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Meanee
I AM a cell phone
 
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"ethics" question..

Ok, so looks like I have a hot co-worker. We work at different locations tho, so I don't care about "Don't dip your pet in company ink" shit here.

Recently I started to show her attention. Drove her home few times, asked her out to have some coffee, catch a movie and stuff.

But there's a problem. She has a boyfriend. When I started making my moves, she told me that she HAD a boyfriend, they broke up that same day when I drove her home first time. But somehow they got back together.

Now like a normal person, I would back off, and let them live a nice peaceful life. But according to her description, life is not so peaceful. Her boyfriend is an insecure control freak. She gave me her number, but asked to block my caller ID, since her cell phone bill goes to her bf's house and he literally checks every phone call in a call log. She is allowed to have only approved by him people in a phone book, and if someone else calls, he always picks up her phone. At 9pm he calls her home. Checking if she's home or not. If not, she's in a huge trouble. She finishes work at 8, so 1 hour is enough to take a bus home, according to him.

I've invited her to go catch a movie, she said that she could not go to most theaters, since her boyfriend's friends, relatives, are always report to him everything that she does when they see her.

She spoke to him about being so controlling. But he told her that as long as they are together, this will not change.

To make it even more weird, she caught him cheating once, and they still got back together. Pretty much only because she is used to him. This whole relationship turned her into a really insecure person, after she found out a ton of girls that he was with while they were still together.

Now my question... do I move in and try to make her a happy woman, or respect their relationship and stay away...,
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Old 11-27-2004, 09:59 AM Meanee is offline  
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wb3032
 
Why would you want a chick like this who obivously has lots of issues. Plus her boyfriend might kill you and her.
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Old 11-27-2004, 10:03 AM wb3032 is offline  
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Meanee
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wb3032
Why would you want a chick like this who obivously has lots of issues. Plus her boyfriend might kill you and her.

well, her issues are temporary, I guess. And her boyfriend gives her a silent treatment for the things she does "wrong"
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Old 11-27-2004, 10:05 AM Meanee is offline  
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Mega G
 
Sorry to be blunt, but if she'd found you more attractive than him then she'd already broken up with her boyfriend. All that sounds like excuses for not having to date you.
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Old 11-27-2004, 10:23 AM Mega G is offline  
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Meanee
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well, we already went out few times. But she gave me strict instructions on how to call her. Gave me her sister's number and told me to call her sister, at certain times. At other times, I can call her with blocked ID. Told me dates she's not with her boyfriend, when we can go do stuff together.

sigh I am so confused with all this
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Old 11-27-2004, 10:27 AM Meanee is offline  
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WuddaWaste
 
Yeah, dude. You're just getting the runaround. I've seen this happen SO many times. The fact of the matter is that some girls some how sub-consciously NEED to be hurt and mistreated by their controlling boyfriends. It's sick. But it's the way things are. You'll never be anything more than a side-fling to her at best. They always go back. Sorry bro. Walk away from it while you still can.
Old 11-27-2004, 11:01 AM WuddaWaste is offline  
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zro
 
You are an asshole for interfering with their relationship, and expecting sex out of your efforts to break them apart. Yes, it's unethical.
Old 11-27-2004, 04:46 PM zro is offline  
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breatheme
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by zro
You are an asshole for interfering with their relationship, and expecting sex out of your efforts to break them apart. Yes, it's unethical.

.....or, you could read the thread...?
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Old 11-27-2004, 04:55 PM breatheme is offline  
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Dan Soki
 
Respect the relationship and move the fuck on.......

She looks like one of those women who think that her bf will change, but in reality few rarely ever change. She may prefer to live that way.......be controlled.
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Old 11-27-2004, 04:59 PM Dan Soki is offline  
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zro
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by breatheme
.....or, you could read the thread...?
I did read the thread before I posted that, and I still stand by this statement. Is this your strange way of disagreeing with me?
Old 11-27-2004, 05:01 PM zro is offline  
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Meanee
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Where did I say that I want sex out of it? And where did I say that I am interfering? I went out with her few times, no flirting from my side tho, I am still undecided what I should do. Reading comprehension is your friend.

As for Dan Soki's reply... she does not like that, but for some reason she's afraid to be alone. Hell, I made same mistake, I was with my first gf for 6 years because I was very used to her, even that there was no love.
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Old 11-27-2004, 08:00 PM Meanee is offline  
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#11  

rappe
 
Dont supplicate and drive her home.
Personally i'd stay the FUCK AWAY from that chick. Not cause she's hot or cause she has a BF. Because she has a psychocontrolfreak BF. Its only going to cause you more trouble than its worth and i dont care if she's Heidi klum herself, your life aint worth it.
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Old 11-27-2004, 08:15 PM rappe is offline  
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#12  

bradman
 
if he doesn't worry you, move in on it. if you're into her she only has good things coming...as long as she leaves him.
if he does worry you, don't see her anymore.
Old 11-27-2004, 10:25 PM bradman is offline  
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Assassin289
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A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

-- Your the guy that didn't get the job
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Old 11-27-2004, 10:30 PM Assassin289 is offline  
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zro
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meanee
Where did I say that I want sex out of it?
Okay, the first word you used to describe her as was "hot."
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And where did I say that I am interfering? I went out with her few times, no flirting from my side tho, I am still undecided what I should do. Reading comprehension is your friend.
You're interfering by doing things that her boyfriend is supposed to do, like take her out and listen to her relationship problems. This thread has shown that you are privy to some very serious stuff that's not your business. I suggest you stop before you get further entangled in this relationship. Just my opinion.
Old 11-28-2004, 01:24 AM zro is offline  
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