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larry burns
 
Interested in friend's cousin

I've never encountered this situation before, where I've met a girl I'm interested in from a friend we have in common. So anyways, at the dorm-like place I live at, I befriended this freshman girl, and we agreed to hang out last weekend. I'm not attracted to her at all, as she's not my type, but I had previously seen her hanging out with her cute cousin. So after we hung out, just the two of us, it got to the point in the conversation where I asked her about her cousin. Turns out she was busy studying at her lab last Saturday night. Anyways, as we came back home, I asked her to show me her room (since we live at the same building). Luckily, I got to meet her cute cousin there, who turned out to be very nice. Now that I've met her cousin, at least now I can approach her if I see her eating in the cafeteria. But the problem is that I never see her there since we apparently eat at much different meal times

Since then, I haven't seen either of them until today, when I saw the cute girl working in the cafeteria. We just small chatted a little since she was busy working. I thought about calling my friend (the girl I'm not interested in) this weekend, but I didn't want to come across as a desperate guy, since I called her twice last weekend to hang out, when we had barely known each other. I decided i may try calling them to hang out next weekend.

How should I proceed with this? Should i ask for her number (cute girl) the next time i see her? or wait til we've chatted more? I want to eventually ask her out, just the two of us, excluding her cousin, so she gets the idea I'm interested in her

BTW, to better describe the cute girl I'm interested in: I've seen her on campus a few times last year and I thought she was quiet and studious since each time I saw her it was at the library, and she dresses less materialistic than other girls. Plus, she was busy last Saturday night at the lab. But after chatting with her, she seems perfectly normal socially. She even approached me to say bye as I left the cafeteria earlier even though I hadn't seen her
Old 10-11-2009, 04:25 PM larry burns is offline  
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flshdncr
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Quote:
Originally Posted by larry burns View Post
I've never encountered this situation before, where I've met a girl I'm interested in from a friend we have in common. So anyways, at the dorm-like place I live at, I befriended this freshman girl, and we agreed to hang out last weekend. I'm not attracted to her at all, as she's not my type, but I had previously seen her hanging out with her cute cousin. So after we hung out, just the two of us, it got to the point in the conversation where I asked her about her cousin. Turns out she was busy studying at her lab last Saturday night. Anyways, as we came back home, I asked her to show me her room (since we live at the same building). Luckily, I got to meet her cute cousin there, who turned out to be very nice. Now that I've met her cousin, at least now I can approach her if I see her eating in the cafeteria. But the problem is that I never see her there since we apparently eat at much different meal times

Since then, I haven't seen either of them until today, when I saw the cute girl working in the cafeteria. We just small chatted a little since she was busy working. I thought about calling my friend (the girl I'm not interested in) this weekend, but I didn't want to come across as a desperate guy, since I called her twice last weekend to hang out, when we had barely known each other. I decided i may try calling them to hang out next weekend.

How should I proceed with this? Should i ask for her number (cute girl) the next time i see her? or wait til we've chatted more? I want to eventually ask her out, just the two of us, excluding her cousin, so she gets the idea I'm interested in her

BTW, to better describe the cute girl I'm interested in: I've seen her on campus a few times last year and I thought she was quiet and studious since each time I saw her it was at the library, and she dresses less materialistic than other girls. Plus, she was busy last Saturday night at the lab. But after chatting with her, she seems perfectly normal socially. She even approached me to say bye as I left the cafeteria earlier even though I hadn't seen her

"You seem fun and interesting, but I'd like to get to know you more. Are you free for lunch Wednesday?"
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Old 10-11-2009, 04:35 PM flshdncr is offline  
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larry burns
 
ok, tonight was the first time I ate a meal with the girls in the cafeteria, but their friends, all guys, were there also. Looks like I currently won't be able to ask out the cute girl, just us two, to hang out together, since she never eats in the cafeteria alone. Should I just ask them all to hang out together?
Old 10-11-2009, 10:05 PM larry burns is offline  
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Bukkakeboy
 
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Approach her otw back from lunch or something. Ask her if you could talk to her or whatev
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Old 10-12-2009, 05:25 AM Bukkakeboy is offline  
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wilse
 
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Originally Posted by larry burns View Post
ok, tonight was the first time I ate a meal with the girls in the cafeteria, but their friends, all guys, were there also. Looks like I currently won't be able to ask out the cute girl, just us two, to hang out together, since she never eats in the cafeteria alone. Should I just ask them all to hang out together?

wtf - why can't you ask her when there are other people around? that would actually benefit you - showing you are confident. waiting until you are alone together to ask her on a fucking lunch date is a child's game.
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Old 10-12-2009, 08:39 AM wilse is offline  
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You know, talking to girls isn't really as hard as it seems. Just ask them on a date.
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Old 10-12-2009, 10:05 AM WILLIAM NOT is offline  
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larry burns
 
I forgot to ask if now is really the right time to ask her out? i mean, we haven't really said all that much beyond small talk. Plus, I don't want to come on too strong, as she may be the kind of girl who prefers a slower pace
Old 10-12-2009, 04:55 PM larry burns is offline  
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wilse
 
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Originally Posted by larry burns View Post
I forgot to ask if now is really the right time to ask her out? i mean, we haven't really said all that much beyond small talk. Plus, I don't want to come on too strong, as she may be the kind of girl who prefers a slower pace

there is no such thing as a girl who, if interested in a guy, prefers him to act like he isn't interested in her
act interested - now is the right time to ask
if she's interested, she'll respond positively
if she's not interested, then she never would have been and you'll save yourself a lot of time

i never understand why some guys think saying "hey i think you're pretty cool, let's go on a date" is coming on sooooooooooo strong
while following a girl around like a puppy trying to win her over with gifts, favors, and incessant compliments is a "slower pace"
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Old 10-12-2009, 06:56 PM wilse is offline  
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"Hey, I really enjoyed talking with you, Do you want to have lunch some time?"
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Old 10-12-2009, 07:36 PM oleo is offline  
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larry burns
 
ok, i'll definitely ask her out next time i see her. Anyways, something kinda unexpected just happened a few hours ago. My roomate asked her out to attend a dance class on campus, and she agreed, but brought one of her friends along. I just happened to be downstairs, where they were gonna meet, so i actually accidentally bumped into them. She invited me to come too, so i joined. As we were walking there, I never got the chance to ask her out since the conversation all 4 of us were having kept flowing. Anyways, then we danced in the class and then left, as she had to go to the library

also, i hope its not relevant, but she may have ignored me. While my roomate talked about a movie he just saw, everyone else including me mentioned that we hadn't seen that movie. I then suggested that we should see it together. But i remember when i suggested that, that some other noise or distraction definitely got in the way, so the others may not have heard what i said. As i didn't want to appear desperate in case she did hear, I decided not to repeat what I just said

Last edited by larry burns; 10-12-2009 at 09:58 PM..
Old 10-12-2009, 09:42 PM larry burns is offline  
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wilse
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by larry burns View Post
ok, i'll definitely ask her out next time i see her. Anyways, something kinda unexpected just happened a few hours ago. My roomate asked her out to attend a dance class on campus, and she agreed, but brought one of her friends along. I just happened to be downstairs, where they were gonna meet, so i actually accidentally bumped into them. She invited me to come too, so i joined. As we were walking there, I never got the chance to ask her out since the conversation all 4 of us were having kept flowing. Anyways, then we danced in the class and then left, as she had to go to the library

also, i hope its not relevant, but she may have ignored me. While my roomate talked about a movie he just saw, everyone else including me mentioned that we hadn't seen that movie. I then suggested that we should see it together. But i remember when i suggested that, that some other noise or distraction definitely got in the way, so the others may not have heard what i said. As i didn't want to appear desperate in case she did hear, I decided not to repeat what I just said

a noise got in the way? that's a new one

please just cowboy up and ask her out the very next time you see her - it doesn't matter if other people are around, it doesn't matter if the "conversation is flowing"

do it soon, please because
i can hardly stand the thought of you out there
so frightened by what her response might be
that you would rather convince yourself that a loud noise drowned out your voice
than to just repeat your question and expect a response from her like any normal decent person

just buck up and do it
if she's interested, she'll say yes
if she's not, she'll say no
and if she's not, no about of pussyfooting around beforehand will make her change her mind
if she's not interested, you can either find out right now or you can waste months of your life trying to "get her to like you" and just find out no months from now, having wasted all your time
and at this point, she could just as easily be interested, so GIVE IT A SHOT! GOGOGOOGOGOGOGOGO
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Old 10-13-2009, 11:40 AM wilse is offline  
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Is this guy even listening? He's coming in here giving status updates but gives no indication as to weather or not he's actually putting anything said to use.

Perhaps your problem is not only that you're so afraid to ask her out, but you're just missing the signs, as it seems you are in this forum thread.
Old 10-13-2009, 12:37 PM DetoxDropout is offline  
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oleo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by larry burns View Post
I forgot to ask if now is really the right time to ask her out? i mean, we haven't really said all that much beyond small talk. Plus, I don't want to come on too strong, as she may be the kind of girl who prefers a slower pace

You know what you should do...

Don't go up and ask her out, go up to her and ask her if now is a good time to ask her out.

Example: "Hey, I was thinking about asking you out, Is now a good time for me to ask you out?"



*Babyvoice*: Mommy, I have to go poo poo and pee pee. Should I go poo poo now? Goo goo gah gah. I can't make any decisions for myself. Goo goo...wanhhh

Stop over thinking. It' really quite simple. And now if she says no, you've wasted all this time and energy on nothing and will feel like shit.
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Old 10-13-2009, 02:23 PM oleo is offline  
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larry burns
 
ok, I asked her out this morning. I asked 'you wanna get something to eat this weekend?' and she said ok, so i got her number and she got mine.

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Originally Posted by DetoxDropout View Post
Is this guy even listening? He's coming in here giving status updates but gives no indication as to weather or not he's actually putting anything said to use.

Perhaps your problem is not only that you're so afraid to ask her out, but you're just missing the signs, as it seems you are in this forum thread.

Speaking of signs, I don't know if she gave me a clear one earlier or not. As we were chatting and I was holding my plate of food, she commented on how it looked funny from her angle. I didn't see her point, so she touched my hand that was holding the plate and adjusted the angle so I could see how it looked funny. I'm really not that experienced with girls, but her holding my hand there was a good sign, right? Or was it accidental?
Old 10-13-2009, 02:33 PM larry burns is offline  
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oleo
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ok, I asked her out this morning. I asked 'you wanna get something to eat this weekend?' and she said ok, so i got her number and she got mine.

I'm really not that experienced with girls, but her holding my hand there was a good sign, right? Or was it accidental?

Good for you. Clean and simple is the best way to go.

Could mean nothing. She's touching you, so at least she doesn't think you are filthy.
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Old 10-13-2009, 02:48 PM oleo is offline  
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