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jaedon83
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by trulymadlydeeply View Post

Now, does anyone have any POSITIVE experiences to share about similar situations to this one? Where the conservative, religious parents came around (or accepted the person right away even)?

Sure. I was raised in a family that follows Reverend Moon. I was expected to have an arranged marriage because my parents had one. When I came back from my first year of college and introduced my girlfriend, my parents sat us down and read us a two-page ultimatum that we should separate. Later that year my father surprised me at my college job with a woman that he wanted me to marry, knowing full well I was in a happy and stable relationship.

Then my father developed a chronic disease. Our family changed and my parents slowly began to accept my girlfriend. You know all the life's too short stuff. Well, it actually worked. It enabled my parents to see all of the good things that I saw in my girlfriend. My parents preconceived notions about who she was were shattered. During this time, my girlfriend and I relied on the support of very close friends, almost as a pseudo-family.

My father gave a very heart felt toast at my wedding 4 years ago. I'd say this last year, a full 8 years after the ultimatum, my wife has been finally able to actually enjoy the company of my parents. For all those years, I had to support her and allow her to process through her feeling towards them. She was absolutely justified to have negative feelings.

While my father's chronic disease was the biggest factor, a second large factor was that my younger sister did have an arranged marriage within the church/culture. Some of my parents' existential anxieties were ameliorated by this.

Good luck to all multiethnic or multicultural couples.
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Old 10-31-2010, 07:42 PM jaedon83 is offline  
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Rancidpunk666
 
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I'm an athiest and my wife is catholic. I was raised catholic though and I don't really mind if my wife wants our kids to be baptized. It wasn't really a big deal with her parents, they were far more concerned about that fact that we were living together before we got married. They're pretty conservative but not necessarily religious. Once we got married all the problems with her parents went away and now we've got a great relationship. Their main concern was that they didn't want their daughter to get hurt or to end up in a bad situation with some loser.

I've only been in one relationship with a person who was an athiest. It did not work out for other reasons but I couldn't not imagine being in a long term relationship with somone that does not share at least a common view of an afterlife. Like what kind of stuff have you discussed about what happens when you die?
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Old 11-09-2010, 04:21 AM Rancidpunk666 is offline  
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topcat989
 
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Originally Posted by jaedon83 View Post
Sure. I was raised in a family that follows Reverend Moon.

A Moonie? I didn't realize they were still around. I remember they were big in the 80's, mass marriages on the news and all that. Plus competing with the krishnas for donations at airports, just like in the "Airplane!". I remember if you went into an airport during the 80's you either got mobbed by a Krishna or a Moonie.

7 seconds in

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ERROR: If you can see this, then YouTube is down or you don't have Flash installed.
Old 11-09-2010, 08:24 AM topcat989 is offline  
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jaedon83
 
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A Moonie? I didn't realize they were still around. I remember they were big in the 80's, mass marriages on the news and all that. Plus competing with the krishnas for donations at airports, just like in the "Airplane!". I remember if you went into an airport during the 80's you either got mobbed by a Krishna or a Moonie.

7 seconds in

+ YouTube Video
ERROR: If you can see this, then YouTube is down or you don't have Flash installed.

With your in-depth understanding, you could be an expert on the culture.
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Old 11-12-2010, 08:08 PM jaedon83 is offline  
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topcat989
 
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Originally Posted by jaedon83 View Post
With your in-depth understanding, you could be an expert on the culture.

try not to get your panties all twisted up because I remembered moonies and krishnas soliciting at airports when I was a kid. Hell it was so prevelant that somebody could have made a comedy routine or satire about it, maybe one about airports and airplanes....oh, wait
Old 11-12-2010, 11:38 PM topcat989 is offline  
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TechHead
 
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I don't know about lumping Pakistan with India on that one, since I have never heard of any Muslim family (the vast religious majority in Pakistan) having arranged marriages.


I agree with what other people have said that she'll never know until she meets his family. I assume that if the guy's family grew up in America, they would have been at least to some extent exposed to Western traditions and customs and not completely shut off and "backwards" as expected. You never know how they will react, so figuring that out first is a good idea before going too far.

Open your eyes then.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/2007...me_to_p-2.html

Also, 12% of India is also Muslim. Just sayin'
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Old 11-19-2010, 12:44 AM TechHead is offline  
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syntheticreality
 
Yeah, people definitely don't take into account that when they date/marry someone, they're locking themselves into the family, as well. My wife's dad and stepmom are drunks and racists, but I've never talked to them and it doesn't bother me.

If they were religious nuts it would be even worse. The thing you have to hope, though, is that the other person is independent enough to decide what they're going to do with their own lives, regardless of what their family thinks. If they think with their own minds, then you've already got a winner.
Old 01-05-2011, 04:57 PM syntheticreality is offline  
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brian1234
 
Re:Marrying someone of a different religion

Generally Marrying in different religion is not accepted in our society.But now-a-days people have understood the religion matters and accepting the marriage in different religion in less number.If both the party from the bride and groom side are agree then there will be no problem to the society.So we have to decide the impacts before marriage about the reactions of the surrounding people for the proposals.
Old 09-28-2011, 10:04 PM brian1234 is offline  
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C357
 
I dont have any religious friends so cant comment
Old 10-04-2011, 06:07 PM C357 is offline  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by topcat989 View Post
try not to get your panties all twisted up because I remembered moonies and krishnas soliciting at airports when I was a kid. Hell it was so prevelant that somebody could have made a comedy routine or satire about it, maybe one about airports and airplanes....oh, wait

I get solicited by JW's at least once a month.


Either way, I guess it's not really about the religion(s) involved but rather who interprets them and to which degree. I wouldn't know really, but I'd assume someone that's not a "sunday" muslim/christian would deep down inside, actually want to influence their spouses. That's just a part of what being devoted to religion is to some, sadly.

Sounds to me, to be honest, that the only option is for your sister to give room and that alone.
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Old 10-19-2011, 12:12 PM Straw Man is offline  
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