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Max Power
ender58074
 
I've revealed this little gem in a previous thread some months ago, but now seems an opportune time for a retelling.

A guy who was previously my supervisor (we'll call him Dan) has 3 brothers, and at one point they all lived next door to each other, 2 brothers per apartment. One night, Dan comes home after work at midnight, plops down on the couch, and begins to watch TV. After about an hour, his brother comes in, drunk off his gourd, with an equally inebriated female. Apparently they were both bartenders, got smashed after work, and came home to fuck.

So, the brother and this girl go into his bedroom while Dan continues to watch TV. After about a half hour, Dan sees his brother rush out of the bedroom, naked except for the sheets wrapped around his body. The brother runs to the laundry room, dumps the sheets in, and runs for the bathroom. After a few minutes, the brother plops down on the couch by Dan, still wet from the shower.

Dan asks, "What happened, man? Why the big rush?" To which his brother replies, "So, that girl I brought home, I was just fucking her from behind, and I feel something kind of warm and squishy on my dick. I look down and see this huge turd has snaked out of her asshole, then look up and realize she's passed out."

So, the sheets were a mess, shit all over, and this girl is passed out drunk. The brother makes Dan swear that he won't say anything to anybody about it.

The next morning, Dan is sitting at the breakfast table with the other two brothers from next door, when the shit-on brother comes in and sit down. Everyone is silent for a moment, until one of the brothers pipes up and says, "So, bro, I hear you fucked the shit out of some girl last night."

I've gotten so many great shit stories from this guy. Too bad this is the only one I can really remember well enough to tell.
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Old 03-15-2005, 06:14 PM Max Power is offline  
#286  

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xDagger
 
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So I come home from work at 230am one night. Long day, very tired, been holding a giant poo since about 7pm. Decided it could wait till I get home. Well I made it home alright, proceded to take a near perfect poop. Came out easy, wasnt painfully big, no mess, one wipe clean up. a real charm.

So I go to flush my little poo gem down the toilet... and all that happens, is the toilet filling up with water, and my poo going nowhere. Water procedes to flow over the brim of the toilet, and flood the floor. So there I am standing in the bathtub cursing at Vigilante to wake up and help me clean up the mess that was very likely his fault. Man did I call that one. Turns out he had choked the toilet early that day and failed to properly plunge. Needless to say, he didnt wake up so I mopped up the mess with the bathroom rug, and promptly went to bed.
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Old 03-15-2005, 06:17 PM xDagger is offline  
#287  

5urg30n
1st_2_di3
 
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Not really that bad, but this happend about a month ago...

1)got really sick, not pukey or shitty, but weak and achey
2)got better
3)got sick again, pukey and had some very soft poop, not liquid though...
4)first night of this is ok, think i have heartburn, drink some baking soda water and go to bed
5)next night, I feel the same way only worse... so I drink more baking soda water
6)lay down... wait for burp that I allways get...
7) next thing I know Im puking on the side of my bed/floor
8) I had puked so hard, that I shit my boxers a little bit
9)go to bathroom asap and let loose about a gallon and a half of liquid *sounds like pee hitting the water* shit, and start puking in the bathtub right next to it...
10).....
11)........profit?
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Old 03-15-2005, 06:42 PM 5urg30n is offline  
#288  

SebG
SebTheDJ
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Shit stories are the best
Old 03-15-2005, 07:26 PM SebG is offline  
#289  

macky
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ///M3
Shit stories are the best



edit: aw weak
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Old 03-15-2005, 07:29 PM macky is offline  
#290  

gthesob
i coldn't even choose a good name how could i choose my own title?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Max Power
"So, bro, I hear you fucked the shit out of some girl last night."


Old 03-15-2005, 08:05 PM gthesob is offline  
#291  

5urg30n
1st_2_di3
 
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how the hell did this get to the 2nd page?

A kid in my first grade class shit allover himself+pants+toilet+wall... he had to call his mom to bring him pants... we called him shitstain for a while... someone wrote it on his car our senior year with that glass chalk stuff... it was meh
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Old 03-15-2005, 11:01 PM 5urg30n is offline  
#292  

Imma
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Well, I guess I kinda have one that happened to a girl in my class in the 4th grade.

We were having some sort of party for a different girl in my class. It was held at a pool. Some girl that was there I guess had to poop really bad and decided not to get out of the pool. Needless to say what happened next. It's kinda sad people in our class still talk about said incident behind her back.
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Old 03-15-2005, 11:04 PM Imma is offline  
#293  

5urg30n
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lol, I remember one time our class went to the local YMCA to swim and play basketball and shit ( I think they were doing something to the school for the day, or our classrooms... or something) and there were a bunch of people swimming...one of them got out of the pool ran to the lifeguard person (the kid had been diving for the 5lb rubber brick) and said he went down and got something dark, but it squished, and his hand smelled like poop...

needless to say I laughed at the people who had been swimming with poop in the pool, and went back to playing wallball...

edit:shit, i do suck at spelling
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Last edited by 1st_2_di3; 03-15-2005 at 11:23 PM..
Old 03-15-2005, 11:16 PM 5urg30n is offline  
#294  

las Vegas
I miss Ronny
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1st_2_di3
lol, I remember one time our class went to the local YMCA to swim and play basketball and shit ( I think they were doing something to the scool for the day, or our classrooms... or something) and there were a bunch of people swimming, and one of them got out of the pool ran to the lifeguard person (the kid had been diving for the 5lb rubber brick) and said he went down and got something dark, but it squished , and his hand spelled like poop...

needless to say I laughed at the people who had been swimming with poop in the pool, and went back to playing wallball...
poop is a shitty speller
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Old 03-15-2005, 11:19 PM las Vegas is offline  
#295  

Threnx
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Max Power
...Everyone is silent for a moment, until one of the brothers pipes up and says, "So, bro, I hear you fucked the shit out of some girl last night."

EL OH FUCKING EL
Old 03-15-2005, 11:31 PM Threnx is offline  
#296  

DarthWombaT
"The Man" who impregnated your sister
 
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god half the funny is in how these stories are written hahahah

This thread is shining in the darkness

edit: Mine
1. Was a little kid, like real young
2. Still weared tidy-whiteys
3. Went outside in 110 degree weather
4. Sharted in my pants, totally filling my BVDs
5. Took them off, threw the shit laiden underwear in the hamper
6. Mom had to clean them when she found the shit crusted remnance a week later
7. ...
8. Profit

Last edited by DarthWombaT; 03-16-2005 at 12:56 AM..
Old 03-16-2005, 12:30 AM DarthWombaT is offline  
#297  

5urg30n
1st_2_di3
 
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Just valut it allready... its starting to die...
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Old 03-16-2005, 12:53 AM 5urg30n is offline  
#298  

Sage2k
I <3 DM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rucker
when I was really little I was playing in the park next door to my grandmas house and really had to poop. I finally started home because I couldn't hold it anymore. Right in the living room, in front of my grandma, a little round turd fell out of my shorts. I said it was a rock I found at the park and picked it up and put it in my pocket and went to the bathroom

omfg this thread is retarded

when i was like 6 yr old i was at my dads store, i pooped a decent sized log, wrapped my hand in TP and tried picking it up out the toilet, it got all mushy but i managed to get it and put it in the trash can

i dunno wtf i did that for
Old 03-16-2005, 12:55 AM Sage2k is offline  
#299  

Noct
 
Was at ex-gf house, had to take a shit, she wouldn't let me in. I had to relieve myself in her backyard and wiped with leaves.
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Old 03-16-2005, 12:59 AM Noct is offline  
#300  

 


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