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Milwaukee Hardcore
 
i haven't lauged at a thread this hard in a long time
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Old 03-15-2005, 12:39 AM Milwaukee Hardcore is offline  
#241  

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Gabbo
 
Okay well I thought I'd add my own little story to this joyous poo parade. It's not exactly disasterous in terms of what happened to the room, but it was pretty bad at the time.

Okay, so kram2920 and I are at a lan party, The Week Long Lan, to start off the summer of graduation. It's a friends place, he lived about 5 minutes from our high school so it made it easy to trek over between exams and such.

You see, lan culture isn't known for it's healthy choices in food. Throughout this week we made trips to Beckers and local pizza places, usually for lunch and supper. Breakfast was usually made by his mom, and consisted of like eggs and bacon or toast. Not bad, since we were killing their dsl line like it was going out of style.

Well throughout this week I don't know how often the facilities were used by the 6 of us (though I'm sure our friend had kept up with regular hygiene since we were in his house).

The lan started on a friday. If i remember correctly, Wednesday rolls around. It's been a good lan thus far, and tomorrow was death metal show. Much gaming and mexico visits have occurred at this point. We had done our 'Beckers Run' for supper. I bought a package of cheese burgers, i do believe kram had pizza, but im not sure.

All day my stomach had been telling me today was exit day or I was gonna explode.
So i'm sitting at my pc, in between a round of quake3 i think, and my stomach rumbles. And suddenly it feels like someone has just dropped a brick into my colon. The pressure built up made me feel like my stomach was going to rip open and unending shit would fly out like a clown car of crap. Anyways, I'm eyeing everyone else, clenching my ass as best i could given the pain I'm currently in. The sweat was pouring off my brow at this point. I HAD to disgourge my bowels, NOW. I eye the door, when Kram gets up and heads to the bathroom. Richie, the host goes up to talk to his father.

We all hear the toilet flush a few times. And then richie yelling about a stench and then he and kram come back downstairs laughing. Kram is grinning like a retard with a goldstar. We soon learn of the stench Kram had unleashed on this small (closet sized) bathroom. So i bravely made my way up to it, with Kram wishing me luck as did many others. When kram leaves a stink, they linger. And this one was up there. I don't know how richies parents didnt smell it. the bathroom was right next to their door-ajar office. I open the door and get hit with a smell I can't describe, but i walked right back down stairs and yelled at kram. I walked back up, and thought 'I should open the window, since kram didnt. That bastard'. After two failed objects, a Coke can makes hte smell go away. while i'm waiting for it to vacate the bathroom I'm feeling the pain, sweating and trying not to explode.

5 minutes pass and I can't take it anymore, so i brave the remaining stench and drop the drawers. Well I must say I thought i tore something getting that sucker out. It must have taken a good 5 minutes just getting it out of me. At about hte half-way point, richies sister knocks on the door with the usual 'hurry i have to go' line. That didn't help my plight any. The energy it took to release that thing coupled with the smell made me extremely light headed. luckily that coke can held through.

Now the embarrassment. I had to flush this monster down, and kram had already given this poor toilet what for, not 20 minutes earlier. I KNEW it was bad ahead. But i flushed.... and flushed... and flushed.... at around flush 3 i looked for a plunger. None. Around flush 8 i was nearly choking from the sight/smell i had created. 6 flushes later I was feeling MUCH better as i walked down stairs and rejoined the lan.

Not only had Kram and I shown that toilet the apocalypse, but i returned to 'We thought you died or something man.'. I had been gone for half an hour.
Old 03-15-2005, 12:45 AM Gabbo is offline  
#242  

Bunchies
 
Well, when I was in preschool, we always had naptime. One day was different. I really had to take a shit, and i was wearing rocket ship tightie whities and red shorts. I proceeded to let out a huge, ripping fart and felt something warm in my pants. I knew that i had shat my pants. Unfortunately, on my way to the bathroom, the teacher kept me from going because it was "naptime". So she carried me away and laid me down on the cot, despite my cries of displeasure. As soon as she layed me down, i got back up and ran towards the bathroom. She ran after me and grabbed my wrist "Winston, you have to go to bed!"
"But i have to go to the bathroom!"
"Winston, naptime is important!"
"BUT LOOK!"
At this point, i stretched out the waistband of my shorts to show what treasures they contained. Inside was a huge mess of poop. Not hard logs, but soft casserole like brown shit, smeared all over the inside of my shorts and weighing down my underwear. She took one look, her eyes opened wide, and said "Oh my god..." She let me go to the bathroom after that.
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Now if Ikea made the Jerker in a solid-wood version, i want one.

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Old 03-15-2005, 01:14 AM Bunchies is offline  
#243  

Chavez
I miss the old [M]! It's just a bunch of tards and spam now! (and señor Chavez is to a large
 
1) Cousin and I go hunting
2) He passed out in tree stand
3) A hunter earlier that day had shit in said tree stand
4) Cousin's blaze orange vest wasn't blaze orange anymore
5) ...
6) No Profit for anyone
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Old 03-15-2005, 07:14 AM Chavez is offline  
#244  

evildre
 
moar poop disasters, this thread is still 5 pages @50ppp
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Old 03-15-2005, 07:27 AM evildre is offline  
#245  

UnholyKnight
.com
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by evildre
moar poop disasters, this thread is still 5 pages @50ppp

pooping is serios business
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Old 03-15-2005, 07:34 AM UnholyKnight is offline  
#246  

khai.tk
 
1.) Taking a big shit in the elementry school bathroom
2.) Locks don't work and some kid keeps opening it starring at me take a shit
3.) After the 3rd time I get pissed
4.) Stand up and push him tell him to fuck off
5.) While standing up, muscles relax, shit all over myself
6.) School had no guy pants wore girl pants rest of the day
Old 03-15-2005, 07:40 AM khai.tk is offline  
#247  

zitboy
MachTy
IDLE #MIDWEST.DLL ON GAMESURGE
 
zitboy's Avatar
 
1.) Swallowed a penny
2.) Mom makes me eat bread for some reason
3.) I have to shit in a bag for a month
4.) ... and manually sift through it in search of the penny
5.) Never found the penny

also

1.) Give up using toilet paper at age 5
2.) Grab the rest of it with my fingers
3.) Wipe it on the side of the sink counter
4.) Goes on for a few months
5.) Mom finds poo
6.) I am forced to clean my shit under a haze of teary frustration
7.) Man my mom is a fucking bitch

Last edited by zitboy; 03-15-2005 at 08:52 AM..
Old 03-15-2005, 08:50 AM zitboy is offline  
#248  

Chavez
I miss the old [M]! It's just a bunch of tards and spam now! (and señor Chavez is to a large
 
at sierra flight suit
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Old 03-15-2005, 09:31 AM Chavez is offline  
#249  

contrad1ktion
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bunchies
Well, when I was in preschool, we always had naptime. One day was different. I really had to take a shit, and i was wearing rocket ship tightie whities and red shorts. I proceeded to let out a huge, ripping fart and felt something warm in my pants. I knew that i had shat my pants. Unfortunately, on my way to the bathroom, the teacher kept me from going because it was "naptime". So she carried me away and laid me down on the cot, despite my cries of displeasure. As soon as she layed me down, i got back up and ran towards the bathroom. She ran after me and grabbed my wrist "Winston, you have to go to bed!"
"But i have to go to the bathroom!"
"Winston, naptime is important!"
"BUT LOOK!"
At this point, i stretched out the waistband of my shorts to show what treasures they contained. Inside was a huge mess of poop. Not hard logs, but soft casserole like brown shit, smeared all over the inside of my shorts and weighing down my underwear. She took one look, her eyes opened wide, and said "Oh my god..." She let me go to the bathroom after that.



holy fucking shit that's funny...hahahahahhaa fuck yeah...you broke the system as a kindergartener...she carried you...and couldnt smell the shit!?
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Old 03-15-2005, 10:08 AM contrad1ktion is offline  
#250  

Chavez
I miss the old [M]! It's just a bunch of tards and spam now! (and se&ntilde;or Chavez is to a large
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by contrad1ktion
holy fucking shit that's funny...hahahahahhaa fuck yeah...you broke the system as a kindergartener...she carried you...and couldnt smell the shit!?

Teacher got crapowned!
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Old 03-15-2005, 10:10 AM Chavez is offline  
#251  

LeomanXVII
 
VALUT THIS MOFO VALUT THIS MOFO VALUT THIS MOFO VALUT THIS MOFO VALUT THIS MOFO VALUT THIS MOFO VALUT THIS MOFO VALUT THIS MOFO VALUT THIS MOFO VALUT THIS MOFO
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Old 03-15-2005, 11:32 AM LeomanXVII is offline  
#252  

Gabbo
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeomanXVII
VALUT THIS MOFO VALUT THIS MOFO VALUT THIS MOFO VALUT THIS MOFO VALUT THIS MOFO VALUT THIS MOFO VALUT THIS MOFO VALUT THIS MOFO VALUT THIS MOFO VALUT THIS MOFO
Good god not yet. give it a few more hours, or at least until next nite krew
Old 03-15-2005, 11:57 AM Gabbo is offline  
#253  

Baloneyflaps.
Baloneyflaps
My dick: more mass than the earth
 
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shit stories own.






...I'd jack off now, except I'm not horny.
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Old 03-15-2005, 12:09 PM Baloneyflaps. is offline  
#254  

Threnx
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabbo
Good god not yet. give it a few more hours, or at least until next nite krew

nite krew turns threads into chat rooms, it sucks.
Old 03-15-2005, 12:19 PM Threnx is offline  
#255  

 


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