Originally Posted by ry goody aka dio
I went through a period of a few years of strong anxiety.
I literally quit all caffeine during that period because I thought it was a source of anxiety. If I drank even just a coke I would start getting panicky and uncomfortable. I had a few real bad freakouts from drinking some caffeine...
During this time I could be in situations and my heart would race to full speed for minutes at a time. I would just have an intense amount of energy running through me for no reason. Basically itd just be like bam, fight of flight response hits at full speed and I feel like I could run for miles in panic or think myself silly with hundreds of thoughts per minute.
My peripheral vision would get wider, everything would get really loud, I'd get super aware and sensitive, I would actually start seeing geometric forms run over surfaces. I also developed chronic migraines during this time, so with all this happening my head pain would increase 10 fold and would almost just like start blacking me out. I would start to get almost like a 'psychic' sense (not literally), its hard to describe, but just due to my extreme hypersensitivity and the rapidness of my thoughts, I could get so much information off of a single person just by looking at them that it almost feels like your tapped into a whole new level of perception and somewhat 'psychic'. I think my bouts with this actually borderlined on psychotic break just cause they were so intense.
There were times when I couldn't spend much time around anyone but a few certain friends. Times when I just spent curled up on floor in a ball...
At the time I was wondering 'are these panic attacks?' 'are these anxiety attacks?' 'what do I do?' 'Do these go away with time?'
In my instance the intensity of this did not go away. It actually increased. It got to the point where I'd just be sitting in class or a public place completely derealized, heart beating at full speed, nothing seeming real. After this happening for so much I just adapted to it, I got used to it.
Now I sit here, super hyper sensitive, wide peripheral vision, my text is a bit wavey and sparkley on the screen. 2 years ago this is the exact level of intensity that would of had me freaking out. But now it's just my norm. If I want I can let my brain go into endless rapid thoughts, or I can sit content and balanced.
I've really learned how to maintain a very good balance in mind, body and spirit, now I can withstand alot of extreme intensity without freaking out.
I concluded that, as you grow and get older, the intensity of the energy of your body also increases. When an increase first starts to hit you, you kind of freak out and it takes you some time to get comfortable with the new level of intensity your awareness is going to sit at.... but you adapt.
The thing that really let me get a grip on this new found level of intensity I experience is dancing. Dancing and drawing, simple art forms. Even some yoga, stretching and breathing exercises. After getting used to my new high level of intensity with those simple things, it kind of progressed. Now when I am in really intense states I can maintain focus on things much more complex like programming, or doing calculus or if you visit the pit, making threads. And I really impress myself these days, I can maintain an incredibly intense focus on a single project for like 8 hours straight without breaks if I have to. Never could do that before I started dealing with this new level of intensity.
Also during the time I was freaking out about this stuff I really had to face alot of issues I was suppressing and me coming to terms with all these suppressed issues is also a big component that let me become comfortable. It's the nature of suppressed issues that you don't know that your suppressing them... They just sort of seep up in unexpected ways, but remain completely hidden. I could tell you techniques to attempt to dig into yourself if your really willing to try and look.
The OTHER thing is I also discovered is that I was gluten intolerant and quitting gluten made a big difference in my mental state. Freal check into food allergies and intolerance issues. Consuming something your even just mildly intolerant to on a regular basis can really build up into some weird health issues and mental issues... and it is a good idea to try lowering caffeine intake if you do intake caffeine.