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2[H]4U
 
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34, nothing but anxiety and depression

I'm 34 and I'm literally nothing but depressed and full of anxiety all day. Life really didn't fold out the way I had planned. I'm lazy to do anything but I'm lazy because I'm not anxious to do anything. I really don't know what to do, I feel like I'm gonna kill myself one day.
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Old 10-23-2018, 12:43 AM 2[H]4U is offline  
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BlisterDick
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welcome to the party
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Old 10-23-2018, 06:44 AM BlisterDick is offline  
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Typhoon43
 
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You have any hobbies? There has to be SOMETHING that makes you smile man. Life is always worth living.
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Old 10-23-2018, 08:28 AM Typhoon43 is offline  
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I didn't plan on how my life was going to turn out but it turned out alright I guess

then again if I lost my job which is a pretty good job I might get a shittier job that made me really unhappy.
Old 10-24-2018, 06:36 PM lol is offline  
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I mean life is pretty boring mostly just work and daily life stuff I don't have a wife/gf or close friends outside work just neighbors/community people and my cat.

I bought a house so that gave me a lot of little projects to do which are fulfilling in and of themselves, even though I kind of miss the easy living of an apartment.

Personally I have been on a rather uncommon MAOI antidepressant for 11 years now, I weaned off once at my doctors urging and got pretty messed up emotionally for several months, and went back on... and got better again, pretty much confirming that is working for me. I have blunted emotions now, I don't feel many strong emotions either good or bad, but its worth the tradeoff vs constantly feeling bad all the time. I have very little stress/anxiety. Well, a normal amount I guess, but I cope much better and manage very well and am never overwhelmed. I am actually even too laid back, i.e. I rarely show a sense of urgency, just because I don't have a strong stress response.

Well, it may not be the solution for you but it really works well for me. I don't think I'd have a stable career or be able to attain the quality of life that I have without this treatment.
Old 10-24-2018, 06:52 PM lol is offline  
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haha owned
Old 10-24-2018, 07:58 PM aoeoae is offline  
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BlisterDick
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oh shit
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Old 10-24-2018, 09:14 PM BlisterDick is offline  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aoeoae View Post
haha owned

No idea but I laughed hard at this

It's still not funny though... I think...
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Old 10-25-2018, 11:38 AM Typhoon43 is offline  
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No idea but I laughed hard at this

It's still not funny though... I think...

same category as

"my grandpa died"

"did he drop any good loot"
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Old 10-25-2018, 12:22 PM GhEttOrAiD is offline  
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*nods head*
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Old 10-25-2018, 07:32 PM BlisterDick is offline  
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2[H]4U
 
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Originally Posted by Typhoon43 View Post
You have any hobbies? There has to be SOMETHING that makes you smile man. Life is always worth living.

I do have hobbies but it honestly makes me feel guilty to do them since I don't have a job and live off a credit card basically. I have not been able to find a stable career. I hate being an employee, I want to own my own business but I have no idea how to go about that. I feel like I would fail at owning a business (whatever it might be) and I would lose all my money which would make me even more depressed.

My wife and I fight every single day too and our relationship sucks.
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Old 10-25-2018, 10:48 PM 2[H]4U is offline  
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I mean life is pretty boring mostly just work and daily life stuff I don't have a wife/gf or close friends outside work just neighbors/community people and my cat.

I bought a house so that gave me a lot of little projects to do which are fulfilling in and of themselves, even though I kind of miss the easy living of an apartment.

Personally I have been on a rather uncommon MAOI antidepressant for 11 years now, I weaned off once at my doctors urging and got pretty messed up emotionally for several months, and went back on... and got better again, pretty much confirming that is working for me. I have blunted emotions now, I don't feel many strong emotions either good or bad, but its worth the tradeoff vs constantly feeling bad all the time. I have very little stress/anxiety. Well, a normal amount I guess, but I cope much better and manage very well and am never overwhelmed. I am actually even too laid back, i.e. I rarely show a sense of urgency, just because I don't have a strong stress response.

Well, it may not be the solution for you but it really works well for me. I don't think I'd have a stable career or be able to attain the quality of life that I have without this treatment.

Which MAOI have you been taking? I've been taking Ambien for a few years and I feel like it's fucked me up mentally as a person. I now have horrible memory. You're saying that you don't have any feelings anymore? I've heard this before with anti-depressants and I'm worried it will change me as a person. I wouldn't want to me someone that has no emotions. On the other hand, it seems like it could be a lifesaver... something I might need to actually save myself.
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Old 10-25-2018, 10:52 PM 2[H]4U is offline  
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2[H]4U
 
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haha owned

Thanks for kicking me while I'm down.
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Old 10-25-2018, 10:53 PM 2[H]4U is offline  
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Typhoon43
 
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I have not been able to find a stable career. I hate being an employee, I want to own my own business but I have no idea how to go about that. I feel like I would fail at owning a business (whatever it might be) and I would lose all my money which would make me even more depressed.


Let's start with this. You say you WANT to own your own business. Doing what? If you have an actual idea of what you want to do, then being scared to take the chance just means you don't want it enough. If you have no idea what kind of business you want to own, I'd say you're just like 99% of the other people out there working jobs that don't satisfy them emotionally and think they'd be so much happier if they ran their own show. I'd advise you to realize that what you do for a living doesn't have to make you happy. You grind those 8 hours a day to get money, which in turn allows you to enjoy the hobbies that do bring fulfillment to your life, and I can guarantee money coming in will drastically cut the tension down with your wife. Financial issues are up near the top of why most people divorce. So again, unless you have a business plan of something you want to "own", I'd really recommend joining the rest of us worker bees, get that paycheck, and make your own version of happiness outside the job.

Just my .02 cents. I hope you figure it out mang
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Old 10-26-2018, 12:39 PM Typhoon43 is offline  
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Which MAOI have you been taking? I've been taking Ambien for a few years and I feel like it's fucked me up mentally as a person. I now have horrible memory. You're saying that you don't have any feelings anymore? I've heard this before with anti-depressants and I'm worried it will change me as a person. I wouldn't want to me someone that has no emotions. On the other hand, it seems like it could be a lifesaver... something I might need to actually save myself.

nardil (phenelzine), 90mg a day since 2008.

I don't really not have feelings, I just don't have *strong* feelings most of the time. Emotions are blunted, but not absent. Considering most of my feelings before were strongly negative, it's good.

Random example, I spilled a full cup of coffee all over the desk the other day at work, soaked my coworkers papers (he wasn't there at the time). I went and got paper towels and windex, told my manager what happened, since she was in the kitchen when I got them, cleaned it up and apologized to my coworker when he got in, all without feeling any significant anxiety or dread. I didn't lose my cool just because of a little spill. I didn't dwell on it all day. I expected my coworker would say "oh yeah, it happens, no problem" and he did, instead of imagining all the ways he could have been angry with me. And I noticed that I was handling it quite well as opposed to other times when this would have totally ruined my day and set me on a path of negative thinking. I noticed it because I was starting to have those thoughts but I was able to suppress them and think rationally about them instead of being overwhelmed.

I guess that's the way it's supposed to work. The pills reduce my capacity to be overwhelmed by either positive or negative emotions, and through practice I can better control myself. Therapy would probably have helped but I never found a therapist I liked and stopped looking a long time ago.

So... when good stuff happens, I don't feel nothing at all, I am just content/satisfied instead of feeling really happy. I can't say that I ever experience "joy" but I am happy about some things. For me happiness is usually just being satisfied.
Old 10-26-2018, 01:34 PM lol is offline  
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