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i coldn't even choose a good name how could i choose my own title?
Best thread in a long time.
Old 03-14-2005, 09:40 PM gthesob is offline  

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Tupat Liquor
is TubBoy in this thread because he should be
freedom means freedom from surveillance
Old 03-14-2005, 09:47 PM Tupat Liquor is offline  

PHiL!'s Avatar
Originally Posted by Tupat Liquor
is TubBoy in this thread because he should be

yeah, but with him, it's not really a disaster, now is it?

Old 03-14-2005, 09:52 PM PHiL! is offline  

This thread delivers!

Old 03-14-2005, 09:53 PM willy_ph is offline  

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Originally Posted by PHiL!
yeah, but with him, it's not really a disaster, now is it?

for his roomate it was

Old 03-14-2005, 09:54 PM Threnx is offline  

Hello, my name is 14K!!1

The USS Excelsior Crew - I am fucking Q!
Old 03-14-2005, 09:57 PM Malmhead is offline  

icw@ter's Avatar
this thread is great
Q2 of the USS Excelsior Crew
Old 03-14-2005, 10:03 PM icw@ter is offline  

Fear my nazi SuparMod powers!
stapler's Avatar
Originally Posted by L33T_h4x0r_d00d
I used to work at Kids World which is what you get when a Toys R Us fucks a Kids R Us. Its toys and clothes and a huge fucking place. If you opened the store they had a morning meeting 15 minutes before they unlocked the doors. Everyone met at the big fucking geoffry the giraffe picture at the front of the store. So everyones standing there and I'm kind of standing off to the side. I dont know what I ate beforehand but whatever it was, it had developed into an adult shit weasel ready to burst from my ass and eat jason lee's hand. All I knew of this sinister was the slight gurgling and uneasy feeling I had in my abdomen. As the meeting went on the uneasyness grew into pain which grew into searing pain until the feeling of climax hit me as

I had to fart.

I slowly took a step back away from the circle of fellow 16 year olds and did the shifty eye'ed dog look back and forth. I eased open my butt cheeks to allow for a test fart to see if it was going to be horrifically stinky. The sound that came out of my ass can only be likened to squeezing an entire bottle of ketchup out with one violent squeeze. My eyes grew wide as I quickly looked too and fro to see if anyone else heard. I took another slow step back. There was little I could do but quickly melt into the baby pajamas that lay behind geoffrys grim visage.

As soon as I was out of sight I ran like retard on cookie day to the closest restroom. As I got there I blasted open a stall door and promptly began to let the hot, acrid oatmeal pour from my now abused ass. It seems to never stop. The underwear I had on was ruined but it had jumped on the perverbial grenade for my pants. While still shitting I removed my pants and my underwear and wrapped them in toilet paper and set them on the floor. It must have taken me an hour and 46 flushes to clean the babyfood from my ass. I remember being physically tired and at this point sweating.

I deposited my used undergarments in the trashcan and exited the restroom feeling born again. That was quickly dismissed with another bowel spasm. What could I do? I was going commando at this point, my shields were down. If I had another attack I would certainly sustain damage to the aft jeans. I had to procure some protection. Being that this was a kidsworld, they had clothes as well as toys. Off to the boys department to see what kind protection I could dig up.

Now I was about 16. Being that I wasnt a "boy" anymore my waist size was around 34. I wore size 34 jeans and size 34 drawers. It seems that you are no longer a "boy" when your waist size eclipses size 16 since thats all they had. Also you really cant be seen in your place of employment at the age of 16 buying size 16 gi joe underoos so that meant I had to steal them. Under my arm they went and back to the restroom I jaunted.

I cant really describe the look of a 16 year old in size 16 gi joes underoos. I also cant describe the feeling you get being a size 34 in size 16 underoos. Id have to imagine its similar to what it feels like for a chihuahua to be fucked by a horse. Tight.

the best part about this thread is the narration

by far

this is so valuted
Old 03-14-2005, 10:09 PM stapler is offline  

What would Raptor Jesus do?
Old 03-14-2005, 10:10 PM evildre is offline  

Originally Posted by stapler
the best part about this thread is the narration

by far

this is so valuted

QFT, there is some fucking funny shit in here (literally).
Old 03-14-2005, 10:10 PM spudboy is offline  


Last edited by antishatter; 03-14-2005 at 10:18 PM..
Old 03-14-2005, 10:14 PM anusplugger is offline  

awesome thread
"what did you bring me?"
"the same thing you got me for my birthday, fuck all"

Deported? That's just another word for a free ticket home!
Old 03-14-2005, 10:38 PM Roxy is offline  

Buddhist Fag
I once found out that I had been using the asian squatting toliets backwards for 6 months... I still can;t use them the right way
Old 03-14-2005, 10:41 PM Buddhist Fag is offline  

contrad1ktion's Avatar
Originally Posted by neonfish07

no not sanjay. if it was him, id move to another toilet seat and let him have the warm one oh god of genmay shitters.

Originally Posted by SuicideKing
the stalls at my school don't even have fucking doors

yeah i was in the brand new portables...nice bathroom there the rest of the school doesnt have doors either...

edit: oh yeah....this ...shit...better be vaulted
0131f4078436ea43f7660eb4f4f30ee3 [y yuo throw haet :( :(] porn may <3's yuo.
Old 03-14-2005, 10:56 PM contrad1ktion is offline  

I remember I had just hopped on a stationary bike at the gym once. About 8 minutes into my "ride" I thought I was going to explode. I jumped off the bike ran like a little bitch to the fucking bathroom and let loose a monstrous, loud, putrid shit ... sitting back on the bike after finishing my business felt a bit different Ever since then I shit before I go to the gym, and I use the ellipticals instead of the bikes
What would Raptor Jesus do?
Old 03-14-2005, 11:00 PM evildre is offline  


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