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FM 2347
I am offended by the world isajeep.
"Breaking up" with a female friend. How do you do it?

Well I had my other post about the girl I liked and it came to a pretty good conclusion. I know she doesn't feel the same way about me, as I do her, and honestly it's too painful for me to see her as a "friend". How can I let her go without ignoring her. To put if bluntly, a guy can say "Be my Boyfriend", or "We can't be friends". What do I do if she want's to be friends and I don't? I want to let her go, but not in the way of "bitch....quit talking to me!!!". Is it even possible to do it nicely? My weak point with this girl is that I don't like it when her feelings are hurt. But I think it's time to start looking out for mine. I'm getting pretty tired of flushing my feelings when she does something, or doesn't do something that makes me feel awful.

Last edited by FM 2347; 04-07-2003 at 04:09 AM..
Old 04-07-2003, 04:00 AM FM 2347 is offline  
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I don't know sorry

Best advice I can offer is be honest about it, 'white lies' are rarely as useful in the long term as people think.
Old 04-07-2003, 04:54 AM vinnie is offline  
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I've been through a similar thing in recent months. I told her how I felt and that I wasn't pushing my feelings aside anymore. This pissed her off and now she's basically out of my life. It's unfortunate, because I really cared about her, and I would have liked to have had her around, even as a friend, but I couldn't sit there and watch her dating someone that wasn't me. I couldn't think about her being intimate with anyone but me (even though we had never been intimate before). I had always done the "nice guy" thing of just pretending it didn't bother me and telling her that she was my friend and that was what mattered the most, but that wasn't true. The truth was that I wanted her for me, and I wanted her to want me for her, but that wasn't the case, so I had to walk away to keep from getting hurt again.

Tell her how you feel. Tell her you're not going to stick around and watch her give to other guys what you feel should be yours and that you can't do that because it hurts too much. Let it go. She'll get pissed and then it'll be done with. To be honest about my situation, I do miss having her as a friend. We had stimulating conversations, great fun, and all of that, but the pain of seeing her give her love to someone else was more than the joy of being her friend, so I had to cut her loose.
The world is my oyster...

I hate shellfish!

"Now pick something you have always wanted to do...and do it."

"got more room to fill my party boat with dick loving females. :D " - FM 2347
Old 04-07-2003, 07:04 AM Mogwai is offline  
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just drift your ass out of her life.
you can never be cool, unless you drive stick.

Old 04-07-2003, 07:22 AM elysian is offline  
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why break up with her at all? Ya know what, if you had a hottie that you were banging on a daily basis, i seriously doubt you would care so much about this friend situation... you are just obsessing over this one, cause there is no one else around...

A female friend is an GREAT asset. If she won't get with you, so what?!?! Females can get other females like no ones business!!! Go out with this girl, and get her to get girls for you! Have fun with her. If she won't help you find girls, find one who will, and let your "friend" watch you in action.

Ironically, it's also the BEST way to get this girl you're obsessing over. Social proof my friend. If a girl sees you picking up all the other girls, she's gonna want you too! She'll see you're the man! Read this for further informaiton
Old 04-07-2003, 07:42 AM Jynus is offline  
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FM 2347
I am offended by the world isajeep.
Well this girll told me 3 weeks ago that she didnt want to speak to me because she thought I was up to something. I acted like I didnt care and she apologized for me to come back a day later, but I was out on spring break filling my party boat with dick loving females. So I'm well prepared to let her go. I do need to get some more girls in my life but its not happening with this girl. I always ask her about other girls and she hates them all. I guess I can keep her as a friend, but since I'm not going to make any effort in the relationship, she might as well go, unless she's gonna offer up some pussy.

This girl doesn't even let me cuddle. She got mad because I touched her leg. Honestly I think I'm wasting quality time here. She can go fuck some other guy, and I'll have fun elsewhere......well come to think of it, I was never having fun with her, but I already am having fun elswhere.

Last edited by FM 2347; 04-07-2003 at 08:46 AM..
Old 04-07-2003, 08:05 AM FM 2347 is offline  
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you know one minute you sound like a sweet guy , one minute you care about her the next minute you just want pussy...make up your mind. Don't you think that she can pick up on that, you are hot one minute cold the next. Maybe the distance she puts between you is because she thinks you are going to just fuck her and dump her, and I would agree with her. You obviously see something in her so if she doesnt want to date you and just wants to be friends then just be friends. I fail to see why this is so hard. Once you make up your mind about whether all you want is sex or not it should be clear. If you want a relationship with her the dating or friendship should be ok, depending on what she decides (if you want to be with her like you say you do)
Old 04-07-2003, 09:12 AM contradiction27 is offline  
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Originally posted by contradiction27
you know one minute you sound like a sweet guy , one minute you care about her the next minute you just want pussy...
Sweet guys aren't supposed to want to get laid?

FM 2347, I've been in the exact same situation once before. I was really good friends with a girl, and I ended up sorta falling for her. I kept it to myself as long as I could, but I finally ended up asking her out. She said no, and I tried to deal with it, but the pain of seeing her date other guys hurt too much. I sat her down and said "I don't think we can be friends any more". I explained how I felt, and we ended up parting ways on amicable terms.

A year or so later, I was over her and able to sort of be friends with her. I see her once in a while now, but we're nowhere near as close as we were before.

So basically, tell her flat out how you feel and that you can't be friends with her any more. If she expects you to respect her feelings, then she should also respect your decision to part ways with her. And believe it or not, it's easier to "break up" with a chick like this than it is to break up with a chick you're actually dating.
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Old 04-07-2003, 01:49 PM TheFleshRocket is offline  
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you could try what I do when I dont like people anymore.... Don't call them, insult her in some way and she'll never talk to you again....
:-) smile!!
Old 04-07-2003, 04:50 PM Your*DREAMGIRL* is offline  
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How old are you? jeez.
I don't know where this Jynus person came from, but listen to his/her advice. You act and tell us you have these feeling for this chick, and then you act like it's nothing. I think you reread your post and realized who much of a puss you sounded like and tried to play it off. Feelings are one thing you should never play with. Thou you seem to have an attitude of if i can't have her then no one can. Which is why you don't want her to be with someone else.

I say, stay friends with her, both of you go out and find someone else, and stay friends. Having a chick friend can be good. you'd get hugs(and feel teh boobies), when her BF is out with the guys, she can come over and watch a movie.
And if she's still talking to you, she has some interest in being friends, so you find her a man, she'll find you a woman.
Old 04-07-2003, 05:22 PM Lebowski is offline  
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FM 2347
I am offended by the world isajeep.
I think I've been telling myself that I don't like her, but when I see her playing off the feelings becomes much harder. When I first met her I wasn't interested emotionally. As time went on I started having feelings and in order to think straight I keep thinking back to when I didn't have these feelings so I have less of a chance of getting hurt. I'm also the type of person that tries not to take things personally but with her, the rules I use with other girls don't work. I've read the advice from Jynus and I do agree with it. I have to remember to follow that logic more often.
Old 04-07-2003, 07:26 PM FM 2347 is offline  
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