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Sabbster]#
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Fucked over again

As the title says, I was fucked over again. I've been seeing someone for the last 3 months. It was a dumbfuck decision because she was in a bad marriage and obviously had baggage.... And I've been through all this shit before and don't know why I decided to do what I did. Long story short, it was good for a while. We talked constantly, shared a lot of intimacy blah blah blah. She finally left her husband at the beginning of the month and I knew shit would hit the fan. It did. She got distant, and I could feel her slipping away. I last talked to her on Sunday and we agreed that we'd see each other last night, but she ignored me all week and wouldn't return my calls or texts. I didn't blow her phone up or anything. I gave her space because her sister was in town and apparently going through some rough shit so I let her be. Somehow I knew it would happen, I just didn't want to believe it really would. I asked her if she was still interested in hanging out, and when I didn't get a response I knew what I had to do. Even if she already knew the score, I told her goodbye. I couldn't take the treatment anymore. It wasn't fair to me.

Needless to say, i've been drinking all night and chain smoking like a boss, because we all know that's the solution to any personal problem. It's hard to grasp all of this right now and thinking about the last 3 months really fucking sucks.

On top of all of this, my high school sweetheart and the first girl to ever fuck me over and leave me emotionally damaged just HAPPENED to walk back into my life and repent for all of her sins. Maybe it's because she's lonely, I don't know. She sought me out, I didn't go looking for her. I figured it would be nice after 4 years to finally hear what she had to say of her decision to screw me over since I was pretty much left in the dark about it, but she couldn't have had any worse timing. Any other day, I would have been fine with it but old wounds combined with new wounds equals a really shitty time.

I blame myself for that, but I'll probably never have an answer for my current situation, and that sucks worse than someone telling you why they don't want to see you anymore. Talk about being a fucking idiot. I suppose I'll never learn.

I really needed to vent. It's been a rough night for me. Judge me all you want, I know what I did was stupid. Everyone including the girl I just started talking to again says it wasn't my fault though, which is confusing. I knew what I was getting into, but she says it wasn't anything I did wrong. I guess she says it's a mental thing. Women who spend their lives being treated like shit and suddenly find themselves being treated good by someone tend to push that type of person away, which is what happened to me. It was nice to talk to her though. Even in light of all this and after everything that happened to us in high school and beyond, it's nice that I can pick up a conversation with her and talk for hours and actually laugh like I never have before. We understand each other so well. Too bad about the shitty previous relationship part.

Feel free to chip in on how retarded I am, and hell, if you have any suggestions on how I can get back on my feet and any methods you've used to get over the pain of being dumped, that would be nice too.
Old 11-17-2011, 02:33 AM Sabbster]# is offline  
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s0me0nesmind1
 
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You went for a girl and it didn't work out... I don't see what there is to judge you about persay. You can judge the girl but you don't know what she is going to do until you confirm it. My girl has a situation that makes her incredibly emotional (family) - but if I wasn't so close to her I could have easily mistaken it for some typical can't-give-up-ex/slut/crazy girl type...

Brochacho, you need to have 1-3 drinks (depending on your tolerance, never more than 3) and say "well, there's always tomorrow". The next day, wake up and go for a hard workout. Then just start DATING. When I was dating I didn't need to see a girl for a month to decide... I knew after the first date if a girl stood a shot. 6 dates later and the second I had any approval for one of them we entered into a relationship and it's been over a year so far. You just seem like someone that MUST have someone to hold onto at all times.


Send me (or post) a picture of yourself or something, I'm interested to see what your problem is. Maybe you're just emotional yourself...
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Old 11-17-2011, 12:33 PM s0me0nesmind1 is offline  
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kudos
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1. There is always someone better.

2. You're too good for her and her baggage.

Pick either of those and it should cheer you up. I just got out of a relationship with my girlfriend of 3 years last Sunday. Every time I start to feel like shit I just remember those two things and I feel less shitty for a while. Fuck women and their baggage. I'm waiting (probably forever) for a woman with as much baggage as me (hardly any). I'm not settling anymore and I suggest you do the same in the future.
Old 11-18-2011, 04:13 PM kudos is offline  
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She is not a lost to you. She is the one who lost big when she dump you.
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Old 11-21-2011, 01:02 AM josef91 is offline  
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Try not to get too emotionally vested in married women. Hard telling what she is going through right now, and probably not in a stable enough place to offer what you want anyways.

Enjoy the good memories. Look for mental/emotional stability in future partners.. they have a greater chance of appreciating a 'nice guy'. Or, just work on a mean streak!
Old 11-21-2011, 05:37 PM Hornswoggler1 is offline  
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dezerte
 
Here's an idea. Don't date American women.
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Old 11-21-2011, 09:20 PM dezerte is offline  
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Sabbster]#
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Quote:
Originally Posted by s0me0nesmind1 View Post
You went for a girl and it didn't work out... I don't see what there is to judge you about persay. You can judge the girl but you don't know what she is going to do until you confirm it. My girl has a situation that makes her incredibly emotional (family) - but if I wasn't so close to her I could have easily mistaken it for some typical can't-give-up-ex/slut/crazy girl type...

Brochacho, you need to have 1-3 drinks (depending on your tolerance, never more than 3) and say "well, there's always tomorrow". The next day, wake up and go for a hard workout. Then just start DATING. When I was dating I didn't need to see a girl for a month to decide... I knew after the first date if a girl stood a shot. 6 dates later and the second I had any approval for one of them we entered into a relationship and it's been over a year so far. You just seem like someone that MUST have someone to hold onto at all times.


Send me (or post) a picture of yourself or something, I'm interested to see what your problem is. Maybe you're just emotional yourself...

I'm not going to post a picture of myself, because I don't have image issues. I think I am and I'm always told (shit, I hung out with relationship 1 girl this weekend and got told we were a very sexy couple, even though we didn't tell them we weren't together) that I'm a good looking guy. My problem is that I get emotionally involved with the wrong women. The ones with baggage.These are women who can't commit to what I have to offer, and it's always been a problem for me. We like each other, but they're so damn tied up with their own past that I get caught up in the whole situation and I'm the one who ends up paying for it. I know it was a conscious decision for me to make. I just felt like this would be different.

I have talked to plenty of attractive women in the past, a lot of them single, but I've never been able to break the social barrier with them. When the girl is attractive AND unavailable, that barrier is broken and defused and I can talk to them because i'm in a mental state that says "she's unavailable, you'll never be with her. You can be yourself now." Talk about a double edged sword.

It happened both times with these girls. We started off as friends, then became good friends. Pretty soon they're clamoring for my attention, I get sucked in and the next thing I know I'm the rebound and I'm being dumped.

It doesn't matter how good I treated them, when they're done with me they're done.
Old 11-22-2011, 11:01 AM Sabbster]# is offline  
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Sabbster]#
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Thanks to those who responded. I expected more scrutiny from you, so it's good that you're telling me what everyone I know IRL has told me. It definitely makes me feel better that I've told so many people what I did and very few of them are blaming me wholly, if at all.
Old 11-22-2011, 11:03 AM Sabbster]# is offline  
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s0me0nesmind1
 
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hate to say it but I have to admit that is why I LOVE online dating. It instantly breaks that friends barrier because you both know what you're there for. Just an off-topic 2cents for ya.
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Old 11-22-2011, 01:48 PM s0me0nesmind1 is offline  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabbster]# View Post

I have talked to plenty of attractive women in the past, a lot of them single, but I've never been able to break the social barrier with them. When the girl is attractive AND unavailable, that barrier is broken and defused and I can talk to them because i'm in a mental state that says "she's unavailable, you'll never be with her. You can be yourself now." Talk about a double edged sword.

I do that too. There's basically no pressure or expectations when you're talking to an unavailable woman, so you can be your relaxed, funny self, which ends up attracting them. Whenever I talk to single girls, I feel like the whole courtship thing is too obvious/cheesy and I end up friendzoning them. Admittedly, I'm just attracted to women who are taken .
Old 11-22-2011, 02:24 PM chronage is offline  
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Sabbster]#
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Well, here's a little update:

I hadn't heard from her in almost a month when suddenly she texted me out of the blue on monday. Said she was sorry to bug me and that she missed talking to me but understands if I never want to talk to her again.

To which I reply "What the FUCK did I even do to deserve being blown off and ignored in the first place?"

Again she apologized and said I didn't do anything. I made a comment about how she just disappeared on me, to which she again responded: "blah blah blah I'm really sorry I never wanted to hurt you blah blah blah I don't want a relationship yet blah blah blah I still really miss you as a friend blah blah blah"

Yeah, sure. Dump my ass and then come back a few weeks later and try to friend zone me. That'll work. Sorry, but I've already filled my "allow a woman who fucked me over back into my life" quota for the next 10 years.

I told her I was and am hurt by what she did and that it wasn't fair. I haven't heard back from her since.

Women are so fucking retarded....





















































I'll probably end up calling her anyway because men are fucking retarded.
Old 12-08-2011, 12:54 PM Sabbster]# is offline  
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Artesial
 
You shouldn't have even replied and deleted the text and her phone # from yours.
Old 12-08-2011, 02:34 PM Artesial is offline  
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Sabbster]#
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I hate not having answers. I needed to know what her rationale behind ignoring me was. It would have driven me nuts not knowing, which is why I replied. I was doing fine, and it was surprising she tried to get a hold of me. She's the kind of person that likes to run away instead of confronting a problem.

I'm not going to make nice with her, but maybe I can get some closure and return some of the misery she caused me
Old 12-08-2011, 08:29 PM Sabbster]# is offline  
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Not sure what girl you're talking about anymore, but quit being emo and get over it. Ignore them and meet new girls. Your problems are trivial--you aren't dying of cancer, homeless, or, worst of all, lacking internet access. It's not the end of the world.

tl;dr man the fuck up
Old 12-08-2011, 10:15 PM chronage is offline  
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Sabbster]#
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chronage View Post
Not sure what girl you're talking about anymore, but quit being emo and get over it. Ignore them and meet new girls. Your problems are trivial--you aren't dying of cancer, homeless, or, worst of all, lacking internet access. It's not the end of the world.

tl;dr man the fuck up

No shit. Maybe I should just turn my man card in.
Old 12-08-2011, 10:41 PM Sabbster]# is offline  
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