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Sf_J
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Do you share a bathroom with your roommates or have a private one? If you have a shared bathroom you have to consider the time and space she takes (does she leave toiletries?) and honestly just the fact she's a girl might make your roommate uncomfortable to have her come and go as she pleases. I always found it startling when I came home to a guy in my house (who was not my roommate) and wished I was consulted before extra keys were given out, but it might be different for women?

I'm sure you can figure out some agreement without being vengeful and spiteful. Changing things up just to inconvenience your roommate is passive aggressive and doesn't solve your conflicts. Offer to pay more (she really is like an extra roommate, whether she keeps to your room or not) to compensate for the utilities or whatever. $20-30 extra is fair imo. And if his monopolizing the living room bothers you, you should address that, but not in a tit-for-tat kind of way.
Old 10-30-2009, 12:50 AM Sf_J is offline  
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Golf(e)
 
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A solution is not to do things like randomly canceling the internet service. Unless you want to start some sort of ongoing feud between the two of you. whats the point of that?

A reasonable thing to do would be to discuss things like logical human beings. Hell, show him this thread, i dont know (or maybe not). Reaching some sort of compromise is better than trying to fuck with him in any way you can hoping it will "put him in his place"
All it will really do is make him be even more of a dick.

And you have another roommate. Does he agree? Why dont you both sit him down and tell him youre tired of his shit
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Old 10-30-2009, 03:52 AM Golf(e) is offline  
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#17  

_mike_
 
kinda sounds like your girlfriend is "living" there, so he has a point about extra bills. BUT

1) charge each of his friends $10,
2) blackmail him

having problematic roommates is all about who can be the biggest dick. if you're unwilling to be a dick back you may as well just move out, because being nice never works.
Old 10-30-2009, 03:59 AM _mike_ is offline  
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#18  

chin311
 
I can relate to this scenario, as my g/f spends 90% of her time @ my place with my 1 roommate.

He has no issues, well he's gone the majority of the time anyway, but has never once complained about her being here, she cleans the house and doesn't have any problems with him and vice-versa. the bills for the house & utilities etc have been the EXACT same as before she was here, so whats the difference?

You need a new roommate or your own place, the guy sounds like a douche x2.
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Old 10-30-2009, 06:28 AM chin311 is offline  
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#19  

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How about having a mature conversation? Is that idea so crazy? You both have valid complaints. You rent the room, not your girlfriend, her being there when you aren't is something for him to be bothered by.

if you're really bothered by the friends he brings over and the pot he smokes, then deal with it, don't just bring it up to be a bitch.

If you can't discuss it rationally, just tell him to shut the fuck up, your girl won't clean up any more, and here's 10 bucks for the utilities.
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Old 10-30-2009, 06:43 AM DigitalMocking is offline  
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#20  

wilse
 
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why can't she just wait until you get home to come over?
i can almost guarantee the problem isn't that she spends time there
it is most likely about the fact that she is often there when you, the rent paying actual roommate, are not there
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Old 10-30-2009, 08:10 AM wilse is offline  
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#21  

Foolioq
 
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Originally Posted by wilse View Post
it is most likely about the fact that she is often there when you, the rent paying actual roommate, are not there

That might not bother me, but I can understand how he feels.
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Old 10-30-2009, 09:14 AM Foolioq is offline  
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#22  

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Personally if it was me, i'd have whipped out a $20 and told him to stfu about it then. If he wants another 20 bux a month to not be a bitch fine.

It's not right, but sometimes it's the easiest way.
Old 10-30-2009, 09:33 AM DarkHelmet is offline  
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#23  

Golf(e)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by _mike_ View Post
kinda sounds like your girlfriend is "living" there, so he has a point about extra bills. BUT

1) charge each of his friends $10,
2) blackmail him

having problematic roommates is all about who can be the biggest dick. if you're unwilling to be a dick back you may as well just move out, because being nice never works.
This is idiotic.
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Old 10-30-2009, 12:34 PM Golf(e) is offline  
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#24  

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Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkHelmet View Post
Personally if it was me, i'd have whipped out a $20 and told him to stfu about it then. If he wants another 20 bux a month to not be a bitch fine.

It's not right, but sometimes it's the easiest way.
This is idiotic.
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Old 10-30-2009, 12:34 PM Golf(e) is offline  
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#25  

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I'm going to answer this OP from personal experience, and I mean every word of it.

You are a roommate, your girlfriend is not. She is more than welcome to come visit you whenever you please, however she has no reason to be there whenever you are not.. unless of course other roommates let her in. Comparing your girlfriend to his visitors is nothing more than you denying the obvious. Your girlfriend is the 4th roommate, and she isn't paying a dime.

Considering she is also spending the night 4+ nights a week, she basically lives there. Don't you see this? Or are you blinded by your self perception as the 'perfect' roommate?

You are not the perfect roommate. I've lived with messy, loud, rent late roommates but the absolute worst kind (IMO) are the ones who try to basically move their damn girlfriend in for free, then expect everyone to think its ok. I would rather live with a messy, loud roommate who pays rent late, over someone like you. There are certain things that people do, that get under the skin of other roommates. Then there are things people do that piss off the other roommates.

Having your buddies over to 'hang' out is completely different from having a free loader basically living at the house, using the utilities, and doing all of this while you aren't even there. His buddies leave at the end of the night, and thats the difference. They aren't living there, utility usage is a dumb argument. The 2 of you can have a list war, and you can each list all the naughty things you don't like about each others behavior. But none of that matters because the bottom line here is ... your girlfriend is the 4th roommate, freeloading. I don't care how sweet and caring she is. I don't care if you never come out of your room.. she is freeloading and living at the house. <---period

I'm sure you're a nice guy, and I'm sure you do not mean any harm. But you are currently breaking one of the unwritten rules of roommate code. DON'T MOVE YOUR FUCKING GIRLFRIEND IN.

In my past experiences dealing with this, I was your roommate (w/o the buddies coming over) and I contacted the landlord who told my roommate this his gf didn't owe rent, but had to pay her percentage of all utilities in the house. Needless to say, when the bill came she had him pay it and he had enough of that real quick. If you're willing to double up on your share of the utilities to have your girlfriend lay with you, offer it. If not... you're an ass. When and if his friends start spending the night 4+ nights a week on regular basis, you can demand the same from him.

Until then, you are in the wrong.

edit. And I'm willing to bet the landlord would agree.

DOUBLE EDIT. I got the best solution for you. Why don't you go spend the night at her place 4+ nights a week and see how her roommates/parents take to it. In addition, let yourself into her place when she isn't even home. I'm sure that'll go over real great.

It isn't about money as much as it is about principle.
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Last edited by theNoid; 10-30-2009 at 08:21 PM..
Old 10-30-2009, 08:02 PM theNoid is offline  
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#26  

Aronomy
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Add her to the lease as a fourth roommate, and since she is sharing the room with you just claim she is paying you half of what you pay every month. Offer to split the utilities 4 ways (you have to pay two, though, so it will be more money).


I hate people who argue about gf/bf's sleeping over, it's just given that it's going to happen every night . I usually end up having to find an entirely new place to rent.
Old 10-30-2009, 09:51 PM Aronomy is offline  
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#27  

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living habits should be discussed and certain things, like guests policy, should be in writing and in the lease agreement before you even agree to become roommates
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Old 10-30-2009, 10:08 PM matt00926 is offline  
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#28  

Adi0o0o
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sf_J View Post
Do you share a bathroom with your roommates or have a private one? If you have a shared bathroom you have to consider the time and space she takes (does she leave toiletries?) and honestly just the fact she's a girl might make your roommate uncomfortable to have her come and go as she pleases. I always found it startling when I came home to a guy in my house (who was not my roommate) and wished I was consulted before extra keys were given out, but it might be different for women?

I'm sure you can figure out some agreement without being vengeful and spiteful. Changing things up just to inconvenience your roommate is passive aggressive and doesn't solve your conflicts. Offer to pay more (she really is like an extra roommate, whether she keeps to your room or not) to compensate for the utilities or whatever. $20-30 extra is fair imo. And if his monopolizing the living room bothers you, you should address that, but not in a tit-for-tat kind of way.

I have my own bathroom, which is shared with me and my roommate andy ( who is never here)... its in the hallway. Nick pays a little extra on the lease because he has a master bedroom and a bathroom.


from what i gather here....i have to legit options to take.

1. say, " what will make you quit giving me problems? and extra 15-20? a month for electricity? (she doesnt takes baths here or have any of her shit here)... and leave it at that?


2. or say... " fine she wont be here anymore while i am not in the house, period. However, that being said ... im going to have to enforce some of my own rules... like, not smoking pot around the house, at all. If i smell it, we're are going to have problems. I also do not want anybody playing the electric guitar in the living room on weekdays, because it bothers me and i am trying to sleep. If you want to step on my toes, im going to step on yours, its only fair.


basically, ill be fine paying a few extra dollars more for her using the utilities... which would only be my 2 energy efficient lightbulbs and my small television in my room. for a few hours a night ( remember, she gets to my house at 2am and waits till 4-6, when i get off work.... and most of the time she just crashes in my bed and goes to bed until i get home.)... and i work 4 nights a week total....

but if he wants to charge me out the ass, as a her being a full blown roommate... ill flip out... im going to have a talk with him tomorrow, since today i havent been home at all.
Old 10-30-2009, 10:46 PM Adi0o0o is offline  
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#29  

Adi0o0o
 
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Originally Posted by wilse View Post
why can't she just wait until you get home to come over?
i can almost guarantee the problem isn't that she spends time there
it is most likely about the fact that she is often there when you, the rent paying actual roommate, are not there

becuase man... i work 3rd shift and get home at like 4-6am..... do i expect her to stay awake until then?.... she normally comes at crashes at my house at 2am ( after she gets home from work, tired)....

when i get home, she wakes up.. we chill for an hour or 2, and off to bed we go.... then we wake up and hang out or go out to eat...
Old 10-30-2009, 10:49 PM Adi0o0o is offline  
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