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Continental
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brkdncr View Post
Some people like the challenge, some don't. Either you put up with it or not. It's not irresponsible, it's a character trait.

It's a childish character trait that there is no room for in a truly loving, committed relationship. The fact that people think it's necessary to present "challenges" like this is plain retarded. If you love someone, you don't make that person compete for your love or else you'll leave them for someone else. Think about that for a minute.. It's amazingly childish.
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Old 06-29-2009, 09:27 AM Continental is offline  
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wilse
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brkdncr View Post
Some people like the challenge, some don't. Either you put up with it or not. It's not irresponsible, it's a character trait.

this is horrible advice
no healthy relationship should be built on a foundation of games
expecting your partner to suffer through "challenges" you come up with is childish, immature, and fucking stupid
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Old 06-29-2009, 09:56 AM wilse is offline  
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1. You have insecurity issues.
2. She has a lot of growing up to do.

1 + 2 = 3

3. End of relationship.

Neither of you will enjoy a fulfilling relationship until each of you resolves your personal issues. When the relationship ends, I'm sure you'll blame her, and she'll blame you (reasons above) and you'll probably both go on to repeat everything another few times before you finally tire of it all and realize you need to look in the mirror to fix the problem.
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Old 06-29-2009, 10:13 AM theNoid is offline  
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she's either fucking him again, or will be soon. That's why girls talk to exes, to keep safety dick around.
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Old 06-29-2009, 10:26 AM DigitalMocking is offline  
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wilse
 
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Originally Posted by theNoid View Post
1. You have insecurity issues.
2. She has a lot of growing up to do.

1 + 2 = 3

3. End of relationship.

Neither of you will enjoy a fulfilling relationship until each of you resolves your personal issues. When the relationship ends, I'm sure you'll blame her, and she'll blame you (reasons above) and you'll probably both go on to repeat everything another few times before you finally tire of it all and realize you need to look in the mirror to fix the problem.

i don't think you have to be insecure to be uncomfortable with your girlfriend maintaining secret communication with a serious-ex-boyfriend
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Old 06-29-2009, 11:01 AM wilse is offline  
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she's either fucking him again, or will be soon. That's why girls talk to exes, to keep safety dick around.

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Old 06-29-2009, 11:09 AM Coqui is offline  
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she's either fucking him again, or will be soon. That's why girls talk to exes, to keep safety dick around.

Good point.
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Old 06-29-2009, 12:01 PM BobSutan is offline  
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Electrikfuzz050
 
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Is she fucking him? Probably not. However, it obviously bothers you, and even if you do talk to her about it, she'll still keep talking to him if she wants to. I'd break up with her if it bothers you that much. Better to end it now than wait a few months and end up breaking it off anyway.
Old 06-29-2009, 01:45 PM Electrikfuzz050 is offline  
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#23  

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Quote:
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I have been dating this girl for 4 months.....she lives with me now

Mistake.

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we know each others passwords to our emails and stuff

Mistake.

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she's either fucking him again, or will be soon. That's why girls talk to exes, to keep safety dick around.



Even the most innocent girls enjoy sex....
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Old 06-29-2009, 02:45 PM oleo is offline  
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Quote:
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i don't think you have to be insecure to be uncomfortable with your girlfriend maintaining secret communication with a serious-ex-boyfriend

I agree. However going on her e-mail and myspace suggests some insecurity. The bottom line is, if it makes you uncomfortable, you confront her and she continues speaking to him then break it off. If you are more important to her than he is (you live with her for christ's sake let's hope so) she'll just blow him off. Living 1000+ miles away, it's not hard to break communication with people. If she does keep talking to him why would you want to be with her?
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Old 06-29-2009, 03:04 PM notoriouscwe is offline  
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theNoid
 
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Quote:
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i don't think you have to be insecure to be uncomfortable with your girlfriend maintaining secret communication with a serious-ex-boyfriend

I understand, but I'll disagree based completely on the fact that you either don't care, or you end the relationship. Dangling in between, snooping emails/myspace, being threatened by someone 1000 miles away and complaining is being generally insecure.

What are your options in a situation like this? You either are the type of person to be insecure, non confrontational and let the situation get the better of you. Or you either don't care, trust your partner or end the relationship.
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Old 07-01-2009, 06:13 PM theNoid is offline  
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wilse
 
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Quote:
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I understand, but I'll disagree based completely on the fact that you either don't care, or you end the relationship. Dangling in between, snooping emails/myspace, being threatened by someone 1000 miles away and complaining is being generally insecure.

What are your options in a situation like this? You either are the type of person to be insecure, non confrontational and let the situation get the better of you. Or you either don't care, trust your partner or end the relationship.

i think we are advocating the same thing - i'm just adding an intermediate step
here's how i see it:

-uncomfortable about the situation
-tell girl her actions are not cool
-if she doesn't stop, end the relationship

i think there's got to be some middle ground between "i don't give a fuck" and "dump the bitch"
at least give her a chance to show she prioritizes her current boyfriend over an ex
if she can't show that, then the way forward is pretty clear
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Old 07-01-2009, 06:18 PM wilse is offline  
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theNoid
 
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Quote:
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i think we are advocating the same thing - i'm just adding an intermediate step
here's how i see it:

-uncomfortable about the situation
-tell girl her actions are not cool
-if she doesn't stop, end the relationship

i think there's got to be some middle ground between "i don't give a fuck" and "dump the bitch"
at least give her a chance to show she prioritizes her current boyfriend over an ex
if she can't show that, then the way forward is pretty clear

Agreed.

No need to dwell on an issue like this. You bring it up, make it clear you won't deal with it and if it continues you end the relationship. Unfortunately some people love misery and are lonely so they stick around, loath in self pitty (like anyone cares), and spiral into insecurity.
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Old 07-02-2009, 10:31 AM theNoid is offline  
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#28  

flshdncr
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Quote:
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she's either fucking him again, or will be soon. That's why girls talk to exes, to keep safety dick around.

no.
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Old 07-03-2009, 01:08 AM flshdncr is offline  
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flshdncr
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look people, there's a lot more gonig on here then the OP is able to lay out. Or less. in fact, i re-read the OP and there's no mention that the girl is actually in contact with the guy other than a myspace friend. Who even uses myspace anymore?

Next, empied email. There are a million reasons why someone would clean out their email like that, and only one of them is "hide stuff from my boyfriend"

OP is jumping to conclusions. I don't know his relationship, but if this were my situation (and it wouldn't be), i'd tell the gf that I snooped through her email, saw it was emptied out completely, saw that she was friends on some social website with the ex, and then point-blank ask her if she's been talking with him. And why she emptied her email.

When it's all done, I'd ask her to change her passwords.
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Old 07-03-2009, 01:15 AM flshdncr is offline  
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