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JohnnyBeagle
 
How do I convince my girlfriend to try new things in bed?

Hey guys and girls,

Sex has become boring because it is so structured. First, she wants me to finger her until she comes. Then, we do missionary until I come, then we sleep. Here are my problems:

1) She doesn't want to do head (she says it's not that she doesn't love me, rather that she's not ready). I've never had head before so naturally I want to experience it. How can I persuade her that it's not such a bad thing?

2) I've gone down on her a few times when she is drunk but she doesn't want me down there when she is sober because she must be self concious. Another thing we have troubles with is public hair. It's a jungle. I ask her to shave and she says that she will, but she never has and we've been together six months. How can I persuade her that it's not such a bad thing? This afternoon she was working and I brought it up in a message. She responded with "I told u 2 stop mentioning that or it mite not ever happen".

3) So far we've tried doggy and some other positions a few times but she doesn't like anything other than missionary. How can I get her to be more confortable about her body and about trying new things?

I ask her about these things and she always procastinates. How can I stress that they are important to me without sounding presenting a ultimatum and sounding like an asshole. We've been together six months so I obviously care about her and don't want to come off the wrong way.
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Old 09-18-2005, 04:21 AM JohnnyBeagle is offline  
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Sage2k
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Have you two ever showered together? If not, would she?
Take a shower with her and trim your bush, dont shave it, just trim it down with a beard trimmer. Then have her do the same. Trimmed is better than nothing. When she gets comfortable with that maybe you can convince her more easily to shave completely.

She doesnt like any other position...but you already get her off by fingering her so she should return the favor by getting you off to your preferred method...just common sense, talk to her about that.
Old 09-18-2005, 05:12 AM Sage2k is offline  
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kissmeimcute1
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnyBeagle
Hey guys and girls,

Sex has become boring because it is so structured. First, she wants me to finger her until she comes. Then, we do missionary until I come, then we sleep. Here are my problems:

1) She doesn't want to do head (she says it's not that she doesn't love me, rather that she's not ready). I've never had head before so naturally I want to experience it. How can I persuade her that it's not such a bad thing?

2) I've gone down on her a few times when she is drunk but she doesn't want me down there when she is sober because she must be self concious. Another thing we have troubles with is public hair. It's a jungle. I ask her to shave and she says that she will, but she never has and we've been together six months. How can I persuade her that it's not such a bad thing? This afternoon she was working and I brought it up in a message. She responded with "I told u 2 stop mentioning that or it mite not ever happen".

3) So far we've tried doggy and some other positions a few times but she doesn't like anything other than missionary. How can I get her to be more confortable about her body and about trying new things?

I ask her about these things and she always procastinates. How can I stress that they are important to me without sounding presenting a ultimatum and sounding like an asshole. We've been together six months so I obviously care about her and don't want to come off the wrong way.

regarding the no head issue, me and my bf of 6 months broke up about a month ago and when we first started dating, i wasnt comfotable with giving head, but after we talked about it, and i realized how important sexually it was to him, that fear slowly began to go away, at first i would only do it for a few mins while giving him hand, then it progressd to doing it the whole time, but i wouldnt let him cum in my mouth, then eventually i did let him and now im completely comfortable with it..just give her time and alot of support, i did it because i cared about him alot and wanted to see him happy, in more ways then one.

now as for the sex, watch porn with her, see her reactions to stuff, get her comfortable with the idea, if shes feeling self concious about it, tell her how much you like her, or how gorgeous you might think she is, that will really boost her ego and she'll feel more comfrotable to try new things.

as for the forest down town( where it shouldnt be )just tell her that, it wouldn't be for just you, because a girl can feel more sensation without it there, plus its alot cleaner, and makes it easy and more enjoyable for you to go down. it might seem like alot of work the first time, but after that, the up keep is easy. she shouldnt be afraid.

anyways i hope some of this goes to good use, good luck, i know my ex who i sitll fool around with appriciated it alot when i got comfortable, she'll eventually see how much it means to you and start to familiarize with it..hopefully

Last edited by kissmeimcute1; 09-18-2005 at 07:09 AM..
Old 09-18-2005, 07:05 AM kissmeimcute1 is offline  
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LyingFagMonkey
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Nothing much you can do but reassure her that you really really want to.

Thing is, she does to, she wants you to pursuadede her, DON'T ask permission, just do it.
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Old 09-18-2005, 07:19 AM LyingFagMonkey is offline  
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code30
 
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Originally Posted by Jägermeister
Nothing much you can do but reassure her that you really really want to.

Thing is, she does to, she wants you to pursuadede her, DON'T ask permission, just do it.
ok, thats a bad idea. never ever EVER force a girl to do something she's not ready for. Thats just going from one extreme to another.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnyBeagle
She responded with "I told u 2 stop mentioning that or it mite not ever happen ".
and i wouldnt roll my eyes at that if i were you, because the more you bring it up, the more uncomfortable you're going to make her with it.



First of all, how sexually experienced is she? It sounds like you're her first, which honestly means it might take more than 6 months for her to get comfortable with everything. Sorry, but those are the facts of life.

You need to talk to her about this stuff, and you need to make sure she knows how you feel without making her feel like she's doing something wrong, because if she's new at this, she's probably still really nevous about new things.

After you talk to her, I think it would be a good idea to have her talk to some experienced girls here ( i know there are plenty who love to give advice) who can explain some things and get her feeling comfortable enough to try some stuff.

And ever think that maybe she doesnt want you to eat her out because she knows you dislike the pubic hair, but she's not quite sure of a) how to get rid of it, or b) how it will feel? I mean, there are a lot of things that she could have heard that would make her uncomfortable with the idea of shaving, cause its kinda a pain until you get used to it. If the two of you decide to try shaving, get to a drugstore and get something called 'bikini zone' , because when you start shaving there's some itching that comes with it, and that stuff really helps.

talk to her, get her to talk to another girl...she needs to be reassured that there's someone who's been through this and they're willing to help her.


edit: this post was the positive side, hoping that maybe, just maybe, she really isnt ready. There is the very possible other side, that says, maybe she's just playing a game, and she will be one of those girls that's never ready and you're never gonna get any better sex from her. Either way, talk to her.

Last edited by code30; 09-18-2005 at 03:56 PM..
Old 09-18-2005, 10:58 AM code30 is offline  
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Ignited
 
Some girls just can't be convinced to try new things like that. They just have it in their heads that they don't like something and there's no way they can be convinced otherwise. If simple gestures and suggestions aren't enough to persuade her to at least want to try different things, I think you should just give up and hope that she eventually grows into her sexuality. Forcing the issue will get you nowhere.
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Old 09-18-2005, 01:46 PM Ignited is offline  
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*guy
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You are stuck between a rock and a hard place. With girls its difficult to convince them that you would REALLY like them to do something, without making them think you are trying to force them to do it, because once you do that, you're fucked.

Like you are saying about trimming/shaving, you probably dont mention it that often, but even if you do it once a month, or every couple of weeks (which is completely reasonable), she will probably think you are trying to force her, or make her do something she isnt too inclined to do. At this point you are really fucked, because now she has stated if "you keep bugging" her, its never going to happen, so you are kind of screwed in the sense that you arent allowed to ask her, and now she is still not going to do it! You will probably end up asking her again in a few months when she still doesnt, but then she will just get even more upset with you.

I think your BEST bet is to sit down and explain you have sexual needs. Make her know that missionary every time is not what EVERYONE wants, tell her that sex is about experiencing different things with your partners, and a different way to have fun. There is a very fine line here though, since girls are fucked up she will probably think you only want her for sex, or feel shitty after this conversation. It will be easier the older you both are (and mature) when she realizes that older people dont really have relationships just for sex, and that you are being completely honest with her.

Sucky man I hope you can work it out, just remember, everything you say/do in this situation is on a very fine line, its difficult, but maybe you can get her to open up with time.

GL
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Old 09-18-2005, 02:54 PM *guy is offline  
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*guy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by code30
ok, thats a bad idea. never ever EVER force a girl to do something she's not ready for. Thats just going from one extreme to another.

I dont think he meant force, I think he meant like....hike her legs up or flip her over or something while having sex. Its like throwing a little spice in the mix. If any girl gets pissed at you for wanting to try different positions (unless they are really strange) you have some pretty big issues you might wanna work out. I dont think the poster meant to like, grab her head and force it on your dick
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Old 09-18-2005, 02:56 PM *guy is offline  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sexyguy
I dont think he meant force, I think he meant like....hike her legs up or flip her over or something while having sex. Its like throwing a little spice in the mix. If any girl gets pissed at you for wanting to try different positions (unless they are really strange) you have some pretty big issues you might wanna work out. I dont think the poster meant to like, grab her head and force it on your dick
QFT

just flip her over and fuck away, she aint gonna go anywhere. I bet she playing this game with you just to make you take the initiative.
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Last edited by Lurker; 09-18-2005 at 03:25 PM..
Old 09-18-2005, 03:17 PM Lurker is offline  
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notyou
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imo, if she's "not ready" to give head, she's not really ready to be having sex. maybe ya'll should talk about if she really feels she's ready, or if she's giving in because making you happy makes her feel good.
Old 09-18-2005, 03:43 PM notyou is offline  
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code30
 
Quote:
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QFT

just flip her over and fuck away, she aint gonna go anywhere. I bet she playing this game with you just to make you take the initiative.


but if she's not just playing with him, she's going to think all guys just want to force themselves on her.
Old 09-18-2005, 03:57 PM code30 is offline  
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she does not trust you. Work on this.
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Old 09-18-2005, 03:58 PM Talenos is offline  
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Lurker
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Quote:
Originally Posted by code30
but if she's not just playing with him, she's going to think all guys just want to force themselves on her.

she has been with him for 6 months, I think its time to take action.
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Old 09-18-2005, 04:20 PM Lurker is offline  
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The Entertainer
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You are doomed. You want stuff from her that she's not willing to give. She's not willing to compromise to make you happy. You're bored with the routine. You are doomed.

There are millions of women out there who would be more than willing to do the things you're looking for. And that's not to say they're loose hoochies. They just know that to keep a good guy, you gotta be willing to please him, just as a man must be willing to do a few things he doesn't necessarily want to for his woman. It sounds like the relationship you have is all give on your part and very little take. Get out of this now. Can you imagine what it would be like if she ended up pregnant? You'd have absolutely no say over anything ever. Run. She'll find her whipping boy elsewhere.
Old 09-18-2005, 04:35 PM The Entertainer is offline  
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bluechip
 
Honestly the whole situation sounds miserable. Also, I honestly dont know what girl doesn't want to take care of her pubic hair unless she's too overweight, or is too self concious of her body for some reason (weight, leg attributes, stomach) to wear a bikini bottom, so I assume she's in one of those two catagories.

If she gets mad at you when you mention the hair, and says that it might never happen if you keep mentioning it, then what do you have to lose by mentioning it anyway? As it looks now it doesnt look like she's gonna ever do it so why not mention it all the time. She'll get the idea that something needs to be done about it. In fact, you can even offer to her that you'll do it for her, but it doesnt sound like she's the type to get excited about this offer in the slightest.

The actual sex situation sounds incredibly boring. Ask her why the other positions dont feel good to her. She might have it in her head that if she has sex in any other positions then she's considered a whore.
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Old 09-18-2005, 05:07 PM bluechip is offline  
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