-size Chevy pickup, and then we hear Kevin in the back go "UGGHHHH". We didn't fully realize the gravity of the situation until about 30 seconds later we smell shit. We all started laughing, and closed the windows between the cab and the bed so we wouldn't smell him anymore.

Disclaimer: This was long ago. I was stupider then. I don't do shit like steal out of garages any more. Actually, I never did, but I'm smart enough now not to hang around with people who do.
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Old 03-14-2005, 06:55 PM yoda634 is offline  

Fear my nazi SuparMod powers!
stapler's Avatar
Originally Posted by Thantos
moar poop disasters! only until the flow of poop disasters has stopped shall this thread be vaulted!

mods willing

this mod's willing
Old 03-14-2005, 06:58 PM stapler is offline  

I play Soldat all day long. I love it. The only thing I love more than playing Soldat is to suck on
oh my god fucking VALUT
Old 03-14-2005, 07:04 PM Misfitted_Mecha is offline  

Originally Posted by stapler
this mod's willing
You are too kind.
Old 03-14-2005, 07:05 PM Gabbo is offline  

1. riding bike home from walgreens
2. decide to stand on bike like this :
3. comes out of nowhere
4. ...
5. no profit

(true story)

(also happend on the phone, my bladder hates me)
Old 03-14-2005, 07:15 PM M1k3 is offline  


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