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Goddess
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Need tips on how to handle this situation with my ex..

My ex(who is a great friend to me, and me to him, we ended our thing mutually etc etc, we're close with each other) got his booty call preggers in December and just told me a few weeks ago, they are going to keep it, and he is going to move in with her. She has a kid who is 7 from a previous relationship, who is autistic and in my opinion treats him like a burden and it really pisses me off.

Basically from day one (a year ago) I haven't liked this girl even when they were just friends who worked together, she treats everyone around her like shes better than them etc. Just a shitty attitude in general, and always rubbed me the wrong way and I have avoided social gatherings with her there just cause I find it hard to have a conversation without being irritated.

Now to the point, I was invited to dinner with them last week and the whole time I felt awkward and annoyed by her the whole time. I can give specific examples if needed, but I just need tips on how to put my thought process in a more positive direction with this chick. I am civil to her and it's not that I hate her or am jealous of her and my ex, but I am more fearful for they're kid and the kid that is already in the picture and now my ex is stuck with this chick so I have a hard time finding something positive to say.

I just struggle with subjects to talk to her about that I can keep my cool with and he wants me to be around his kid and be around for baby showers and all that gay shit so...any suggestions on neutral subjects that I can at least pass off as being interested but wont indulge her snotty-ness?
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Old 02-25-2010, 11:35 PM Goddess is offline  
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theNoid
 
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Honestly, in a few years you will not be friends and you will not matter much in his life (and vise versa). You are both walking ghosts in a sense because once his child is born he's going to be off the radar for quite some time. You'll be lucky to get phone calls once a month he'll be so busy/tired/starved for alone time.

The fact that you are his past means that eventually he will willingly distance himself from you as he starts a family and strives to become a better father and role model. That doesn't mean anything against you, its just you're his past regardless if you think its different.

Regarding his gf? Its none of you business how she treats her kid honestly, if you head down that path you're in for a world of baby mama drama and thats something you dont want to get caught up in. Being that you are his past, its would come off as super jealous, no matter how you go about it.

My advice is to continue being his friend, go to the showers, bite your tongue and be happy for him if he is happy. Don't be shocked when the text messages, facebook messages and phone calls start to disappear. Its only a few weeks now before his entire world is turned upside (in a good way) and he will change the way he thinks and acts on a daily basis. His priorities will not be keeping in touch with friends.

Ultimately when you're 50 and he's 50, you most likely won't know each other. You're both growing older now and this is how it starts. Dont waste time worrying about his gf, her children. Save that energy for better things in life... better things for you. Be happy, let him be happy and let life take its course. I would just funnel your conversation through your friend, dont pull yourself out of the comfort zone to appease someone you don't really care for.
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Old 02-26-2010, 12:46 AM theNoid is offline  
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^^ well, that's about what I would have written.
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Old 02-26-2010, 09:41 AM DigitalMocking is offline  
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