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unknown00
 
pursuing girls with long-distance boyfriends?

age: college
long-distance: 3-5hr drive away

comments? suggestions? methods?

pursuing a girl with a boyfriend is a no-no, but i have yet to meet a guy that is 100% against pursuing a girl with a long-distance boyfriend. most of my girl friends that have experience in long-distance are now against it since they've been there. they just say it's not a real relationship. personally, i have never successfully pursued a girl with a long-distance boyfriend, but it has happened to me before. keep in mind i'm not asking about having a long-distance relationship, i'm asking about girls that are in one and whether pursuing it is worth it or not

if someone is gonna ask "how would you feel if it happened to you?" well, i like many others are against long-distance after what i've been through, so it wouldn't happen to me cause i won't have a long-distance relationship

either way, comments? suggestions? methods? experience?
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Old 10-11-2009, 09:32 PM unknown00 is offline  
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Pico
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sounds like a lot more work than going after a girl that is single...
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Old 10-11-2009, 09:34 PM Pico is offline  
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unknown00
 
yea but what if you just happen to have a big crush on a girl that's not single and your mind is thinking "i want you" haha

but seriously
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Old 10-11-2009, 09:36 PM unknown00 is offline  
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Eh don't be a dick. If it doesn't work out for them on their own then yea go for it.
Old 10-11-2009, 09:47 PM Nib is offline  
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Old 10-11-2009, 10:42 PM theNoid is offline  
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g|aSsJaw
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Long-distance or not, a girl with a boyfriend is off-limits. You wouldn't want your girlfriend to cheat on you, so don't go after a girl that would have to cheat on her boyfriend to be with you. Find a single girl, I'm sure there's plenty out there.
Old 10-12-2009, 12:57 AM g|aSsJaw is offline  
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WILLIAM NOT
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Originally Posted by g|aSsJaw View Post
Long-distance or not, a girl with a boyfriend is off-limits. You wouldn't want your girlfriend to cheat on you, so don't go after a girl that would have to cheat on her boyfriend to be with you. Find a single girl, I'm sure there's plenty out there.
Whether or not your girlfriend would cheat on you does not depend on whether or not she gets hit on by someone local to her.

My opinion is that if you really do like her, light flirting is okay. Let her make the decision whether or not to go with you instead of her boyfriend. Do NOT go with it if she doesn't break up with her boyfriend first.
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Old 10-12-2009, 03:00 AM WILLIAM NOT is offline  
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Old 10-12-2009, 05:14 AM plainsong is offline  
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Rizen
 
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Whether or not your girlfriend would cheat on you does not depend on whether or not she gets hit on by someone local to her.

My opinion is that if you really do like her, light flirting is okay. Let her make the decision whether or not to go with you instead of her boyfriend. Do NOT go with it if she doesn't break up with her boyfriend first.
this
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Old 10-12-2009, 07:34 AM Rizen is offline  
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Would you want a girl that will cheat on her bf with you? I personally wouldn't, what's to say she won't just do the same to you? Get a life and find your own woman.
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Old 10-12-2009, 08:18 AM notoriouscwe is offline  
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This will not end well.
Old 10-12-2009, 08:32 AM Electrikfuzz050 is offline  
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wilse
 
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a) if you're successful, you'll end up with a girl that will do the same to you when something new and shiny catches her eye.

b) there are, literally, billions of women in the world. i find it hard to believe that this one girl is so fucking amazing that the very thought of being with her precludes you going after girls that are actually single. be honest here - you don't actually like her for her qualities, do you? the main reason you like her is because she pays attention to you and talks to you, and you're so insecure that you'll latch on to any girl that gives you the time of day even when they are in a relationship and obviously unavailable.

this girl is not special, and there is no reason to pursue her when there are probably hundreds... thousands of single girls in your area.

sure, there are guys out there that go after girls with boyfriends just because they want some ass, but you're asking about a relationship - your post screams "girls don't normally talk to me. here's a girl that talks to me. even though she has a boyfriend, i don't want to leave her alone because i'm afraid i'll never be able to find another girl that talks to me."
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Old 10-12-2009, 08:37 AM wilse is offline  
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WILLIAM NOT
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The problem with many of these responses is that they assume one of two things (or both even):

1. That for the OP to get with the girl, the girl would have to cheat on the boyfriend

and

2. That the boyfriend is a boyfriend that the girl considers significant enough to keep at long distance.

For all we know, the OP may be a much more desirable person to the girl than her boyfriend. The boyfriend may only still be a boyfriend because she wanted the security of still being in a "relationship." My point is that there's nothing wrong with the OP testing her out to see where she is in her relationship; it's simply the dynamics of dating. However, as I stated before, getting with her before they break up would be not only a douche move, but also a recipe for future disaster.
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Old 10-12-2009, 09:40 AM WILLIAM NOT is offline  
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wilse
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theLiberator View Post
The problem with many of these responses is that they assume one of two things (or both even):

1. That for the OP to get with the girl, the girl would have to cheat on the boyfriend

and

2. That the boyfriend is a boyfriend that the girl considers significant enough to keep at long distance.

For all we know, the OP may be a much more desirable person to the girl than her boyfriend. The boyfriend may only still be a boyfriend because she wanted the security of still being in a "relationship." My point is that there's nothing wrong with the OP testing her out to see where she is in her relationship; it's simply the dynamics of dating. However, as I stated before, getting with her before they break up would be not only a douche move, but also a recipe for future disaster.

and i say the OP needs to take a hard look at his own self-esteem if he is so caught up on pursuing a girl already in a relationship

talk about a defense mechanism - "oh of course she rejected me - she has a boyfriend. man, if she didn't have a boyfriend she surely would have dated me, but she certainly does have a boyfriend, so her rejection of me has absolutely nothing to do with a lack of desire on her part to be with me."

guys who ignore the fact that there are millions of single women out there and instead focus on the ones already in relationships usually need to work on their self-esteem and fear of rejection

when a single girl turns you down, yes, it means that that one particular girl wasn't particularly interested in dating you. so fucking what, i say - but to guys with low self-esteem, this is apparently the worst thing in the world
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Old 10-12-2009, 10:12 AM wilse is offline  
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WILLIAM NOT
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Originally Posted by wilse View Post
and i say the OP needs to take a hard look at his own self-esteem if he is so caught up on pursuing a girl already in a relationship

talk about a defense mechanism - "oh of course she rejected me - she has a boyfriend. man, if she didn't have a boyfriend she surely would have dated me, but she certainly does have a boyfriend, so her rejection of me has absolutely nothing to do with a lack of desire on her part to be with me."

guys who ignore the fact that there are millions of single women out there and instead focus on the ones already in relationships usually need to work on their self-esteem and fear of rejection

when a single girl turns you down, yes, it means that that one particular girl wasn't particularly interested in dating you. so fucking what, i say - but to guys with low self-esteem, this is apparently the worst thing in the world
Well, yeah, in that case I agree completely. However, I assumed (perhaps incorrectly) that the OP did not have said self-esteem issues.
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Old 10-12-2009, 10:19 AM WILLIAM NOT is offline  
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