Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from hunger?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about BACON. Bacon is the safe, natural way to feel better and more satiated about yourself and your actions. Bacon can help ease you out of your hunger and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Bacon almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Hunger and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Bacon.
Bacon may not be right for everyone. Wait — who are we kidding. Bacon is right for every person on the planet. Try it, you’ll like it.
Side effects may include:
Loss of motor control
Loss of hunger
Loss of money
Loss of desire for other foods
And a desire to sing Karaoke
The consumption of Bacon may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
The consumption of Bacon may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them for introducing you to Bacon.
The consumption of Bacon may cause you to think you can sing.
The consumption of Bacon may make you think you can eat without drooling.
Mushrooms make some people feel dizzy and sick and some people get diarrhea (which is fun when you're tripping and the toilet keeps moving).