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cokezeroholic
 
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Yeah, probably right. When it comes to these situations though, her still living at home and the father's hatred for anything non-asian, it's like it's not even worth it.
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Old 12-14-2010, 07:51 PM cokezeroholic is offline  
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Foolioq
 
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Originally Posted by Pepsiholic View Post
Unless your girlfriend is totally under the control of her father, then it doesn't matter what he thinks. Hell, confront him about it and ask him what the big deal is if he starts to act like a bigot. Even better, ask him what his opinions are on mixed grandchildren. But do this right after you leave or something, it'll make him flip his lid. Of course, your girl would probably get chewed out afterward but it'd still be entertaining.

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He's probably just too proud to accept anything else for him and his daughter. Another thing comes to mind. If a discussion about this comes up between you and him, ask him if he favors his beliefs over his daughter's happiness.

This will just fuel the fire, do not do either of these things to garner any bad feelings. You do not want him to become emotional. This advice is not constructive, this is confrontational. This will not make for a good relationship.

Maybe he had something happen in his childhood where someone white picked on him or beat him up or something then insulted his race. Don't "confront" him, but have an open forum about his opinions and views (however much you may not like them) so he is comfortable and begins to see reason. He will learn to accept you, but maybe not all white people, for who you are. Find some common ground with him. This will take some effort, but it depends if the girl is worth it or not to you.

If I were you, and this girl wasn't worth it, I'd say fuck it. They're are many other girls out their with non-racist fathers.
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Old 12-14-2010, 07:58 PM Foolioq is offline  
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chuckybob
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This will just fuel the fire, do not do either of these things to garner any bad feelings. You do not want him to become emotional. This advice is not constructive, this is confrontational. This will not make for a good relationship.

Maybe he had something happen in his childhood where someone white picked on him or beat him up or something then insulted his race. Don't "confront" him, but have an open forum about his opinions and views (however much you may not like them) so he is comfortable and begins to see reason. He will learn to accept you, but maybe not all white people, for who you are. Find some common ground with him. This will take some effort, but it depends if the girl is worth it or not to you.

and i really dont think youre gonna be able to reason with an old racist. the young ones are stubborn enough. either the chick is worth the trouble of dealing with the old bastard or she isnt.
Old 12-14-2010, 08:51 PM chuckybob is offline  
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Trachei
 
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Okay look. Everyone here keeps trying to say that the OP needs to prove himself. What kind of BS is this. Follow this and become a man.

He needs to say, "You mad?" with an I don't care attitude, as if you are actually asking if he's mad. After he says that, he then needs to be REAL and say something like this:

"Sir, I'm not an expert on Asian culture. But, here's what I know. I love your daughter. I care for her and I put her first.

I'm sure you have dreams for your daughter and want the best for her. I would want the same for my daughter. Let's sit down and have a conversation, we might have more in common than you think."

If he answers yes, sit down and have a real conversation. If he says no, you've proven to your girl that you are the higher gentleman and now her father looks like a complete asshole. You've now won.

Last edited by Trachei; 12-14-2010 at 09:07 PM..
Old 12-14-2010, 08:56 PM Trachei is offline  
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topcat989
 
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and i really dont think youre gonna be able to reason with an old racist. the young ones are stubborn enough. either the chick is worth the trouble of dealing with the old bastard or she isnt.

took what I said and said it more succinctly.
Old 12-14-2010, 11:39 PM topcat989 is offline  
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RedEyes
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You won't change his mind, and his foolishness says everything about him, and nothing about you.

I'm sure his daughter is lovely... but remember who her dad is. Not saying she's racist too, obviously, but his influence as a parent informs her identity, good, bad, or indifferent. Anything done in reaction is usually over reaction when it comes to people.

As a shot in the dark, I'd wager time will show her to be a piece of work in the long run.

Why'd she share this downer information from you? What is she hoping to accomplish by telling you what he thinks/says about you when you're not around? She wants you to do something in response. What are the likely actions you could take and how constructive would they be?

This isn't a cultural thing either... she sounds like she likes chaos.
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Old 12-15-2010, 12:41 AM RedEyes is offline  
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Foolioq
 
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and i really dont think youre gonna be able to reason with an old racist. the young ones are stubborn enough. either the chick is worth the trouble of dealing with the old bastard or she isnt.

I used to hate dogs, then I had one. Now, I love dogs because I understand what there is to like about them.

Its not hard for people to change, but they have to have a good enough reason.

Listen to Trachei, OP.
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Old 12-15-2010, 04:32 PM Foolioq is offline  
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chuckybob
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I used to hate dogs, then I had one. Now, I love dogs because I understand what there is to like about them.

Its not hard for people to change, but they have to have a good enough reason.

Listen to Trachei, OP.

and have you ever met a dog that really doesnt like you? how easy was it to change his mind?


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Originally Posted by RedEyes View Post
You won't change his mind, and his foolishness says everything about him, and nothing about you.

I'm sure his daughter is lovely... but remember who her dad is. Not saying she's racist too, obviously, but his influence as a parent informs her identity, good, bad, or indifferent. Anything done in reaction is usually over reaction when it comes to people.

As a shot in the dark, I'd wager time will show her to be a piece of work in the long run.

Why'd she share this downer information from you? What is she hoping to accomplish by telling you what he thinks/says about you when you're not around? She wants you to do something in response. What are the likely actions you could take and how constructive would they be?

This isn't a cultural thing either... she sounds like she likes chaos.

holy shit, THIS
Old 12-15-2010, 07:40 PM chuckybob is offline  
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cokezeroholic
 
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I used to hate dogs, then I had one. Now, I love dogs because I understand what there is to like about them.

Its not hard for people to change, but they have to have a good enough reason.

Listen to Trachei, OP.
Dogs aren't people.

It is really, REALLY hard for people to change. Especially when it's an old stubborn man.

The only person the OP need to listen to is himself, mainly his heart.
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Old 12-15-2010, 10:17 PM cokezeroholic is offline  
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#24  

Shinespark
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Yeah in the end it's up to the OP, although he should remember older people tend to hold on to their beliefs. If your girlfriend doesn't mind you, and obviously she doesn't then it shouldn't matter. Most dads don't like the guy(s) who are diddling their daughters racial points aside. Just be respectful and don't let it get to you, it isn't like you have to live with her family, although you do have to respect them since it's her family. Go along to get along if you can, be nice and your girlfriend will respect you for trying even though she knows papa doesn't like you. Besides if you are nice and he is being the dickhole, she might stand up for you.
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Old 12-16-2010, 08:14 PM Shinespark is offline  
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Trachei
 
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Yeah in the end it's up to the OP, although he should remember older people tend to hold on to their beliefs. If your girlfriend doesn't mind you, and obviously she doesn't then it shouldn't matter. Most dads don't like the guy(s) who are diddling their daughters racial points aside. Just be respectful and don't let it get to you, it isn't like you have to live with her family, although you do have to respect them since it's her family. Go along to get along if you can, be nice and your girlfriend will respect you for trying even though she knows papa doesn't like you. Besides if you are nice and he is being the dickhole, she might stand up for you.

Nice with a backbone is what is needed for sure
Old 12-18-2010, 01:14 PM Trachei is offline  
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