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SmashingPumpkins
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by typhoon43 View Post
It really depends on how "well" the breakup went. Wishing someone the best in life (as I believe you should do no matter what/why things went South) needs to stay in the "wishing" section, meaning not actively trying to find out. Out of sight-Out of mind is a saying for a reason. If you contact your ex, you are inviting a situation taht can harm you way more than it can help you. Feeling can begin to kindle again, and that's something that needs to be treaded around lightly in my book.

tsrh


i met up with my ex once (we didnt talk afterward AT ALL so i had no idea how she was) about 8 months after. we met for an afternoon beer. I finished one, paid my tab, smoked a cigarette and left.

and never talked to her again.
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Old 08-02-2010, 01:29 PM SmashingPumpkins is offline  
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Gibonius
 
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Originally Posted by unknown00 View Post
best gain? potential friendship

It really depends on the situation. If you broke up completely amicably, you both just decided "Nah, this ain't going to work," then fine, maybe you can be friends. Any other situation is fraught with emotional peril and probably not worth it.

Odds are that if you're just randomly thinking "Gee it might be nice to be friends with my ex," you're still too attached to avoid complications. Do you really need another friend that badly?
Old 08-02-2010, 01:49 PM Gibonius is offline  
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#17  

unknown00
 
okay, then not a friendship, but a fuck buddy

//EDIT: btw, my first love and true relationship i dated for 4 years. i contacted her every half year after we broke up and continually had problems of having feelings brought back. its been almost 5 years. as of today, we are in a way, best friends with strong limits. i get on her nerves a lot and quickly so we maintain cautiously how often we talk. but it feels good that both of us can talk to each other about anything in the world and get honest feedback.

example, if i asked her what i am asking yall now in this thread she would reply "you are a fuckin rtard get over whoever you are thinking about you dumbass"
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Old 08-02-2010, 01:53 PM unknown00 is offline  
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#18  

Gibonius
 
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okay, then not a friendship, but a fuck buddy

That's a really bad idea and you probably know it or you wouldn't have started a thread about it. In fact, you obviously know it because you just said your friend/ex would tell you to get over it.
Old 08-02-2010, 02:38 PM Gibonius is offline  
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#19  

Foolioq
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unknown00 View Post
upset? if i got an upsetting email i would just ignore and delete it, think most pple would too

Just because you would do something doesn't mean most people will. Its not a good idea to project how other people react on how you would. Go more case by case basis, what would this girl think (in you opinion)? You dated her, you know her a bit better than we do.

If you did not start/end as a fuck buddy, then she will never be just a fuck buddy. This is just a bad idea all around, let her contact you if she really wants. Don't you have better girls to be talking to?
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Old 08-02-2010, 02:42 PM Foolioq is offline  
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#20  

wilse
 
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leave her alone

i don't believe for a second that you want to contact her "just to be friends." you want to contact her either in the hopes to rekindle a romantic or physical relationship or because you haven't gotten over her yet and you think enough time has passed now to use this "oh i just want to be friends" excuse.

stop being selfish. if she desired communication with you, she'd have done it.

leave her alone
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Old 08-02-2010, 09:10 PM wilse is offline  
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#21  

elsrijk
 
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leave her alone

i don't believe for a second that you want to contact her "just to be friends." you want to contact her either in the hopes to rekindle a romantic or physical relationship or because you haven't gotten over her yet and you think enough time has passed now to use this "oh i just want to be friends" excuse.

stop being selfish. if she desired communication with you, she'd have done it.

leave her alone

This

The only reason to see an ex you haven't seen for 8 months is to hit that.

If you want to get back together give it a go, if it doesn't work out get outta there and don't ever go back.
Old 08-08-2010, 04:06 AM elsrijk is offline  
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#22  

hider
 
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I just graduated and haven't talked to my high school girlfriend since we broke up basically. It's been 2 years so far.

I know my situation is a little bit different, but I think I would probably do the same in the future.
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Old 08-08-2010, 07:20 AM hider is offline  
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#23  

Suma Diock
 
My ex and I broke up in 2002. We dated for 4 years. I IM'd her on FB around 2006 or so to let her know I was getting married. And that was it.

She broke up with me - I'd never consider contacting her ever again. We broke up for a reason. You fucking move on in life - not backward.
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Old 08-08-2010, 08:48 AM Suma Diock is offline  
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#24  

Electrikfuzz050
 
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I'm guessing that the only reason you're thinking about talking to her is because of a lack of other women in your life.

Go meet some new chicks. I can pretty much promise you that if you give it long enough you'll meet someone better than your ex.
Old 08-08-2010, 09:40 AM Electrikfuzz050 is offline  
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#25  

Vendetta
That's "Doctor Vendetta" to you
 
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No good can come of this.
Old 08-08-2010, 09:43 AM Vendetta is offline  
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#26  

fat asian chick
 
Me and an ex girlfriend broke up in mid 2007. She contacts me every few months wanting to meet up with me and catch up. She last contacted me in May or so but I've just stopped answering her. I honestly don't know why she wants to be friends
Old 08-08-2010, 10:16 AM fat asian chick is offline  
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#27  

FM 2347
I am offended by the world isajeep.
 
I see no positive reasons for a guy to contact his ex.
Old 08-08-2010, 02:19 PM FM 2347 is offline  
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#28  

wwilliam54
 
I have an ex from 10 years ago that I contact every year.
I like her as a person and want to hear how her life is going. But then again we are both married now and 10 years is a long time to find perspective on the time we had.
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Old 08-08-2010, 03:18 PM wwilliam54 is offline  
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#29  

theNoid
 
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Nope.


Quote:
Originally Posted by fat asian chick View Post
Me and an ex girlfriend broke up in mid 2007. She contacts me every few months wanting to meet up with me and catch up. She last contacted me in May or so but I've just stopped answering her. I honestly don't know why she wants to be friends

Guaranteed male attention w/o having to put in any effort. Its every girls dream, and they all try it. Typically people grow up and this type of 'reconnect' shit is meaningless. I'm married the last thing I plan on doing is calling my ex from 10 years ago, or wanting to hear from her. Know what, same could have been said before I got married .. either when dating or completely single. I pass people on the freeway everyday, I dont think about them a few years later and ex's get categorized the same after enough time passes.

If I bump into them in public or something, hey cool. "What have you been up?" There just no reason for reaching out to ex's long afterwards to 'catch up'. You aren't going to do it when you're 80, so why would you do it now? Its pointless... well actually its not, and perhaps thats the point. Anyone who reaches out to their ex has alternate motives, regardless if they are honest enough with themselves to realize it.
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Last edited by theNoid; 08-08-2010 at 10:40 PM..
Old 08-08-2010, 10:25 PM theNoid is offline  
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