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K0ll
<font size=+2 color=pink><b>ALL HAIL<br>VAGINA DAY</b></font>
 
Getting "engaged" without getting engaged?

Quick question. Been going out with this girl for some time now. I want to take it to the next level, but really there is no level between going out and engaged. Is there anyway or anything to get to show her that yes I would like to be with her the rest of my life without the big engagement part? We are both still in school for the next year or so.
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Old 02-21-2010, 08:19 PM K0ll is offline  
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Electrikfuzz050
 
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I would say moving in together but I don't really know your situation.

Why are you feeling the pressure to do this in the first place?
Old 02-21-2010, 08:21 PM Electrikfuzz050 is offline  
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Ares
 
Normally the next level is telling her you love her or are in love with her...But I assume youve already done that.
I dont know...maybe tell her you see yourself marrying her once the timing is right.
Move in together may be the next step if you dont already live together.
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Old 02-21-2010, 08:22 PM Ares is offline  
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_mike_
 
serious answer: tell her what you told us.

seinfeld answer: start driving her to the airport.
Old 02-21-2010, 08:25 PM _mike_ is offline  
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#4  

Gibonius
 
Just talk to her and establish the fact that you have a serious relationship and you want to have a future with her. You don't (necessarily) need to bring up marriage, but let her know that you're not afraid of long term commitment.

I don't buy into the "promise ring" , or being "engaged to be engaged." Either you're ready to get married, or you're not and you're still dating. There doesn't need to be an in-between step, and people who think there should be have an immature view of marriage. Establishing what both of you think about the relationship is one thing, but please don't feel like you need to put some stupid title on it.
Old 02-21-2010, 09:38 PM Gibonius is offline  
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RiderOnTheStorm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gibonius View Post
Just talk to her and establish the fact that you have a serious relationship and you want to have a future with her. You don't (necessarily) need to bring up marriage, but let her know that you're not afraid of long term commitment.

I don't buy into the "promise ring" , or being "engaged to be engaged." Either you're ready to get married, or you're not and you're still dating. There doesn't need to be an in-between step, and people who think there should be have an immature view of marriage. Establishing what both of you think about the relationship is one thing, but please don't feel like you need to put some stupid title on it.

Gonna be hard for anyone to say it better than this.
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Old 02-21-2010, 09:46 PM RiderOnTheStorm is offline  
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#6  

tmoney1876
 
There's no level between committed to a long term relation ship and being married, because there isn't a level between the two.

If you aren't married, then there is an asterisk after "I love you*" and it means "*for the foreseeable future". Just be happy where you are until you are ready to take it to the next level.
Old 02-21-2010, 11:50 PM tmoney1876 is offline  
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theNoid
 
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You simply talk to her and tell her how you feel. I'm married, and the relationship really is the same as it was when engaged or just dating seriously. The only way to further solidify your relationship is through communication.
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Old 02-22-2010, 10:25 AM theNoid is offline  
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chuckybob
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has anyone said "dont move in together" yet?

dont move in together.
Old 02-22-2010, 05:42 PM chuckybob is offline  
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SmashingPumpkins
 
promise ring. grab a couple hundred dollar ring for her and do eet

I loved it because I got to show off my girl and it's a "MINE" thing

she loved it because she could show off a ring to her friends.
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Old 02-23-2010, 10:12 AM SmashingPumpkins is offline  
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De7|ro|i7
 
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has anyone said "dont move in together" yet?

dont move in together.

dont sleep with her either until you are married.

dont see her in her wedding dress.
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Old 02-23-2010, 11:22 AM De7|ro|i7 is offline  
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wilse
 
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promise ring. grab a couple hundred dollar ring for her and do eet

I loved it because I got to show off my girl and it's a "MINE" thing

she loved it because she could show off a ring to her friends.

i recommend against this advice because i have reason to believe the OP is not in 8th grade
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Old 02-23-2010, 11:55 AM wilse is offline  
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SmashingPumpkins
 
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i recommend against this advice because i have reason to believe the OP is not in 8th grade

when you've been going out for like 4-5 years and you're not ready to get married, you gotta do something, but to each their own

edit: worked out well when she dumped me after about 6 years, as I hadn't spent the money on a engagement ring but I was about to.
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Old 02-23-2010, 11:59 AM SmashingPumpkins is offline  
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theNoid
 
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Quote:
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dont sleep with her either until you are married.

dont see her in her wedding dress.

Apples to Oranges

Most every couple I know who moved in together, broke up. Living together presents quirks and hardships to a relationship, forcing that relationship to grow up real fast. If either couple isnt committed for the very long term it will nearly always become the beginning of the end.

I have yet to be proven wrong, at least in my experiences.
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Old 02-23-2010, 12:42 PM theNoid is offline  
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wilse
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SmashingPumpkins View Post
when you've been going out for like 4-5 years and you're not ready to get married, you gotta do something

why? please explain
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Old 02-23-2010, 01:57 PM wilse is offline  
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