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im2smrt4u
 
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What should I do? (G/F problems)

I'm not one to post relationship problems, but here it goes...please read this and see if you can help me...

I hang out in a small group of friends both at school and during free time. There are two couples in the group (two of my friends and their g/f's) that are cool, plus a couple girls that seem uniterested in men, if you know what I mean.

However there is one girl and her "boyfriend" (and I use that term lightly) that I'm having trouble with. I have a serious crush on the girl, but she is in a pseudo-relationship with this guy.

Here is my problem. The guy is a total asshat to this girl, and my friends and I all see it. In fact, I think she sees it too! He pushes her around and controls everything she does like he owns her! It makes me, and even some of my friends, very angry to see what he does to her! Sometimes, I just want to beat the living fuck out of this asshole!

I can't stop thinking about her, and I'm pretty sure she at least knows that I like her, but maybe not exactly how I feel. All my friends think she would be better off with me than getting pushed around by this ass. How can I show her how I feel and maybe convince her to dump her asshole boyfriend?
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Old 01-20-2003, 05:03 PM im2smrt4u is offline  
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Arseface
 
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Seriously though - did you try talking to her? Start by asking her how she feels about this guy, and tell her that you're concerned about the way he's treating her (show her you care) and see how she responds. You can go from there with more certainty then.
Old 01-20-2003, 05:06 PM Arseface is offline  
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The only way that you can/should intervene is to take her aside one day (either go to her house or meet her for coffee alone) and tell her what you and your friends have been seeing, and let her know that you like her and you're there for her if she needs you. The rest is up to her to work out. Good luck dude.
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Old 01-20-2003, 05:07 PM Lyndzie_kitten is offline  
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lyndzie_kitten
The only way that you can/should intervene is to take her aside one day (either go to her house or meet her for coffee alone) and tell her what you and your friends have been seeing, and let her know that you like her and you're there for her if she needs you. The rest is up to her to work out. Good luck dude.
See - even a girl agrees with me.
Old 01-20-2003, 05:09 PM Arseface is offline  
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im2smrt4u
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lyndzie_kitten
The only way that you can/should intervene is to take her aside one day (either go to her house or meet her for coffee alone) and tell her what you and your friends have been seeing, and let her know that you like her and you're there for her if she needs you. The rest is up to her to work out. Good luck dude.
Sounds like an idea, but that is another problem. Her "boyfriend" is extremely paranoid, and he watches her like a vulture! In fact, he has even threatened my friends and I! This is one of the main reasons I want to beat his ass!

Plus, she thinks she has to get his permission to do anything! My friends and I almost have to abduct her for her to go anywhere!
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Old 01-20-2003, 05:11 PM im2smrt4u is offline  
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Lyndzie_kitten
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Go to her house when you know she's gonna be alone (as in, no boyfriend) and talk to her then. If he knows you're talking to her, he'll probably do something really stupid, and if you fight with him, she will be less likely to listen to you. Don't let her know how much you want to beat his ass either. Because doing so might make her "angry" or whatever.
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Old 01-20-2003, 05:14 PM Lyndzie_kitten is offline  
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Old 01-20-2003, 05:16 PM masamune is offline  
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im2smrt4u
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lyndzie_kitten
Go to her house when you know she's gonna be alone (as in, no boyfriend) and talk to her then. If he knows you're talking to her, he'll probably do something really stupid, and if you fight with him, she will be less likely to listen to you. Don't let her know how much you want to beat his ass either. Because doing so might make her "angry" or whatever.
I know, I don't plan on telling her.

She starts work at 5:30, so she's probably already gone. She doesn't get off work until 11:30 tonight and her b/f is probably going to take her home and will probably stay for a while...

However, she needs a ride home from school on Wed, and her b/f can't take her home. I usually take another friend (one of the cool guys) home at the same time. Should I just ask my friend if he can get a ride with someone else? Taking her home alone would allow me at least a little time with her...
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Old 01-20-2003, 05:19 PM im2smrt4u is offline  
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im2smrt4u
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by masamune
http://upload.ipaska.net/012003/box.jpg
The guy is a scrawny motherfucker. I know I could snap him in two if I wanted to, but I don't think that would win any points with the girl...
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Old 01-20-2003, 05:20 PM im2smrt4u is offline  
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Old 01-20-2003, 05:35 PM masamune is offline  
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You can try to talk to her but don't expect her to change, There may be a hard to overcome psychological reason she is in a controlling relationship.
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Old 01-20-2003, 05:41 PM Soybomb is offline  
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Quote:
Originally posted by im2smrt4u
I know, I don't plan on telling her.

She starts work at 5:30, so she's probably already gone. She doesn't get off work until 11:30 tonight and her b/f is probably going to take her home and will probably stay for a while...

However, she needs a ride home from school on Wed, and her b/f can't take her home. I usually take another friend (one of the cool guys) home at the same time. Should I just ask my friend if he can get a ride with someone else? Taking her home alone would allow me at least a little time with her...
Sounds good...
Old 01-20-2003, 05:42 PM Arseface is offline  
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i agree with the whole taking her off to the side and explaining it to her. is the asshole a part of the group of friends? if he is its gonna get very complicated but if hes just kinda a guy that hangs around and gets everybody pissed off and annoyed it can be easier to deal with of course... this is where the whole "bros before hoes" comes into play (kinda) .... dont ruin an already existing friendship for a chance with a girlfriend that probably wont last....
Old 01-20-2003, 06:52 PM RedTalon19 is offline  
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Quote:
Originally posted by masamune
http://upload.ipaska.net/012003/charges.gif
so unbelievably true. girls =
Old 01-20-2003, 07:18 PM ArpaWocky is offline  
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im2smrt4u
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by RedTalon19
i agree with the whole taking her off to the side and explaining it to her. is the asshole a part of the group of friends? if he is its gonna get very complicated but if hes just kinda a guy that hangs around and gets everybody pissed off and annoyed it can be easier to deal with of course... this is where the whole "bros before hoes" comes into play (kinda) .... dont ruin an already existing friendship for a chance with a girlfriend that probably wont last....
Yes, he is part of the group of friends, but I'd hardly consider him a friend. In fact, I wouldn't mind if I never saw him again! I wouldn't be ruining anything!
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Old 01-21-2003, 07:19 AM im2smrt4u is offline  
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