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lucky579
Bed Wetter
 
I need a shrink to talk to, but genmay will have to do.

Things seem as if they have no direction for me at this point in my life. I'm a thrill seeker.

I went to a university for 2 years, had a blast, but wasn't doing well in school, I felt bad my parents paid for my first year and I partied and drank all the time, so I started paying for everything. Decided to go to a community college. At this point I have 63 ge units. I started making money online doing affiliate marketing, made some great money and moved to the beach.

Lived there for a short while, spent more than I made and moved back to my home town where I get introduced to oxycontin. I take an entire year off from school, and basically just work, gym, get high off oxycontin and watch a movie. During these time I'm doing e every 3 weeks, and nearly have an overdose at one point and decide that's the last time I'm going to take it.

I have a very attractive girlfriend at one point during this, she didn't do drugs and she seemed to keep me a little stable, and another girlfriend who reminded me of my mother towards the end of our relationship and she just made me want to do drugs being around her.

So every couple weeks I treat myself to a little oxycontin on the weekends, usually 2-3 80mgs. A little expensive $120 for 3. I some how justify it in my head that it isn't as bad as drinking, and I worker harder and work goes by much faster and easier and I'm able to relate with my co-workers.

I used to go back to my routine after a weekend of binge use, but this past month it's been almost everyday I've been using.

And my latest fascination is to get super high off oxycontin, go to a massage therapist that advertises for happy ending, and let her try and get me off. It's nearly impossible to jizz while high on oxy. And this has been a spur the moment type thing, if I'm just bored at home.

This month alone I made $4800,
2300 of which went to car repair/modification
800 to oxycontin
40 to alcohol
700 to rub and tug redbook massage
500 to rent
200 to credit card bill (cancelled card, just paying it off)
80 to utility
200 day trip vacation

So I binged this past weekend into monday, I'm feeling fine today, no extreme withdrawls yet, usually comes 2 days after using, but I'm headed to the gym now and eating healthy again I just don't know how to stay on the right track. I can do it for 3 weeks and then I get bored with life and oxy provides me with that excitement.

Ideas on how to stay sober and have fun?

Hobbies maybe, I need ideas here...

I work 6 days a week, around 42 hours, school 4 days a week, 9.5 units, gym 4 days a week 1 hour workouts.

Cooking is a chore for me, never really enjoyed it, it's been raining so I can't ride my bike, I work 4-11 on my day off I like to go to local theater shows or comedy clubs, sometimes bowling.
Old 02-04-2010, 02:48 AM lucky579 is offline  
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chuckybob
Mario raped Peach in her fuzzy spot while twisting and twirling his mustache sexylike
 
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STOP
DOING
OXYCONTIN

if theres ANYTHING you will ever hear from OC addicts its that its hell to get off of.

this is going to sound awful for the BC, but [m]ain will swear to you that salvia will help with the withdrawls. you dont want to be trading one addiction for another, but salvia MAY help during the first week. after that, you need to cut them both. 800/mo on ANY drug is far too much.

if youre working 6 days a week, the rest should be easy to fill. browse genmay, watch TV, take up a creative hobby. if youve ever wanted to learn an instrument or how to paint or how to write, now is the time. if not, maybe try an MMO

dont go out except the one day youre not working. if you have friends who you met through oxy, you need to cut them coldly. they will draw you back in. misery loves company.



sorry for the tl;dr.
Old 02-04-2010, 02:54 AM chuckybob is offline  
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lucky579
Bed Wetter
 
I can get through the withdrawls

Backpains peak around 3 days then taper down

Social anxiety goes away after 3

And I feel completely normal after 3 weeks. A lot of people I work with like to go out after work, stay up way too late and sleep til 3 the next day and go to work.

I don't even smoke weed, so no other drugs are in my system. I'm a health freak 99.9% of the time.
Old 02-04-2010, 03:01 AM lucky579 is offline  
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chuckybob
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so it sounds like youre prepared for whats ahead, and youve been through it before?
Old 02-04-2010, 03:09 AM chuckybob is offline  
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studioeschaton
 
If push comes to shove, you can go to an ibogaine clinic. Ibogaine resets all the receptors in your body so you don't experience any withdrawal symptoms when detoxing from a substance. The research coming out on the treatment is pretty amazing. Guys with like 3 year methadone addictions go in and after a couple sessions, and after about 48 hours, there completely free of the addiction and experience no withdrawal symptoms. And the relapse rate is radically lower than other treatments. There are alot of first hand testimonies on youtube you can watch.

It can be an expensive treatment, but it'd be a pretty incredible and potentially life changing experience in and of itself.

Other than that. Just force yourself. I had to quit caffeine about a year ago from being a 3 strong cups of yerba mate a day user, maybe 200-300 mg a day. Which you might think, eh thats just caffeine, but daily usage at those levels results in some serious withdrawal. It was very bad headaches, tension, aches, agitation, dizziness, irritation, being extremely pissed off and uncontent with everything for like 2 weeks. Then a rather severe depression for well over a month, that just left me laying on the floor not wanting to move or live. I didn't feel like my brain really attained full speed and cognitive ability again for like 6 months. The whole time you think, wouldn't it just be easier to drink the caffeine? What am I doing this for? But you know, just decide to do it and stick with it. Just like sit and focus, meditate essentially, and just envision yourself never consuming that substance again, just see yourself going through your daily routine from this point forward and for the next 60 years, everyday until you die, just never putting that in your mouth again. Remove it from your ego, remove it from your identity, remove it from your memory. Theres some more things I could tell you about meditating to change thought patterns if your interested.


Quote:
this is going to sound awful for the BC, but [m]ain will swear to you that salvia will help with the withdrawls. you dont want to be trading one addiction for another, but salvia MAY help during the first week. after that, you need to cut them both. 800/mo on ANY drug is far too much.
Thats really interesting, I never heard about that, do you have any links to research? I do know salvia acts on opioid receptors so it would make sense.
And it would be really really hard to become addicted to salvia. Salvia is the most radically unaddicting plant I've ever come across, I think most people give away their supply after trying it rather than keep it.

Last edited by studioeschaton; 02-04-2010 at 03:51 AM..
Old 02-04-2010, 03:34 AM studioeschaton is offline  
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chuckybob
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Quote:
Originally Posted by studioeschaton View Post
If push comes to shove, you can go to an ibogaine clinic. Ibogaine resets all the receptors in your body so you don't experience any withdrawal symptoms when detoxing from a substance. The research coming out on the treatment is pretty amazing. Guys with like 3 year methadone addictions go in and after a couple sessions, and after about 48 hours, there completely free of the addiction and experience no withdrawal symptoms. And the relapse rate is radically lower than other treatments. There are alot of first hand testimonies on youtube you can watch.

It can be an expensive treatment, but it'd be a pretty incredible and potentially life changing experience in and of itself.

i was curious so i checked out the youtubes you mentioned.

+ YouTube Video
ERROR: If you can see this, then YouTube is down or you don't have Flash installed.
Old 02-04-2010, 03:38 AM chuckybob is offline  
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lucky579
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lol @ ibogaine. I'm pretty sure that isn't legal.

I've been using oxycontin for about a year, I'll do it for 3 weeks, and think, this is stupid I need to stop squandering my money on this, so I quit cold turkey.

First day of withdrawls: slightly runny nose, eyes watery, sensitive to light
Second day: Extreme lower back pain, fatigue, runny nose, watery eyes, sore throat, can't talk without voice cracking
Third day: Peak of lower back pain, a little more engery, eyes drying up, chapped lips.

day 4-21 finding out who I am, and what I believe in, day 21 I'm "normal" again and realize how bored I am with life and the cycle continues. So withdrawl is the small picture, I need to fix the big picture.
Old 02-04-2010, 04:54 AM lucky579 is offline  
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chuckybob
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what do you mean youre bored with who you are?
Old 02-04-2010, 05:00 AM chuckybob is offline  
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lucky579
Bed Wetter
 
like nothing seems to excite me anymore, I'm just bored. I keep trying to move up at work to a managerial position, and I'm more than qualified, and the general manager offered me a job.

Another manager made up an elaborate story how I disrespected him, and had malicious intentions for the company. I tried to fight it, but the more I tried to fight and stick up the further his lies continued.

I make it a point the first day of class to make friends with 2 or 3 social groups in the class, unlike a university, community college people just go to transfer to another school.

Going out with girls used to excite me, and meeting new ones, but I have yet to find one as impressive as my ex-gf 3 years ago, sure you can sleep with countless girls but finding a solid connection is more important to me at this point than just getting laid.

I still like the feeling I get when I finished a work out, but as an ectomorph it's extremely hard for me to keep on weight and is some what discouraging when I don't see results.

Maybe I just need to be around more mature people, I've been supporting myself since I was 19, now 22, but most of my friends either still live at home, or their parents pay for most everything and still take care of them.

I've been talking to this 24 year old girl that's gorgeous and seems to have a good head on her shoulders, I'd like to pursue a relationship with her possibly, but I've been hurt before and maybe I'm afraid to open up again.

As for hobbies I used to race remote control cars that was always funny but expensive I was 12 at the time, so I have no idea if I'd still enjoy it
Old 02-04-2010, 05:23 AM lucky579 is offline  
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chuckybob
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it sounds like youre depressed. your post indicates that theres a lot going on here besides just OC addiction. have you considered/investigated an actual shrink? i know theres a negative stigma associated with it, but honestly, everyone needs one sometime, and ive rarely met a person who hasnt seen a shrink at one time or another.

ignore the girl for now, it seems like youre still coming to terms with yourself. theres no reason to bring another person into the picture just yet (for the purposes of the BC).
Old 02-04-2010, 05:32 AM chuckybob is offline  
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Gibonius
 
The opiates might be part of the reason you feel bored and unfulfilled all the time. The happiness setpoint in your brain gets fucked up when you use them too long, and experiences that used to feel good are mundane now. I'd certainly talk to a doctor or psychologist about your problems, you may really need some medication to correct the brain chemistry problems the drug abuse has caused.
Old 02-04-2010, 07:42 AM Gibonius is offline  
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fat asian chick
 
stop doing oxycontin. you don't sound like you have too bad of an addiction yet, but it will get that way if you let it. two of my friends from high school got involved with OC really badly, except they were doing it every day and spending about $100-200 a day on it. The one friend that I wasn't really close to lost all of his friends and eventually moved away to a different city to try to get away from it (this happened after like 4 or 5 years of being on it all the time and going to rehab a few times).

My friend that I was close to went to the military for two years after high school and then became my roommate where I was going to a big university. I knew he liked to pills and shit occasionally at that point (me and him used to blow coke and sometimes OC in high school, but never anything that I thought was excessive), but when he moved in with me the it was unbelievable. Basically, he would wake up in the morning blow some OC and just continue to do it all day. He sucked to talk to because he talked all slow and a lot of the times wouldn't really make sense, sucked to be around because he was always doing annoying shit, and became a shitty person in general. He stole shit from me to pay for his pills (at least a few hundred dollars a day at this point) and in the process lost of all of his friends. The only people that he hung out with were other pill heads with no redeeming qualities. I once saw him blow 160 mg at once.. that amount would either kill me or make me insanely uncomfortable. All his friends, including myself, told him he needed to stop and he always sore he was clean, even when it was painfully obvious he wasn't. He always asked me why I didn't hang out with him anymore and I told him truthfully it was because he was always fucked up on pills and I didn't want to be around him. He actually ended up getting kicked out of school for plagiarism, moved back home, and I didn't talk to him for a while. This past Christmas break he called me to see if I wanted to chill and told me how he was all off pills and shit which I told him was good and I was happy for him, etc (He really wasn't pilled out when I talked to him over the phone), and to call me in a few days because I wasn't back in our hometown yet. Next time he called me I could tell he was fucked up on pills and I told him to get his life together. Haven't heard from him since

I also had two friends die as a direct result of taking too many pills and other shit. Moral of the story is.. don't get addicted to pills. They will fuck you up and degrade your quality of life and those around you. They will also fuck up your liver.

e:
Quote:
The opiates might be part of the reason you feel bored and unfulfilled all the time. The happiness setpoint in your brain gets fucked up when you use them too long, and experiences that used to feel good are mundane now. I'd certainly talk to a doctor or psychologist about your problems, you may really need some medication to correct the brain chemistry problems the drug abuse has caused.
Yeah, I would say a big reason you are bored is because of this. But don't go back to pills. They will ruin your life if you let them

Last edited by fat asian chick; 02-04-2010 at 09:49 AM..
Old 02-04-2010, 09:40 AM fat asian chick is offline  
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studioeschaton
 
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Originally Posted by lucky579 View Post
lol @ ibogaine. I'm pretty sure that isn't legal.

you cant just purchase ibogaine off the web
but going to an ibogaine clinic is completely legal
Old 02-05-2010, 09:57 PM studioeschaton is offline  
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