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Stanch
 
I think this thread and 1999's sentiments have veered too far in an unchivalrous direction; had I not believed they would do just that from the very start, I would have risked putting the OP in contact with a woman OBGYN of my wife's acquaintance who has never had a boyfriend or sex with anyone. Last I heard, anyway.

Better luck next time?
Old 06-24-2009, 11:30 PM Stanch is offline  
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1999
 
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Originally Posted by Stanch View Post
I think this thread and 1999's sentiments have veered too far in an unchivalrous direction; had I not believed they would do just that from the very start, I would have risked putting the OP in contact with a woman OBGYN of my wife's acquaintance who has never had a boyfriend or sex with anyone. Last I heard, anyway.

Better luck next time?

Wait what? What's the point of even telling me this?

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Originally Posted by mainbrotha View Post
I'm saying that the way you exert yourself to females probably screams "i want a girlfriend", and in the way that they don't find attractive. You have to make it seem like you're getting along just fine without a "better half."

Probably. You're right.

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Originally Posted by jaredballer View Post
Being short and unfunny doesn't really have anything to do with it to be honest.

I am pretty tall, hit the gym a lot and I am the funniest guy in my major by most people's standards.

Yet I am 20 and never kissed a girl, so those traits don't have shit to do with it.

Nah, don't be like me. I'm actually depressed and sometimes suicidal. Girls actually like taller guys so you'll at least be able to get dates if you put yourself out there. Try online dating.



So how upset should I be about this?

If your female friend, who you have flirted with on and off but nothing really came of it, has a birthday party that they don't invite you to, are you in any position to feel slighted? I had actually forgot it was her birthday until something one of her friends (a guy I suspect she might be seeing now - she certainly prefers hanging out with him over me) wrote on her FB wall popped up on my news feed. At first I was like, "it was your birthday? Fuck! I forgot!" but that quickly turned to, "hold up, she didn't even bother to invite me to her birthday party!"

I don't know how to feel about this. On one hand I'm thinking, that was a lame thing to do regardless of what did (or didn't) happen between us, but on the other hand I'm also thinking, well I didn't even remember that it was her birthday to begin with and if she'd rather hang out with with this guy...

I guess the best way to describe what I'm feeling is something more along the lines of "why not me?" I want to know why she would choose this guy over me.
Old 06-25-2009, 01:58 AM 1999 is offline  
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Golf(e)
 
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requesting of OP
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Old 06-25-2009, 02:31 AM Golf(e) is offline  
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#48  

1999
 
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requesting of OP

I'd love to oblige but that would automatically forfeit my privacy.

Here's what you should know about how I look though.

I look young for my age.
I have a smooth complexion.
I am short (5'5").
I have short hair that I sometimes wear in a [fake] mohawk.
I usually have a bit of stubble showing on my face or a light beard.
I have brown eyes.
Subtle features but my lips stand out.
Both my ears are pierced (plugs).
Smallish frame but I have the build of a track and field runner or soccer player.
I weigh around 130lbs.
I sometimes wear glasses.
I dress well for the most part.
Old 06-25-2009, 06:59 AM 1999 is offline  
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1999
 
Ugh. I'm so tired of being such a little bitch. I just want to kick my own ass and scream at my self to get it together. I'm not even talking about girls specifically. I need to stop taking myself so seriously and stop being such an emotional bitch.
Old 06-25-2009, 11:00 AM 1999 is offline  
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Great Tiger
 
You need play the videos of Bob Proctor's Born Rich. I can 100% guarantee it will change you in ways you would never have thought of.
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Old 06-25-2009, 12:14 PM Great Tiger is offline  
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jaredballer
 
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Originally Posted by 1999 View Post
Nah, don't be like me. I'm actually depressed and sometimes suicidal. Girls actually like taller guys so you'll at least be able to get dates if you put yourself out there. Try online dating.

1) Bullshit
2) You make so many excuses, I know plenty of guys who are short and small with ladies, and some fine ladies at that.
3) Tall doesn't mean shit, build doesn't mean shit either. Stop trying to think that if you were taller or more built it would have an affect. It would not, I guarantee it.
4) Why are you depressed and suicidal? People are not going to judge you just because you aren't fucking. It can be frustrating but you will find someone someday. If you were sitting under a rock and not doing shit about it, then I would say you will never find someone. But it seems like you are giving yourself a try. I can't tell you when or where because I am not Nostradamus. If you commit suicide, you won't find a girl. PERIOD. And being depressed takes you places you don't want to go. I was depressed the first 2 years of college, it sucked. I would never go through that again. There are HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS of women in the world who are single RIGHT NOW. And even if 1 in a million finds you attractive in someway, that's hundreds of women who will date you. Keep trying, you will find a gold mine, hopefully soon.
5) I would fuck a goat before I tried online dating, btw. Lol
Old 06-25-2009, 01:42 PM jaredballer is offline  
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5) I would fuck a goat before I tried online dating, btw. Lol

Why?
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Old 06-25-2009, 02:06 PM RazorWind is offline  
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#53  

VapoRub
 
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Originally Posted by 1999 View Post
Ugh. I'm so tired of being such a little bitch. I just want to kick my own ass and scream at my self to get it together. I'm not even talking about girls specifically. I need to stop taking myself so seriously and stop being such an emotional bitch.

I'll tell you something really important about people. We're all just a collection of habits. The way we think, act, and observe are all just different habits. The fastest way to change is to force yourself to start doing things different. In the case of a mindset, if you start veering off to old habits, learn to recognize it and do something else. You'll find you can pretty much adapt and pick up anything if you follow this. If you find yourself beating yourself up, stop it and just start thinking about qualities. If none come to mind, choose some and start living by them.

I've overcome jealousy and forgiveness by doing this. I never used to laugh out loud anywhere, I would just smile or find it amusing on the inside. You can become happier by doing it first, worrying about being genuine later. Eventually by conscious choice, you'll know who you are and who you chose to be. As long as you continue to successfully be that person, you can't fail at anythiing. You can never fail at being what you choose to be. Outcomes are just pointless results of your actions. It's the actions themselves that are important. Think about it.
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Old 06-25-2009, 04:53 PM VapoRub is offline  
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tenk_immortals
 
Try asking female friends you have to set you up? You don't have to be too picky in the beginning, just think of it as a learning experience. Once you get some interest, or really any interest, I think your view of things will turn around. And your confidence will attract more women. A nice cyclical thing going on there. After my first girlfriend, I began to look at myself through a different light.

Are you religious? If you go to church, synagogue, etc. maybe try single groups there?

You are going to be pretty pressed for time when you graduate from medical school, but you will have money. That helps make any man attractive. Maybe not to the classiest women though, or at least anyone you want to have children with.

I don't know how crazy this idea is, but prostitution or something? It would make sure you are attracted to women. And there are some legal places for it in America (assuming you live there).

I hope you appreciate the irony of including that last bit with an earlier suggestion for religious groups. I have a gf right now from attending university, and have no idea how dating goes in the real world. I'm sorry that online dating did not work out for you. But, do not feel alone by any means. Other people on this forum have described similar situations, so you are not alone, even here.
Old 06-25-2009, 05:54 PM tenk_immortals is offline  
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1999
 
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Originally Posted by 1999 View Post
So how upset should I be about this?

If your female friend, who you have flirted with on and off but nothing really came of it, has a birthday party that they don't invite you to, are you in any position to feel slighted? I had actually forgot it was her birthday until something one of her friends (a guy I suspect she might be seeing now - she certainly prefers hanging out with him over me) wrote on her FB wall popped up on my news feed. At first I was like, "it was your birthday? Fuck! I forgot!" but that quickly turned to, "hold up, she didn't even bother to invite me to her birthday party!"

I don't know how to feel about this. On one hand I'm thinking, that was a lame thing to do regardless of what did (or didn't) happen between us, but on the other hand I'm also thinking, well I didn't even remember that it was her birthday to begin with and if she'd rather hang out with with this guy...

I guess the best way to describe what I'm feeling is something more along the lines of "why not me?" I want to know why she would choose this guy over me.

Remember this whiny dialectic? Well I just told her exactly what's up and I feel so fucking good for doing so. She's not my friend anymore and I don't give a fuck. Temporary confidence returning. I had a long talk with one of my best friends today and we both decided we are confident enough in ourselves to know that we don't need other people to feel better about ourselves (I'll thank you in advance for not pointing out the glaring irony of this statement). A-fucking-men! You have no idea how good this makes me feel.
Old 06-25-2009, 11:19 PM 1999 is offline  
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1999
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Great Tiger View Post
You need play the videos of Bob Proctor's Born Rich. I can 100% guarantee it will change you in ways you would never have thought of.

Looking into it. Thanks!

Quote:
Originally Posted by VapoRub View Post
I'll tell you something really important about people. We're all just a collection of habits. The way we think, act, and observe are all just different habits. The fastest way to change is to force yourself to start doing things different. In the case of a mindset, if you start veering off to old habits, learn to recognize it and do something else. You'll find you can pretty much adapt and pick up anything if you follow this. If you find yourself beating yourself up, stop it and just start thinking about qualities. If none come to mind, choose some and start living by them.

I've overcome jealousy and forgiveness by doing this. I never used to laugh out loud anywhere, I would just smile or find it amusing on the inside. You can become happier by doing it first, worrying about being genuine later. Eventually by conscious choice, you'll know who you are and who you chose to be. As long as you continue to successfully be that person, you can't fail at anythiing. You can never fail at being what you choose to be. Outcomes are just pointless results of your actions. It's the actions themselves that are important. Think about it.

Thanks brother. I'm feeling good. I will make the changes I need to. I know I can.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tenk_immortals View Post
Try asking female friends you have to set you up? You don't have to be too picky in the beginning, just think of it as a learning experience. Once you get some interest, or really any interest, I think your view of things will turn around. And your confidence will attract more women. A nice cyclical thing going on there. After my first girlfriend, I began to look at myself through a different light.

Are you religious? If you go to church, synagogue, etc. maybe try single groups there?

You are going to be pretty pressed for time when you graduate from medical school, but you will have money. That helps make any man attractive. Maybe not to the classiest women though, or at least anyone you want to have children with.

I don't know how crazy this idea is, but prostitution or something? It would make sure you are attracted to women. And there are some legal places for it in America (assuming you live there).

I hope you appreciate the irony of including that last bit with an earlier suggestion for religious groups. I have a gf right now from attending university, and have no idea how dating goes in the real world. I'm sorry that online dating did not work out for you. But, do not feel alone by any means. Other people on this forum have described similar situations, so you are not alone, even here.

Thanks. I can always appreciate good irony. One of my best friends is a girl who wanted to hook me up with one of her friends but my timing sucked. Her friend was getting more serious about this guy she was seeing in another city. I'm happy for her though. She's a great gal and the guy was really easygoing and laid back as well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jaredballer View Post
1) Bullshit
2) You make so many excuses, I know plenty of guys who are short and small with ladies, and some fine ladies at that.
3) Tall doesn't mean shit, build doesn't mean shit either. Stop trying to think that if you were taller or more built it would have an affect. It would not, I guarantee it.
4) Why are you depressed and suicidal? People are not going to judge you just because you aren't fucking. It can be frustrating but you will find someone someday. If you were sitting under a rock and not doing shit about it, then I would say you will never find someone. But it seems like you are giving yourself a try. I can't tell you when or where because I am not Nostradamus. If you commit suicide, you won't find a girl. PERIOD. And being depressed takes you places you don't want to go. I was depressed the first 2 years of college, it sucked. I would never go through that again. There are HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS of women in the world who are single RIGHT NOW. And even if 1 in a million finds you attractive in someway, that's hundreds of women who will date you. Keep trying, you will find a gold mine, hopefully soon.
5) I would fuck a goat before I tried online dating, btw. Lol

Everything you are saying is right. I was being stupid and whiny. I'm feeling really good right now though and I think we both need a swift kick in the ass to change our mindset about things. I'm recognizing that I have a very negative way of viewing things and one negative thought leads to another and another until I find myself feeling very depressed and helpless. I need to change that. Confidence is the answer. It has been said throughout this thread but I think it's finally starting to sink in.
Old 06-25-2009, 11:32 PM 1999 is offline  
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jaredballer
 
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Originally Posted by 1999 View Post
Looking into it. Thanks!



Thanks brother. I'm feeling good. I will make the changes I need to. I know I can.



Thanks. I can always appreciate good irony. One of my best friends is a girl who wanted to hook me up with one of her friends but my timing sucked. Her friend was getting more serious about this guy she was seeing in another city. I'm happy for her though. She's a great gal and the guy was really easygoing and laid back as well.



Everything you are saying is right. I was being stupid and whiny. I'm feeling really good right now though and I think we both need a swift kick in the ass to change our mindset about things. I'm recognizing that I have a very negative way of viewing things and one negative thought leads to another and another until I find myself feeling very depressed and helpless. I need to change that. Confidence is the answer. It has been said throughout this thread but I think it's finally starting to sink in.

You should try to learn a sport or a hobby. Recently I been learning to play golf and it has really taken my mind off stupid shit. Not only does it taken your mind off the dumb shit in life like trying to find a chick but also builds confidence. If you are doing well you build alot of confidence in that sport/hobby, which actually overruns into your overall confidence. And if you are really good at something, your confidence will show as you get better. But just don't be too cocky, you come off as a douche. And I am sure you want nothing to do with girls that are attracted to douches, which are alot of skankz.
Old 06-26-2009, 05:50 AM jaredballer is offline  
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Great Tiger
 
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Looking into it. Thanks!

Respect. If you have trouble finding them PM me.
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I mean my penis is a solid 4" long and it fits fine in the finger. - 0dan0
Old 06-28-2009, 09:25 PM Great Tiger is offline  
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spanxxx
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honestly - this may sound lame, but before you can love someone else, you gotta love yourself!!

do something for yourself to help your confidence. if that means running a marathon, or reaching a goal lifting weights.. like many have suggested to get a hobby that allows you some sort of confidence.

personally, i always find that when i'm not thinking about getting into a relationship, you're more relaxed and yourself.. and this is when others are attracted to you the most! when you have to try hard to be yourself.. it's just.. fake

my best plan of action for you would to stop worrying and focusing on things you can't change (height), get some hobbies, have fun and socialize

i dunno the advice seems so cliche, but it's true and it works
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Old 06-29-2009, 04:57 PM spanxxx is offline  
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