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PinkysAvenger
Pinkys Avenger
my title sucks i need a new one.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by itburnswhenipee
Ryans Steakhouse story:


i was gonna post that if no one else did
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Old 03-14-2005, 12:01 PM PinkysAvenger is offline  
#91  

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Dongboy
I am Kruzens Brother
 
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this thread fucking 0wns
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Old 03-14-2005, 12:03 PM Dongboy is offline  
#92  

Mr_Mike
 
My senior year of High School I worked at Arbys, and every single day at the end of my shift I had to go into the bathroom and clean all the shit that was guaranteed to be plastered to the seats of the toilets. However, one day, it was a bit different. The outside of the single toilet in the mens bathroom was immaculate, but the inside looked like it was filled with toilet paper and chocolate milk. The shade of brown wasn't so much like poop or even diluted poop, but chocolate milk. However, putting the plunger into the mass revealed its darker nature. After the first thick layer of toilet paper broke, I found five nice sized logs below. After the second layer, there was what looked like the source of the chocolate milk color: a massive amount of vomit. After the next layer laid 3 logs. After the next, there was a concluding mass of vomit and small turds that had found their way to the bottom, accompanied by a massive log that would make goatse whimper. Essentially, it was a mass of shit/vomit/toilet paper lasagna.

The only thing that I can make from all that was that someone shit out the massive log, clogged the toilet, and the 4-5 people after that simply shat and vomited into the mass, coating each previous layer with more toilet paper. In the end, I had to plunge this mass of nasty into the abnormally small hole of the toilet. Each careful plunge led to a bit of the chocolate shake nastiness to bubble up, a few drops jumping out. After finishing, three flushes managed to get rid of the persistant logs that remained.

Needless to say, I'm never working fast food again.
Old 03-14-2005, 12:13 PM Mr_Mike is offline  
#93  

Gearhead
god of welders and keeper of the magical torch
 
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Mine doesn't compare at all to any of these, but lets just say that I pulled "The Move" just in time and I shit so hard that it woke my parents up.

I then proceeded directly into the shower
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Old 03-14-2005, 12:17 PM Gearhead is offline  
#94  

Chavez
I miss the old [M]! It's just a bunch of tards and spam now! (and señor Chavez is to a large
 
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Old 03-14-2005, 12:19 PM Chavez is offline  
#95  

SilkSteel
 
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1.Kindergarten
2.Was uncomfortable shitting in public toilets
3.Tried to keep buttcheeks squeezed while waiting for my dad to pick me up - waiting in a line in the class
4.Pressure was too much.. little shit nugget fell out and rolled down the inside of my pants
5.Landed next to me shoe, I kicked it away - no one noticed
6.Teacher stepped on it
7....
8.Profit.
Old 03-14-2005, 12:27 PM SilkSteel is offline  
#96  

ThaOre0
 
OMG I'm crying here...FUNNAY IS PRESENT!
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Old 03-14-2005, 12:36 PM ThaOre0 is offline  
#97  

InModWeTrust
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilkSteel
1.Kindergarten
2.Was uncomfortable shitting in public toilets
3.Tried to keep buttcheeks squeezed while waiting for my dad to pick me up - waiting in a line in the class
4.Pressure was too much.. little shit nugget fell out and rolled down the inside of my pants
5.Landed next to me shoe, I kicked it away - no one noticed
6.Teacher stepped on it
7....
8.Profit.
Old 03-14-2005, 12:37 PM InModWeTrust is offline  
#98  

M|22's NutZ
i wish this title was on top, like M|22
 
Im not sure if im telling it right, but my brother told me this story a couple of months ago. He said it happened at his work. Apparently there was this old chinese lady that happened to have a problem controlling her bowels. She snuck into the employee washroom in the back and proceded to lay down a full spread of old people poop. I dont know if you have smelt/seen old people poop, but its a 100x worse than regular shit. The disease that also caused her to not control her bowels also made her shit some greenish color crap - and it reaked.... bad. Getting back to the full spread, apparently she sprayed the whole toilet, floor, and wall with her crap. I guess she decided not to tell anyone because she snuck out and left. No-one found the mess until the next day (employee washroom in the back which no-one really used much) and by then it had dried up somewhat, and had also left the whole shop reaking of crap. They had to close for the day and leave all the doors and windows open until the smell was gone.
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Old 03-14-2005, 12:38 PM M|22's NutZ is offline  
#99  

Gabbo
 
Haven't read Ryan's Steakhouse in ages, and now im getting light-headed from laughing...

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Old 03-14-2005, 12:57 PM Gabbo is offline  
#100  

muskiwolf
pwned
 
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oh man this thread is too funny

when i was like 7 i was at Shopko with my mom and i think i thought that i could hold it till we got home but alas the little brown jewl plopped into my shorts and i shook it out never to be seen again
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Old 03-14-2005, 01:00 PM muskiwolf is offline  
#101  

Suicide King
 
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we used to have one of those power shower heads at my house. I didn't really like soaping up my hand and shoving it up my ass so i just used the mega-jet function on the head. Well, one day i was commiting such an act and i guess i squirted something sensitve because i shit ALLOVER the fucking tub! In a panic, i used the mega-jet to spray all the shit down the drain, then i poured shampoo out were the shit had been to try and mask the smell. i got most of it out, and nobody seemed to notice.

it was still embarrasing though

edit: i was probably 14 at the time

cliffs:
1. use super-jet shower head to wash ass
2. hit some kind of pooper nerve
3. shit allover the tub.
4. drain pooper and use shampoo to hide smell
5. ...
6. profit killed itself
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Last edited by Suicide King; 03-14-2005 at 01:05 PM..
Old 03-14-2005, 01:02 PM Suicide King is offline  
#102  

Xtremelyhawtgurl
Rucker
 
when I was really little I was playing in the park next door to my grandmas house and really had to poop. I finally started home because I couldn't hold it anymore. Right in the living room, in front of my grandma, a little round turd fell out of my shorts. I said it was a rock I found at the park and picked it up and put it in my pocket and went to the bathroom
Old 03-14-2005, 01:02 PM Xtremelyhawtgurl is offline  
#103  

Chris
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilkSteel
1.Kindergarten
2.Was uncomfortable shitting in public toilets
3.Tried to keep buttcheeks squeezed while waiting for my dad to pick me up - waiting in a line in the class
4.Pressure was too much.. little shit nugget fell out and rolled down the inside of my pants
5.Landed next to me shoe, I kicked it away - no one noticed
6.Teacher stepped on it
7....
8.Profit.

ah ha ha ha!
Old 03-14-2005, 01:07 PM Chris is offline  
#104  

FordSupraFanatic
 
I farted a bunch today during school.
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Old 03-14-2005, 01:12 PM FordSupraFanatic is offline  
#105  

 


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