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Forever Domon
 
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well, if his ex'es are contacting you, thats an avenue. Im sure he beat up on them to, and theyre somewhat detached from him. If you get two or three ex'es that feel safe now since theyre away from him to make statements, thatll do the job.
Old 10-18-2009, 03:29 PM Forever Domon is offline  
#31  

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2a
 
If I found out my brother was hitting women, I wouldn't hesitate to beat some sense into him.
Old 10-18-2009, 11:42 PM 2a is offline  
#32  

tHisFaItH
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by wilse View Post
do, you don't
you're not a white knight

like i said - if it is the type of situation that deserves police involvement
get the police involved

otherwise mind your own business

if you wish to cut off contact with your brother, feel free to do so
but your desire to meddle is not cool

you're a piece of shit dirtbag, and so is anyone else that says to "mind your own business" when someone is being abused.

OP: talk to him and tell him to get help, and tell him you want him to leave her and not talk to her again until he can control himself so she doesn't continue to get abused. failing that, get some of his ex's together and call the police. brother or no brother, he's abusing women and one day may end up killing one.
Old 10-19-2009, 01:02 AM tHisFaItH is offline  
#33  

Mr. Susan
 
Okay, so I'm at work and so's he. If I say he hit her he's gonna keep sticking with the cd player story but if I tell him that she told me accidentally he might hurt her again. I need to say something though. He made a jopke about how many blowjobs he was getting and how he should give her black eyes more often. What the fuck is wrong with him? I'm so fucking disappointed in him.
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Old 10-19-2009, 03:48 AM Mr. Susan is offline  
#34  

Bukkakeboy
 
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A) just dont buy the cd player story, tell him shit liek "a cd player doesn't make a bruise like that" etc

b) ask him what he thinks about himself, does he feel he is control all the time or that its easy for him to lose it, ask him what his feelings are about hurting women. Ask what he would feel about going to anger management class
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Old 10-19-2009, 04:02 AM Bukkakeboy is offline  
#35  

flshdncr
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Originally Posted by Mr. Susan View Post
Okay, so I'm at work and so's he. If I say he hit her he's gonna keep sticking with the cd player story but if I tell him that she told me accidentally he might hurt her again. I need to say something though. He made a jopke about how many blowjobs he was getting and how he should give her black eyes more often. What the fuck is wrong with him? I'm so fucking disappointed in him.

after this post i'm no longer convinced you will be able to handle this.

There are free hotlines that handle domestic abuse. Look one up in your area, call them.
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Old 10-19-2009, 05:53 AM flshdncr is offline  
#36  

huxley
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Originally Posted by Mr. Susan View Post
But why is she so dumb as to beg him back when he's dumping her so harshly and generally being cuntish to her?

well i was at lunch at work and read a good part of the log. I dont really see what the problem is, she was lying to him and you can tell he really doesnt care about her much. She says she has no where to go if she cant live with him not that she loves him and wants to be with him more than she wants a place to stay. idk from the convo it doesnt look like abuse but you tell us.
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Old 10-19-2009, 10:54 AM huxley is offline  
#37  

huxley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Susan View Post
Okay, so I'm at work and so's he. If I say he hit her he's gonna keep sticking with the cd player story but if I tell him that she told me accidentally he might hurt her again. I need to say something though. He made a jopke about how many blowjobs he was getting and how he should give her black eyes more often. What the fuck is wrong with him? I'm so fucking disappointed in him.

now thats f'd up
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Old 10-19-2009, 10:55 AM huxley is offline  
#38  

The Internet
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brkdncr View Post
after this post i'm no longer convinced you will be able to handle this.

There are free hotlines that handle domestic abuse. Look one up in your area, call them.


Indeed, let someone who knows what they're doing handle this, Where are your parents in all this?
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Old 10-19-2009, 11:30 AM The Internet is offline  
#39  

Mr. Susan
 
Y'know what, he's just using her for convenience until december when he gets his own place, I'm gonna just let them get on with their business. I don't think he's gonna hit her again, just verbally bully her a lot. She could leave anytime she wants and be welcomed out the door, why does she deserve my interference?
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Old 10-19-2009, 11:53 AM Mr. Susan is offline  
#40  

Foolioq
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Susan View Post
Y'know what, he's just using her for convenience until december when he gets his own place, I'm gonna just let them get on with their business. I don't think he's gonna hit her again, just verbally bully her a lot. She could leave anytime she wants and be welcomed out the door, why does she deserve my interference?

Because shes already gone back to him, after punching her. She saw her father beat her mother, and now shes in the same relationship. She doesn't know what to do because she didn't see her mother do anything and feels on some level that its acceptable to go back because her mother did. Her parents were terrible role models and she doesn't know there are way more healthy relationships than what she has and can get.
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Old 10-19-2009, 12:36 PM Foolioq is offline  
#41  

Vendetta
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Susan View Post
Y'know what, he's just using her for convenience until december when he gets his own place, I'm gonna just let them get on with their business. I don't think he's gonna hit her again, just verbally bully her a lot. She could leave anytime she wants and be welcomed out the door, why does she deserve my interference?

Come on man, seriously? Is this just a troll thread? You are sitting idly by as your brother continues to abuse--verbally and even potentially physically-- a much weaker person. For some people, it's not so easy to just leave, because a history of abuses fucks with emotions and decision making processes.

This is some pretty hard advice, and not meant to be insulting: don't be a pussy. Don't let something illegal happen again. Look man, you need to be strong with your brother here. You think he's a sociopath, and judging from some of his statements that might be true. Don't just call him up and be saying "hey I heard you hit your woman". Confront. Him. Now. Show him that there are people that aren't going to stand for that type of shit, and he needs to act like a fucking adult.

If you think you shouldn't have to deal with this, or don't want to, please call someone that can. But he's your brother, if you can slap some sense into him without calling the police, maybe you should.
Old 10-19-2009, 01:02 PM Vendetta is offline  
#42  

DetoxDropout
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Susan View Post
Y'know what, he's just using her for convenience until december when he gets his own place, I'm gonna just let them get on with their business. I don't think he's gonna hit her again, just verbally bully her a lot. She could leave anytime she wants and be welcomed out the door, why does she deserve my interference?

You're in some serious denial here. By listening to his sick and twisted view on life without speaking you are enabling him. And judging by your comments here, you certainly are.

You're not morally or legally obligated to help, anyone. But you are certainly in a position do.

Don't you understand that while women (or men) could "easily" get out of a destructive relationship, most don't for a variety of reasons and issues with themselves.

This girl may be afraid to leave for fear that your brother will find and hurt or kill her.
Because of past violence in her family, it could be ingrained that women are meant to be subjugated, and she "deserved" being hit because of something she did wrong.

Simply because she has the "option" to walk away and does not, does NOT mean she deserves to be abused.

Hell, look at how many posts are made on this forum, look at your own friends who are in fucked up relationships but won't leave. Even relationships that don't involve verbal or physical abuse.

YOU don't have to be the one to confront your brother. If you're afraid of him, what he'll do to you, or what he'll do to his girlfriend. Go to someone 'above' him. Someone who WILL confront him, because you obviously won't. It sounds to me like you're even more afraid of him than the women who chose to stick with him.

It dosen't have to be the police, but again, ask yourself. If and when your brother murders a significant other, will you finally come clean with the knowledge to authorities? If your brothers a big enough man to hit a woman, he doesn't need YOUR pathetic excuse for protection from the law.

Again, where the fuck are your parents?
Old 10-19-2009, 11:51 PM DetoxDropout is offline  
#43  

Trachei
 
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seriously, when did the B/C start getting all crazy?! We got a crazy women who thankfully got locked and now this shit? An internet forum cannot solve your problems if you don't heed ANY advice whatsoever. You come here asking for advice and follow none of it and go on your merry way justifying your actions.

You're HOPING that nothing bad happens, and then if it does, you're going to blame HER for staying in that situation [you already ARE!].

It's pretty sick to sit idly, knowing it's happening, knowing that this is a RECURRING problem, and then doing nothing.

Shame on you.
Old 10-20-2009, 12:28 AM Trachei is offline  
#44  

Mr. Susan
 
Fine, I'll spill the beans. I'm not scared of him, I just don't want to fall out with him because when I mentioned about him moving into a new place earlier, well, I'm hoping to move in to. We're just about to sign a lease for a place where he'll be paying the majority of the rent. I don't want to fuck that up or I would of said something straight away. I guess I can't let him continue to think it's acceptable though. If I confront him about it he will most likely instigate a fight. I've had fights with my brother before and we make up in around a week but this place we're looking at has a lot of people interested. Once the holding deposit is down I'll talk to him.
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Old 10-20-2009, 01:38 AM Mr. Susan is offline  
#45  

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