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barty
 
theNoid hit the nail on the head. I was in the same boat, were together 3 years had been engaged and she decided she was young, wasn't happy anymore, she didnt want to this.

There was another guy who she started fucking immediately after if she hadn't been already.

She tried talking to me and I told her I had nothing nice to say to her or about her and haven't looked back.

Go hang out with your friends, meet and talk to new girls
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Old 06-24-2009, 01:48 AM barty is offline  
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#31  

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Originally Posted by [Entropy] View Post
Well, I just got off the phone with her (she called ).

My main concern, other than the ended relationship, was losing my best friend. I'm a pretty good judge of character when it comes to her.

She is not with a guy, I know that. However, she wants to experience life and other guys I'd imagine. Thats understandable, we've been dating since we were 18/19 respectively and I sort of felt the same way. Thats more or less the closure I wanted so that works out.

That being said, I don't wanna lose my friend, gym buddy etc, as we have many mutual friends.

We decided we'd not talk for a week, see how things pan out and head to the gym or something.

I'm feeling alot better right now, but still kinda hurts that 4 years is gone. Atleast I have alot of good memories. Thanks [M].

Just a heads up, but the "other guy" scenario doesn't necessarily mean she has been cheating on you. Most likely in this case it means she's become interested in another guy but at least has the decency to break up with you before the two of them get together. C'est la vie, move on/
Old 06-24-2009, 03:24 AM trumpcard is offline  
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#32  

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This is a bit off topic - but how is cheating any different from breaking up with a guy with someone they already have in mind?

One you're leading a person on. THe other you aren't.
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Old 06-24-2009, 04:40 AM Coqui is offline  
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#33  

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Like everyone else has said, there is another guy. She might not have cheated on you with him, but she's thinking about him and he's definitely going to be in the picture as soon as you two are officially 'done'.

Keeping you as a friend is just a way for her to put you on hold to see if it's going to workout with this other dude, and if not she'll just come crawling back. My advice is move on as quickly as you can. Date other women. Enjoy this time of freedom.
Old 06-24-2009, 04:40 AM ScumBag is offline  
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#34  

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It is not a question of whether there is another guy, just how many other guys there are.

Sounds like she wants to keep you as a backup/emotional tampon. Either settle for that or tell her to fuck on off.

Do not see a relationship as wasted time though. These things happen. Not all relationships are destined for marriage- most certainly are not. Learn and move on.
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Old 06-24-2009, 05:11 AM vinnie is offline  
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there's not always another guy
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Old 06-24-2009, 06:04 AM apextual is offline  
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ScumBag
 
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there's not always another guy

Maybe not always but a high percentage of the time that's what it is...
Old 06-24-2009, 06:46 AM ScumBag is offline  
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AncientMarinade
 
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Maybe not always but a high percentage of the time that's what it is...

it's you, isn't it

you homewrecking bastard
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Old 06-24-2009, 07:08 AM AncientMarinade is offline  
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#38  

IBJanky
 
I'm gonna keep this straight up, and forgive me if this might sound harsh...

Whether you like it or not... there's a very high probability that there's already another guy in the picture you don't know about. Maybe she has not cheated on you yet, but there's a good chance that she already has lined up after you.

The sooner you get over her, the better off you'll be.

Be strong, stay occupied to keep your mind off things.

I know it's easier said than done, I went through the same kind of breakup a couple of years ago. But it can be done.

Time will heal all wounds.

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Old 06-24-2009, 09:39 AM IBJanky is offline  
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#39  

s0me0nesmind1
 
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One you're leading a person on. THe other you aren't.

You're leading them on just as much by not telling them your breaking up with them because of another interest they had been seeing behind their back. It's the same damn thing
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Old 06-24-2009, 09:42 AM s0me0nesmind1 is offline  
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You're leading them on just as much by not telling them your breaking up with them because of another interest they had been seeing behind their back. It's the same damn thing

So a girl breaking up with you rather than cheating on you is the exact same thing? Or are you talking about the "time to think" period?
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Old 06-24-2009, 10:10 AM Coqui is offline  
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#41  

[Entropy]
 
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I'm gonna keep this straight up, and forgive me if this might sound harsh...

Whether you like it or not... there's a very high probability that there's already another guy in the picture you don't know about. Maybe she has not cheated on you yet, but there's a good chance that she already has lined up after you.

The sooner you get over her, the better off you'll be.

Be strong, stay occupied to keep your mind off things.

I know it's easier said than done, I went through the same kind of breakup a couple of years ago. But it can be done.

Time will heal all wounds.

myke


Thanks alot.

I couldn't stay focused at work today, woe is me. Gonna head to gym and grab lunch with a couple buddies. I'm trying my best but its tough sometimes.
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Old 06-24-2009, 10:21 AM [Entropy] is offline  
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So a girl breaking up with you rather than cheating on you is the exact same thing?

Not the same thing of course, but just as morally wrong I would say yes. Assuming the girl is breaking up with you like it was being discussed which was that she already had a guy she had been considering, and broke up all emotionally like the OP's situation, but failed to mention the guy she has been considering is really the reason she wants to break up.
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Old 06-24-2009, 01:19 PM s0me0nesmind1 is offline  
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Not the same thing of course, but just as morally wrong I would say yes. Assuming the girl is breaking up with you like it was being discussed which was that she already had a guy she had been considering, and broke up all emotionally like the OP's situation, but failed to mention the guy she has been considering is really the reason she wants to break up.

As people generally structure relationships before marriage, you are free to leave for whatever reason you desire. You are not free to have sex with other people. If you decide to end a relationship to pursue someone else, there's no real moral reason you should have to tell the person you're breaking up with, as the relationship is over at that point. It is not exactly the nicest thing to do, but I can't see how it's "immoral."
Old 06-24-2009, 02:55 PM Gibonius is offline  
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As people generally structure relationships before marriage, you are free to leave for whatever reason you desire. You are not free to have sex with other people. If you decide to end a relationship to pursue someone else, there's no real moral reason you should have to tell the person you're breaking up with, as the relationship is over at that point. It is not exactly the nicest thing to do, but I can't see how it's "immoral."

Immoral in that there was already someone lined up. Persuing different people is way different than what Im talking about. What I mean is when they break up, shes already together with someone else the next day, obviously meaning there was something going on in the background (not necessarily sex).
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Old 06-24-2009, 03:57 PM s0me0nesmind1 is offline  
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