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Weirdo5z
 
Looking for flowchart to get a date...

Summarized back story for context: I'm 26/male, got a bachelor's degree in 2003, that same year I began my adult job and got an apartment, spent a month or two on my own, then my girlfriend moved in with me and we were domestic partners until January 2011 when we parted ways amicably. So now, after eight months and a few disastrously unsuccessful dates in my small hometown (who's population is 87% aged 35+), I've gone back to college to earn a new associates degree (this fits with my life goals, and also returns me to a better dating demographic).

My point: the social rules for dating are totally different then the social rules for maintaining a long-term partnership, and I'm still trying to use the "long-term" rules to pickup dates. Add to that, that my previous college roommate had parties regularly, so I never really learned to go out and meet people on my own... I have been making the effort to hit the bars/clubs in town (and tweak my outfits depending on the ridicule I receive). I don't have a problem actually walking up to someone, introducing myself, and chatting for a while, but even if I was to get a phone number, I'm not really sure what the college kids do with numbers (when is it appropriate to call versus text, do they even call anymore!?, I've been with 30-somethings since my last degree ended). Am I supposed to get a list of numbers on friday then make dinner dates through the week?

Can someone make a little flowchart or something on what process is supposed to be automatically happening when I see a woman I'm interested in?

Or, any other advice as necessary. Anything other than "just let it happen." I don't think that will work anymore.

Last edited by Weirdo5z; 09-11-2011 at 09:14 PM..
Old 09-11-2011, 09:08 PM Weirdo5z is offline  
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mainbrotha
 
You're making things way too complicated, here. You're also making it seem like you're years older than the college kids. And if you are older and more mature than them, do you really want to date them? Your criteria and your "rules" should be based around what you're looking for in a girl, not by "how the game is played."

You already said that you can go up to girls and introduce yourself and chat for a while. That's the most difficult part of it. If you like the person you're talking to, you ask them for their phone number and tell them that you'd like to take them out sometime. That kind of confidence is attractive to all women. After that you do whatever you want. Your only rule is to not be overbearing on them.

Forget the "flow chart". Just get out there and do it. You'll learn much better that way.
Old 09-11-2011, 10:19 PM mainbrotha is offline  
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asdsad
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you got your bachelors at 18?
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Old 09-12-2011, 10:55 AM asdsad is offline  
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Forever Domon
 
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are you just looking for something quick, or are you trying for the long-term again?
Old 09-12-2011, 11:04 AM Forever Domon is offline  
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2[H]4U
 
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how did you get a ba when most ppl at that age graduate hs?
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Old 09-14-2011, 12:43 AM 2[H]4U is offline  
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Coqui
 
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See girl --> Talk to girl --> Ask girl out to coffee or dinner.
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Old 09-14-2011, 04:49 AM Coqui is offline  
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Weirdo5z
 
Sorry for the misunderstanding. I started college when I was 18 (2003; my dates were wrong... editing OP...), got first degree after 4 years when I was 22 (2007), spent 4 years living in small town with girlfriend until I was 26 (beginning of 2011), now back in school; single and looking.

But mainbrotha had it right. I just need to keep chatting with folks, relax, and everything should start flowing again.

What am I looking for? Ultimately I'm looking for a life partner, but I'm under no delusion that you meet someone and instantly become married. For now, I'm just looking to meet fun people to go on dates and spend evenings together.

I should add, too, that the reason I've been going to the bar, rather then going to club meetings on campus is because it's usually pretty obvious at a bar if folks are available or not. I haven't figured out the socially appropriate way to ask a woman if she's in a monogamous relationship.

... apparently I cannot edit the original post anymore. Sorry for the confusion. I started college in 2003 and graduated in 2007.

Last edited by Weirdo5z; 09-14-2011 at 12:26 PM.. Reason: I need to do a better job of proofreading.
Old 09-14-2011, 12:23 PM Weirdo5z is offline  
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Foolioq
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Weirdo5z View Post
I haven't figured out the socially appropriate way to ask a woman if she's in a monogamous relationship.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" or mention her boyfriend and if she says "I don't have one." then she almost always doesn't.
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Old 09-14-2011, 02:53 PM Foolioq is offline  
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Coqui
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Weirdo5z View Post
Sorry for the misunderstanding. I started college when I was 18 (2003; my dates were wrong... editing OP...), got first degree after 4 years when I was 22 (2007), spent 4 years living in small town with girlfriend until I was 26 (beginning of 2011), now back in school; single and looking.

But mainbrotha had it right. I just need to keep chatting with folks, relax, and everything should start flowing again.

What am I looking for? Ultimately I'm looking for a life partner, but I'm under no delusion that you meet someone and instantly become married. For now, I'm just looking to meet fun people to go on dates and spend evenings together.

I should add, too, that the reason I've been going to the bar, rather then going to club meetings on campus is because it's usually pretty obvious at a bar if folks are available or not. I haven't figured out the socially appropriate way to ask a woman if she's in a monogamous relationship.

... apparently I cannot edit the original post anymore. Sorry for the confusion. I started college in 2003 and graduated in 2007.
.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coqui View Post
See girl --> Talk to girl --> Ask girl out to coffee or dinner.
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Old 09-14-2011, 03:40 PM Coqui is offline  
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Assyrian
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by asdsad View Post
you got your bachelors at 18?

Not too uncommon, there are a handful of 19/20 year olds in my med school class. Going to college at 14? lol no thx.
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Old 09-15-2011, 08:44 AM Assyrian is offline  
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asdsad
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okcupid.com
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Old 09-15-2011, 06:41 PM asdsad is offline  
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CommiePunk
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for a first date where you aren't even sure if the girl is that interested, i'd rather go out for drinks or something rather than offering to buy her dinner. Buying every girl dinner who gives you her number is a huge waste of cash. Plus girls are more likely to put out if you buy them drinks than they are if you buy them a steak.
Old 09-17-2011, 01:47 AM CommiePunk is offline  
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